Boys and Piercings
kapeluza
Posts: 3,434 Member
Do you think it's ok for a 12 yr old boy to get his ears pierced?
Yes? No? Why?
Yes? No? Why?
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Replies
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For my kid no! For someone else's kid, well that's their deal. My thing is just that I think a boy looks stupid with his ear pierced, just like my mom wouldn't let my brother shave a word into his head unless it was "stupid". Her house her rules, My house my rules..................*sigh* I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree unless it's a really windy day. The other thing I wanted to add is that the only reason a boy would want an earring is to look cool and fit in and I would like to instill a cool collected confidence in my child that says they are awesome because they are awesome not because of the clothes they wear or the piercings they have, that stuff doesn't make people like you and I want them to understand that. If at 18 he still wants one, then it's been enough time and he can go for it. If I had ran out and got a tattoo when I wanted one because it looked cool I would be regretting it now. To me the only way the love of a tatt doesn't fade over time is if it means something to you.0
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Generally, when it comes to children and their appearances, I'm for letting them do whatever they want that isn't permanent or pornographic. Ear piercings can come out and the hole grows in. Yes, there may be a tiny hole leftover, but I've got scars from falling of my bike as a kid; no harm done either way.
So yeah, if he wants one, I'm cool with that.0 -
another thing I noticed is a lot of guys start with just a tiny little earring hole but that turns out not to be enough or cool enough so they start to gauge them out, and those holes don't return so easily0
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I got mine pierced at 12...they lasted 6 months before I got sick of them and pulled them out. I don't see a problem, the hole closes up and you can't see it now...0
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Personally I am not a fan of piercings on either gender really. Ears is fine, nose can look cute on a girl but generally I am not a fan when people start going overboard. However, I believe that anyone should be able to express themselves however they wish. That being said, I agree with the "my house, my rules" argument. If the parent is fine with allowing their child to get piercings then go right ahead. I think a big issue with a 12 year old getting a piercing has to do with hygiene. I know my sister got her ears pierced when she was young and because she was not very responsible she ended up with a lot of infections because she would not take care of the hole properly. I would probably say no, not because of the gender, but because of the age. I am not sure a kid is responsible enough to properly care for something like that on their own.0
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My son is 10 and has been asking me for a few years to get his done. Im afraid he will get teased at school bc we live in a yuppy town. I told him if he gets a good report card I will allow it. I think it looks cute!!!0
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If that is the only "rebellious" or "cool" thing consider yourself lucky. I would let him do it and make sure it was done right. it isn't anything permanent that is going to be there rest of his life if he doesn't want it. no harm, no foul.0
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Not in my house. And not when they're in college still on my payroll. No piercings for our sons, no long hair, no tattoos. Our daughter can have one hole in each ear. If they want to permanently alter their bodies, they can do that when they're on their own. I don't let my kids dress however they want either. They have choices, but their choices have to be approved. Sagging pants, goth, punk, thug are looks we don't approve of. Funny thing is, none of our sons has ever asked for any of that. My oldest is 25 and an accountant. Supports himself and has no tattoos, no piercings, and is as clean cut as they come.
I couldn't care less what other parents approve of, though.0 -
Not in my house. And not when they're in college still on my payroll. No piercings for our sons, no long hair, no tattoos. Our daughter can have one hole in each ear. If they want to permanently alter their bodies, they can do that when they're on their own. I don't let my kids dress however they want either. They have choices, but their choices have to be approved. Sagging pants, goth, punk, thug are looks we don't approve of. Funny thing is, none of our sons has ever asked for any of that. My oldest is 25 and an accountant. Supports himself and has no tattoos, no piercings, and is as clean cut as they come.
I couldn't care less what other parents approve of, though.
Why is it okay for your daughter to have her ears pierced but not your sons? Why not apply the rule across the board one way or the other?0 -
Do you think it's ok for a 12 yr old boy to get his ears pierced?
Yes? No? Why?
Sure, maybe. It really depends on the kid. If they're very active, or prone to wrestling around, it may very well be a dumb idea. But sometimes kids needs tiny, painful lessons in life. If you warn them ahead of time and they think they know better, there's only so much you can do. Learning how to deal with the consequences of being stubborn and arrogant is a part of life too
I have no objection to it based that age, gender, or how it appears.0 -
Same reason she and I are the only ones allowed to wear make-up, fingernail polish, dresses, and high heels.Why is it okay for your daughter to have her ears pierced but not your sons? Why not apply the rule across the board one way or the other?0 -
Same reason she and I are the only ones allowed to wear make-up, fingernail polish, dresses, and high heels.Why is it okay for your daughter to have her ears pierced but not your sons? Why not apply the rule across the board one way or the other?
