"Preachy Vegans"
Elliemage
Posts: 25
Hey folks- so I've been a vegetarian for close to three years now and just made the switch over to vegan. I'm really curious if anyone else has had problems with people crying all over about vegans being "preachy."
I'm really getting sort of frustrated, since it's happening with people that I had sort of thought would be more supportive. For the record, I try pretty hard to keep a lid on my opinions unless asked- but it seems that lately whenever I go out in a group or whatever and ask for vegan options/ request that the dairy be held from my dishes everyone feels the need to comment. I don't really mind, but when I explain (usually something along the lines of how it's a personal choice that I feel is right for me,) more explanation is always requested... if I reply at all, someone inevitably ends up remarking on how "pushy" vegans are. Considering that I wouldn't have said anything at all without some pretty persistent poking, it's really starting to get to me.
Will this just go away once people are used to it? I'm not trying to make everyone defensive, but I'm certainly not going to start eating cheese again just so they'll shut up either. :P
I'm really getting sort of frustrated, since it's happening with people that I had sort of thought would be more supportive. For the record, I try pretty hard to keep a lid on my opinions unless asked- but it seems that lately whenever I go out in a group or whatever and ask for vegan options/ request that the dairy be held from my dishes everyone feels the need to comment. I don't really mind, but when I explain (usually something along the lines of how it's a personal choice that I feel is right for me,) more explanation is always requested... if I reply at all, someone inevitably ends up remarking on how "pushy" vegans are. Considering that I wouldn't have said anything at all without some pretty persistent poking, it's really starting to get to me.
Will this just go away once people are used to it? I'm not trying to make everyone defensive, but I'm certainly not going to start eating cheese again just so they'll shut up either. :P
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Don't bother explaining most of the time it's a trap
bottom line you under no circumstances discuss your diet with anyone, if they ask tell them that. They can't really say vegans are preachy if you won't discuss it with them. As far as the preachy vegans go, there are just as many preachy meat eaters to match preachy vegans, no side is right and it's the few that gave bad names for all, I do know one thing though if you preach to a meat eater you will only make them have a bigger piece of steak. people are like cats about their diets it has to be their idea no anyone elses0 -
I am generally sick and tired of people feeling they have the right to comment on what I do and don't eat, when I have never commented on their food choices - even though they make me sick! I've pretty much lost patience with it all and try to just walk away or change the subject, but that doesn't always work. Sorry that doesn't really help you, just wanted you to know that you're not alone!0
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I agree that it can and does go both ways. I just try not to discuss it, but unfortunately, especially as a parent, it does come up. I just got told (by my MIL) that we are "depriving" our son by not "letting" him eat fast food cheeseburgers. :mad: He's one of the healthiest kids I know and never liked junk food even before our family adopted a plant-based diet.0
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I agree that it can and does go both ways. I just try not to discuss it, but unfortunately, especially as a parent, it does come up. I just got told (by my MIL) that we are "depriving" our son by not "letting" him eat fast food cheeseburgers. :mad: He's one of the healthiest kids I know and never liked junk food even before our family adopted a plant-based diet.
depriving him of what exactly .....childhood obesity hahaha, I am kidding lol but I woulda told her where to stick her unwanted opinion..................but then again I've got a big mouth0 -
I guess I have a big mouth too... just saying I don't want to discuss it never really occurred to me! I've got an outing tonight (another chance to be GOOD! Not another temptation to be bad... that's how I'm thinking of it.) and I'm about 99.74% positive that at least someone will make a crack at the lack of cheese on my sandwich.
FindingBliss... I can't imagine how you do it. My boyfriend is a pretty staunch carnivore and while I have a tiny little flame of hope that maybe he'll come around eventually, I am in no way holding out!! I imagine when kids enter the picture it'll end up as something of a compromise. Luckily, my not-quite-MIL has read "Eat to Live" and is super supportive- there's always a huge salad available if there's not much in the main course that I will eat and she's even stepped up to defend me when the boyfriend or his dad try to feed me non-vegan fare (you HAVE to try this soup! I'll just get you a bite without a chunk of ham in it. >_>)
I'm just trying to imagine that along with my awesome food choices strengthening my body, sticking to my guns is strengthening my resolve (+2 Willpower!)0 -
I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and a vegan off and on. I've *never* met one of these preachy vegans that supposedly lurks behind every stalk of broccoli. I have, however, met plenty of preachy omnivores who seem to think they have a right to tell me what to eat.0
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I guess I have a big mouth too... just saying I don't want to discuss it never really occurred to me! I've got an outing tonight (another chance to be GOOD! Not another temptation to be bad... that's how I'm thinking of it.) and I'm about 99.74% positive that at least someone will make a crack at the lack of cheese on my sandwich.
