I just stopped myself in the middle of a "mini" binge. I wanted to have an all-out binge, but I ended up only having a 1/2 a cup of ice cream. I told myself to slow down while I was eating, and I thought to myself "I'm trying to be binge free, this isn't worth it." I put down the ice cream and threw it out. I wrote this about a month ago when I had a similar experience mid binge:


"So my dad bought a gallon of ice cream, for the first time in about a month. He was standing up and binging on it (yeah, it runs in the family). Ice cream is a HUGE binge trigger for me. I don't know why. I ended up binging on it and had about 2 cups, which isn't so bad, considering I usually will consume massive more amounts of it. And my net is still 1500!! This is the first binge I have ever had in which I did not feel guilty during or after the binge. I felt a content awareness while binging. I was able to spot my food trigger (the ice cream), reflect on my mood (which was irritable all day), and reflect on what I ate today. I came to the conclusion that ice cream is a trigger food, I was moody all day, and I didn't eat enough nutrients for the day. I burned a lot of calories during spin, and was only netting 1,000. I don't think this was enough for me, which triggered cravings and the binge. I have come to the realization that I am going to pathologize my binge eating habits and treat it the same way as AA would treat a person who suffers from alcoholism. I am a binge eater, I have always been a binge eater, and I will always be a binge eater. I had a relapse, and will probably have future ones. It is going to be a lifetime struggle that I'm going to have to work on each day. A binge is not a setback, it is an opportunity to reflect on what triggered my binge and to get back to track the next day. If I could find my triggers, I could more easily find another coping skill besides binging. This is a huge breakthrough for me. I have never binged and felt no guilt afterwards. I actually feel content. I feel that I have a stronger awareness of my psych in relation to the binge. I don't think that I will ever gain a significant amount of weight again (knock on wood). A binge is usually a setback for me, and causes me to binge and binge because I already ****ed up. I honestly feel that after a lapse, I can just move on and eat healthy during the next meal. I am so happy right now. This is a first after a binge!!!"


During today's binge, I realized that the ice cream is a trigger for me. I was also having some anxious thoughts today. I ate pretty nutritiously for breakfast and lunch though, so I don't think lack of nutrition was a factor today.

I think that if we can be more aware of our triggers and emotions, especialy during a binge, we can tell ourselves to slow down. In Geneen Roth's book, "Women, Food, and God" (I highly recommend it. I am going to read it again), she quoted: "Compulsive eating and awareness cannot co-exist." Thus, if you are self-aware, you will not binge. There is a lot more to it than this, but that is the main premise.