And what would that reason be? I kind of sounds like the reason is "because I say so." You're the parents so you kind of get to do that, but if that's the only reason...0 -
We want our sons to be clean cut, free from piercings and tattoos until they are adults and can make a mature decision on altering their bodies. Appearances matter, whether we like it or not, and we want them to have opportunities at good schools and good employers. A 12 year old cannot possibly understand all possible ramifications of having pierced ears or tattoos.And what would that reason be? I kind of sounds like the reason is "because I say so." You're the parents so you kind of get to do that, but if that's the only reason...0 -
And what would that reason be? I kind of sounds like the reason is "because I say so." You're the parents so you kind of get to do that, but if that's the only reason...
I'm guessing you're not a parent...0 -
The other day I saw a two year old boy with pierced ears. No joke. I couldn't believe it.0
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We want our sons to be clean cut, free from piercings and tattoos until they are adults and can make a mature decision on altering their bodies. Appearances matter, whether we like it or not, and we want them to have opportunities at good schools and good employers. A 12 year old cannot possibly understand all possible ramifications of having pierced ears or tattoos.And what would that reason be? I kind of sounds like the reason is "because I say so." You're the parents so you kind of get to do that, but if that's the only reason...
I don't feel like that actually answered the question. You point out an inconsistency in how the children are treated, and it seems like you feel that saying that you don't want your sons wearing nail polish, etc should be self-evident as a rationale. I don't think it is self-evident.
Regardless
I understand what you're saying, but I kind of have to wonder if any of us really understand the ramifications of pierced ears or tattoos. For example, I have a great job in the tech industry, and the people who interviewed me wore cut off sweat pants as short and had both visible tattoos and piercings. We're pretty laid back, but we also get the job done; we just don't care if someone has a piercings or tattoos. Many of us have our graduate degrees from good schools. I think the ramifications you're talking about aren't all that universal, at least not anymore. Perhaps it's regional.
I personally don't have any piercings currently. I tried an ear piercing once and despite my neurotic obsessing over everything being clean, I got a bit of a keloid scar. No biggie, but it prompted me to believe that some bodies react better to piercings than others.0 -
I don't feel like that actually answered the question. You point out an inconsistency in how the children are treated, and it seems like you feel that saying that you don't want your sons wearing nail polish, etc should be self-evident as a rationale. I don't think it is self-evident.
A girl wearing make-up with pierced ears has no worry of ridicule or scorn. A boy, on the other hand.... for good or bad, does.0 -
And what would that reason be? I kind of sounds like the reason is "because I say so." You're the parents so you kind of get to do that, but if that's the only reason...
I'm guessing you're not a parent...
Isn't that bit of a scotman's fallacy? It's like saying, "well a real parent would understand that..." It assumes a certain set of defined, appropriate parenting strategies that I think might be a little prescriptive and...well...lame.0 -
I don't feel like that actually answered the question. You point out an inconsistency in how the children are treated, and it seems like you feel that saying that you don't want your sons wearing nail polish, etc should be self-evident as a rationale. I don't think it is self-evident.
A girl wearing make-up with pierced ears has no worry of ridicule or scorn. A boy, on the other hand.... for good or bad, does.
Scorn happens for all kinds of reasons. It doesn't mean we should give tacit approval of the scorn by giving into it. I get that parents feel a deep need to keep their children out of needless harm, but it can also be misguided. It's very situational.
And as a side note, girls very rightly get ridiculed and scorned for their makeup choices all the time.0 -
And what would that reason be? I kind of sounds like the reason is "because I say so." You're the parents so you kind of get to do that, but if that's the only reason...
I'm guessing you're not a parent...
Isn't that bit of a scotman's fallacy? It's like saying, "well a real parent would understand that..." It assumes a certain set of defined, appropriate parenting strategies that I think might be a little prescriptive and...well...lame.
And yet true, apparently
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I don't feel like that actually answered the question. You point out an inconsistency in how the children are treated, and it seems like you feel that saying that you don't want your sons wearing nail polish, etc should be self-evident as a rationale. I don't think it is self-evident.
A girl wearing make-up with pierced ears has no worry of ridicule or scorn. A boy, on the other hand.... for good or bad, does.
Scorn happens for all kinds of reasons. It doesn't mean we should give tacit approval of the scorn by giving into it. I get that parents feel a deep need to keep their children out of needless harm, but it can also be misguided. It's very situational.
And as a side note, girls very rightly get ridiculed and scorned for their makeup choices all the time.
You asked why there was a difference. I just told you why there was a difference. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish other than to be argumentative. Are you really going to suggest that it's just as socially acceptable (in the U.S anyway) for a 12-year old boy to wear make-up as a 12-year old girl??0 -
I don't feel like that actually answered the question. You point out an inconsistency in how the children are treated, and it seems like you feel that saying that you don't want your sons wearing nail polish, etc should be self-evident as a rationale. I don't think it is self-evident.