FindingBliss... I can't imagine how you do it. My boyfriend is a pretty staunch carnivore and while I have a tiny little flame of hope that maybe he'll come around eventually, I am in no way holding out!! I imagine when kids enter the picture it'll end up as something of a compromise. Luckily, my not-quite-MIL has read "Eat to Live" and is super supportive- there's always a huge salad available if there's not much in the main course that I will eat and she's even stepped up to defend me when the boyfriend or his dad try to feed me non-vegan fare (you HAVE to try this soup! I'll just get you a bite without a chunk of ham in it. >_>)
I'm just trying to imagine that along with my awesome food choices strengthening my body, sticking to my guns is strengthening my resolve (+2 Willpower!)
allergies work wonders too
lots of people find out they are allergic to lots of stuff all the time. You just happen to be allergic to dairy, and you were already a veggie so they should be used to that by now. 0 -
I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and a vegan off and on. I've *never* met one of these preachy vegans that supposedly lurks behind every stalk of broccoli. I have, however, met plenty of preachy omnivores who seem to think they have a right to tell me what to eat.
agreed.0 -
I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and a vegan off and on. I've *never* met one of these preachy vegans that supposedly lurks behind every stalk of broccoli. I have, however, met plenty of preachy omnivores who seem to think they have a right to tell me what to eat.
agreed.
But that would be preaching to the choir. Vegans and vegetarians wouldn't preach to each other, or if they did it wouldn't be preaching it would be agreeing lol0 -
I have met a preachy ex-vegan (now vegetarian) but he is one out of dozens that i know. I have however experienced every second meat-eater wanting to explain why i should eat meat. i dont entertain their arguments anymore i just point out that i respect their choices and they should respect mine, that usually shuts them up.0
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Next time somebody feels the need to comment, just ask them why all omnivores have to be so freaking preachy about what they eat...0
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But that would be preaching to the choir. Vegans and vegetarians wouldn't preach to each other, or if they did it wouldn't be preaching it would be agreeing lol
True up to a point, but honestly if these people were so common (as I've been told), I would think I'd have witnessed it happening at least once.
This topic comes up a lot on various forums and there are always omnis who claim that *all* veg/vegan people are like this. A few years ago I decided to ask all my veg friends if they'd ever done anything like this, or knew anyone who had, nope. I then asked a bunch of people I knew online, including entire mailing lists full of people I trusted to give me a reasonably truthful answer. Out of everyone I asked I was able to come up with one person who knew someone who was kind of preachy about being veg.
I just don't think these supposed preachy vegans are anywhere near as common as non-veg people like to claim. I think they're purposely perpetuating a stereotype that has little to no basis in fact.0 -
I think it goes more like this................Omnivores and Vegans are preaching at each other. Each one saying the other one is preaching. Because they disagree and take offense they feel preached to, so instead of having a back and forth conversation they both end up more resolved to their style of eating and the other party was just preaching at them. I do see this A LOT. I have seen both sides guilty of this, whether it be more on one side than the other is purely objective and based solely on your own personal experience.0
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I think you totally hit the nail on the head. Diet is such a personal choice that I think omnis especially feel threatened just by being around veg*ns- I think (maybe not necessarily consciously) they feel that simply by eating the way that we do, we're sending a message that the way they eat is wrong... and we all know how defensive people can get about their food. When they ask questions and we actually have reasonable answers for things like "well... cavemen ate meat." they label it as "preaching"... and in return we clearly notice when everyone and their mom is suddenly concerned about the contents of our dinner.
I think for me the biggest surprise was that I never thought it would be those closest to me who would actually get aggressive about it, or complain that I was being obnoxious when, as a general rule, I try to keep my mouth shut unless specifically asked.0 -
I just found an example of the judgmental preachy vegan that seems so elusive lol, Check out this thread and tell me if you can spot them.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/602008-should-vegans-eat-honey
Make sure you read the whole thread, and if you think you've spotted them click on their profile and then you will know for sure.