A girl wearing make-up with pierced ears has no worry of ridicule or scorn. A boy, on the other hand.... for good or bad, does.
Scorn happens for all kinds of reasons. It doesn't mean we should give tacit approval of the scorn by giving into it. I get that parents feel a deep need to keep their children out of needless harm, but it can also be misguided. It's very situational.
And as a side note, girls very rightly get ridiculed and scorned for their makeup choices all the time.
You asked why there was a difference. I just told you why there was a difference. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish other than to be argumentative. Are you really going to suggest that it's just as socially acceptable (in the U.S anyway) for a 12-year old boy to wear make-up as a 12-year old girl??
Nope. I'm not sure why you'd think I was saying that. My original intent was to understand why patti was treating her children differently with regard to piercings. So far the answer seems to be something along the lines of it's ok for girls but not for boys, which I find to be a a little incomplete for this specific subject. On the topic of being socially acceptable, why would it be ok for the girls and not the boys when it's clear that social acceptance doesn't necessarily have a problem with men, or boys, wearing earrings? I'm left to conclude a personal preference on the part of patti and her husband, and I seek to understand that nature of that.
You did state there was a difference but jumped right over the piercings and into drag, for lack of a more accurate term. I trotted down that lane that patti basically laid out for us when she seemed to indicate there was no difference between boys with piercings and boys wearing foundation--or at least the reasoning was the same. But I do believe there is a difference. As it happens I don't think either should be scorned, but it's kind of a different topic even if it is related.0 -
Team Patti all the way! (Is it cold in here? Did Hell freeze over?? :laugh: ) Except I only have 2 sons, no daughters and our oldest is 14.
I've gotten a bit more lax on clothes as they've gotten older but even then - no goth, no sagging, nothing vulgar. DS1 wore a shirt today that says "Silence! I Keel you!" and that's about as "out there" as I'd allow. Fortunately, neither of my boys want anything to do with the goth/sagging/piercing/tattoo/etc looks. Yea, multiple tattoos might be perfectly acceptable in some good jobs but definitely not most and not even most in that field. You might interview for a tech job with someone in shorts with tattoo sleeves and those Hotwheel tire things in their ears but you aren't going to interview for a tech job with the government, with Microsoft or Apple, etc with people like that and if you show up like that for the interview you will make a poor first impression. A clean cut person interviewing with someone in sweat pants isn't going to have any negative impact on their potential for a job. The opposite situation isn't true though.0 -
I'm not sure what sort of social circles you move in but IME it is not just as socially acceptable for boys to wear earrings as it is for girls. Occasionally I'll see a grown man with an earring but not very often. And I've only seen a tiny handful of teenage or younger boys with earrings and it looks weird to me. Of course, I also hate when parents cut their young child's hair into mohawks or dye it weird colors too. It looks trashy and low class. It looks like they would rather their child grow up to be a biker than a doctor. I'm sure that's not correct in most cases but that's just the way it looks to me. It's my opinion. I want my kids to look like future professionals not future thugs or welfare recipients.I don't feel like that actually answered the question. You point out an inconsistency in how the children are treated, and it seems like you feel that saying that you don't want your sons wearing nail polish, etc should be self-evident as a rationale. I don't think it is self-evident.
A girl wearing make-up with pierced ears has no worry of ridicule or scorn. A boy, on the other hand.... for good or bad, does.
Scorn happens for all kinds of reasons. It doesn't mean we should give tacit approval of the scorn by giving into it. I get that parents feel a deep need to keep their children out of needless harm, but it can also be misguided. It's very situational.
And as a side note, girls very rightly get ridiculed and scorned for their makeup choices all the time.
You asked why there was a difference. I just told you why there was a difference. I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish other than to be argumentative. Are you really going to suggest that it's just as socially acceptable (in the U.S anyway) for a 12-year old boy to wear make-up as a 12-year old girl??
Nope. I'm not sure why you'd think I was saying that. My original intent was to understand why patti was treating her children differently with regard to piercings. So far the answer seems to be something along the lines of it's ok for girls but not for boys, which I find to be a a little incomplete for this specific subject. On the topic of being socially acceptable, why would it be ok for the girls and not the boys when it's clear that social acceptance doesn't necessarily have a problem with men, or boys, wearing earrings? I'm left to conclude a personal preference on the part of patti and her husband, and I seek to understand that nature of that.
You did state there was a difference but jumped right over the piercings and into drag, for lack of a more accurate term. I trotted down that lane that patti basically laid out for us when she seemed to indicate there was no difference between boys with piercings and boys wearing foundation--or at least the reasoning was the same. But I do believe there is a difference. As it happens I don't think either should be scorned, but it's kind of a different topic even if it is related.0 -
Same reason she and I are the only ones allowed to wear make-up, fingernail polish, dresses, and high heels.Why is it okay for your daughter to have her ears pierced but not your sons? Why not apply the rule across the board one way or the other?
It is traditionally acceptable in Western European/American culture for women to have pierced ears, wear makeup etc. Except in certain sub-groups(gypsies, Scottish Highlanders up until c. 1745), piercings on men are neither the norm, nor traditionally acceptable in the vast majority of polite/professional society.
I'm team Patti all the way on this one too. No son of mine would be permitted to acquire piercings, tattoos etc whilst under my roof - it would limit his opportunites too much and is contrary to the way I would want him to be perceived by the wider world. I would also maintain similar standards of dress, and acceptable hair-styles (though Patti and I have differing opinions on some other things :laugh: ). For the majority of jobs/schools/universities/employers, even social settings, appearances dictate in large part how one is treated and the opportunities one is granted. Piercings/tattoos etc automatically alter the wider world's perception of a person, and I would want to be sure that such a decision was taken only once my son was aware of exactly how that would affect his life chances ie. well into adult life!
For what it's worth, I don't believe in ear piercings on young girls either - not before mid-late teens at the earliest. It's tacky, and traditionally implies a level of maturity/adult availability I find deeply uncomfortable when on a young child. There is also always the issue of hygiene and a growing body to deal with. Obviously there are exceptions where it is a cultural/religious norm, but in general, no.0 -
My original intent was to understand why patti was treating her children differently with regard to piercings.
Because our society treats them differently....when it's clear that social acceptance doesn't necessarily have a problem with men, or boys, wearing earrings?
I do not agree with this assertion.As it happens I don't think either should be scorned...
Neither do I. But that's not the same as being naive enough to believe that everyone else feels the same way.0 -
Yes, we treat our sons differently than we treat our daughter. I think I've answered the question of why our boys are not allowed to have pierced ears.I don't feel like that actually answered the question. You point out an inconsistency in how the children are treated, and it seems like you feel that saying that you don't want your sons wearing nail polish, etc should be self-evident as a rationale. I don't think it is self-evident.
Of course there are SOME jobs a man can get if he shows up in sweat pants, a pony tail, pierced ears and tattoos. Plenty of nice paying jobs, too, I'm sure. The point is that having those things can limit one's opportunities. We don't want their opportunities limited by their appearance and we're trying to teach them that. A woman walking into a job interview with pierced ears will not limit her opportunities.I understand what you're saying, but I kind of have to wonder if any of us really understand the ramifications of pierced ears or tattoos. For example, I have a great job in the tech industry, and the people who interviewed me wore cut off sweat pants as short and had both visible tattoos and piercings. We're pretty laid back, but we also get the job done; we just don't care if someone has a piercings or tattoos. Many of us have our graduate degrees from good schools. I think the ramifications you're talking about aren't all that universal, at least not anymore. Perhaps it's regional.0 -
Fair enough. You all obviously either live in places where men wearing earrings means something, or you otherwise have cause to think it matters somehow. That doesn't happen to match up with my life experiences, for which I'm most grateful. That level of prescription seems a little shallow to me, but who knows. Maybe some culture thinks I'm a puritanical twit for bothering to wear clothes when external conditions, and my own standards for hygiene, would allow me to just walk around naked. It's all relative, I suppose.0
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Ok, this is a very special subject to me as the love of my life has 7 piercings, INCLUDING his ears gauged to 1 5/8inches and dozens of hours of tattoo work. I myself have 5 piercings and 7 hours worth of ink.
If my son wants to have his ears pierced, I will let him when he is old enough to ask. I don't see any reason whatsoever, why it should be ok for a daughter to get ears pierced and not a son, other than a terrible double standard.
It makes me sick the way people look at my boyfriend in public. He doesn't care, but it enrages me. He is a wonderful man, a wonderful father to my son (even though he doesn't have to be, he's not his biological father), a great student going to Purdue for business and marketing degrees and a great employee. He is a model person in everyway, yet people treat him like a criminal because he has big ears, and a ring in his lip and eyebrow. He goes out of his way to help people, hold doors, and exhibits kindness and manners some people think died off back in the 50's. He would stop his car to help an old lady across the street, I don't know too many people who would take the time or effort to do that. There are some people who give him a chance and respect him once they see who he is.. People look at his with disgust because they are too shallow to see him for what he is inside!
I don't see juding someone for having body modification any differently than juding someone for having certain brands of clothing or a certain skin color. If you think less of or look down on someone becase they have piercings or tattoos, shame on you.0 -
Do you think it's ok for a 12 yr old boy to get his ears pierced?
Yes? No? Why?
It's no more or less appropriate for a boy to get pierced than a girl. Under the age of 18, however, parental consent is required.0
This discussion has been closed.