Not saying I don't agree to a point but they come across way way to judgmental, the only thing accomplished with this attitude is causing a meat eater to go home and enjoy their thick juicy steak that much more out of spite.
You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar hahahahahaha I made a joke that has to do with the title of that thread.....................well I thought it was pretty clever0 -
Well, you can find literally *anything* on the internet, people are just freaking weird. Mainly we're talking about real-life experiences. I've never met a "preachy vegan" face to face, and that includes years of working in Oberlin, Oh, which is relatively thick with vegans.0
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Well, you can find literally *anything* on the internet, people are just freaking weird. Mainly we're talking about real-life experiences. I've never met a "preachy vegan" face to face, and that includes years of working in Oberlin, Oh, which is relatively thick with vegans.
I found this thread that was posted very recently on mfp from a vegan MFP member, I hardly consider that finding *anything* on the internet and again a vegan rich community in my mind wouldn't bring out preachy meat eaters. But I will say the only time I have witnessed preachy vegans they were usually debating with a counterpart whether one side started it or the other.
*On a side note I have enjoyed debating with you on this topic and I think you should see about the debatable debators group. You might enjoy it, and we would love to have more good points of view*0 -
I just found an example of the judgmental preachy vegan that seems so elusive lol, Check out this thread and tell me if you can spot them.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/602008-should-vegans-eat-honey
Make sure you read the whole thread, and if you think you've spotted them click on their profile and then you will know for sure.
Not saying I don't agree to a point but they come across way way to judgmental, the only thing accomplished with this attitude is causing a meat eater to go home and enjoy their thick juicy steak that much more out of spite.
You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar hahahahahaha I made a joke that has to do with the title of that thread.....................well I thought it was pretty clever
Is it really fair to call those expressing their opinions in a topical thread "preachy"? The original post actually asks "How do you vegans out there feel about eating honey?"
It would be one thing if the topic was unrelated, or just something about honey, but it was a thread asking a question regarding opinion.0 -
I feel you girl! When I first went vegetarian my husband’s first words were “you’re not gonna go vegan are you? Those people are weird.” After a few long talks I told him that I may ultimately end up vegan but that it was an ethical stance and about food choices, it’s not a religion (apparently he met a vegan family who talked about the animal spirits and basically worshiped nature and that’s what he was thinking about.) I know that when I went veg he felt he was losing his meat eating allay (especially since I do most of the cooking) because of this I have had a hard time going Vegan because I don’t want to worry about how it will make him feel.
More and more I am realizing how corrupt the animal product industry is and that I don’t want to be a part of it. Wow….I keep retyping each line because I realize I’m being “preachy” haha. I’d check out compassionatecook.com she has some awesome podcast about it. There’s also a video on youtube of her speaking at some conference about being unapologetic about our food choices. Why do those of us that chose to live compassionately need to apologize? If I pulled over to the side of the road to help someone who was hurt I would tell anyone who had a problem with my doing this to shove off, why do I need to apologize for helping an animal…Why is rescuing an abused dog compassionate but refusing to purchase abused animals and their excretions something we need to apologize about?
I will never get in anyone face about their choice to eat meat; it really is their choice. If people have a problem with “preachy” vegans oh well. It’s not my responsibility to decide how other people feel about actions. I make no apologies for my vegetarianism, impending veganism, sobriety, or faith in Christ. If anyone doesn’t like that it’s not my fault. Don’t make apologies for who you are.0 -
Ellie, I realize that my little manifesto probably didn't really give you much encouragment beyond "be bold girl!" So I wanted to pop on again and say, I have found that with those I care about if they give me crap for it I say "I'm not asking you to change your diet, and I'm not asking you to like mine, but I do ask that you please respect it because this is important to me." For the most part that shuts them up. Good luck!0
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I just found an example of the judgmental preachy vegan that seems so elusive lol, Check out this thread and tell me if you can spot them.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/602008-should-vegans-eat-honey
Make sure you read the whole thread, and if you think you've spotted them click on their profile and then you will know for sure.
Not saying I don't agree to a point but they come across way way to judgmental, the only thing accomplished with this attitude is causing a meat eater to go home and enjoy their thick juicy steak that much more out of spite.
You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar hahahahahaha I made a joke that has to do with the title of that thread.....................well I thought it was pretty clever
Is it really fair to call those expressing their opinions in a topical thread "preachy"? The original post actually asks "How do you vegans out there feel about eating honey?"
It would be one thing if the topic was unrelated, or just something about honey, but it was a thread asking a question regarding opinion.
I was giving an example and the way they worded it as well as their profile page tells you how they feel about people that consume animal products. What does this have to do with being fair? They said they never encountered a judgmental vegan so I gave an example of one, I didn't even give their information so they would have to figure out who it was on their own, but the poster made it quite obvious. Again they can have whatever opinion they want but how they put their opinion out there is how others will interpret what kind of person they are.0 -
I was giving an example and the way they worded it as well as their profile page tells you how they feel about people that consume animal products. What does this have to do with being fair? They said they never encountered a judgmental vegan so I gave an example of one, I didn't even give their information so they would have to figure out who it was on their own, but the poster made it quite obvious. Again they can have whatever opinion they want but how they put their opinion out there is how others will interpret what kind of person they are.
Not even really calling you out or trying to start a fight - I love reading your posts on boards! - just wanted to point out that it was an opinion thread. I do agree with you that the way you present something is definitely a big factor in how people perceive you - in fact I probably get labeled a "preachy vegan" more often than I'd like, but I guess it's also a very emotionally-charged topic.
Presentation is definitely important, but I think a lot of people label vegans as "preachy" right off the bat. It always baffles me when people question me about why I request no eggs or dairy in my food, and when I answer truthfully, it's labeled as "preachy" or "pushing my beliefs". A lot of vegans definitely don't help themselves in that department, though.0 -
I was giving an example and the way they worded it as well as their profile page tells you how they feel about people that consume animal products. What does this have to do with being fair? They said they never encountered a judgmental vegan so I gave an example of one, I didn't even give their information so they would have to figure out who it was on their own, but the poster made it quite obvious. Again they can have whatever opinion they want but how they put their opinion out there is how others will interpret what kind of person they are.
Not even really calling you out or trying to start a fight - I love reading your posts on boards! - just wanted to point out that it was an opinion thread. I do agree with you that the way you present something is definitely a big factor in how people perceive you - in fact I probably get labeled a "preachy vegan" more often than I'd like, but I guess it's also a very emotionally-charged topic.
Presentation is definitely important, but I think a lot of people label vegans as "preachy" right off the bat. It always baffles me when people question me about why I request no eggs or dairy in my food, and when I answer truthfully, it's labeled as "preachy" or "pushing my beliefs". A lot of vegans definitely don't help themselves in that department, though.
I never took it that way, I enjoy your posts and great opinions as well and I love seeing your opinions in Debatable Debators. My fiance is one of those meat eaters that says stupid things sometimes that would provoke or put on the defense any ethical vegan saying things like I just don't understand why vegans are all so pale and why do they have to be so judging............really *sigh*. I believe most vegans, vegetarians, and pescetarians just want to be left alone about it. But are provoked into responses(because it's an emotional topic) by someone with an "I'm just curious attitude, that turns into "why are you being preachy to me". Both sides really are guilty of it and I think a lot of it is antagonizing , but we are probably talking only 4%(totally made up that number haha) of vegans and meat eaters that actually act this way, and make a bad name for everyone else. I do have a lot of respect for strict vegans though, it's a huge commitment. 0 -
Ellie, I realize that my little manifesto probably didn't really give you much encouragment beyond "be bold girl!" So I wanted to pop on again and say, I have found that with those I care about if they give me crap for it I say "I'm not asking you to change your diet, and I'm not asking you to like mine, but I do ask that you please respect it because this is important to me." For the most part that shuts them up. Good luck!
Lol, actually that did help I have a tendency to not be very bold at all, so even just having people say it's ok can help! That last little bit you said hit home though- I'm going to have to use it! 0 -
I've been a vegetarian for 30 years and a vegan off and on. I've *never* met one of these preachy vegans that supposedly lurks behind every stalk of broccoli. I have, however, met plenty of preachy omnivores who seem to think they have a right to tell me what to eat.
agreed.
But that would be preaching to the choir. Vegans and vegetarians wouldn't preach to each other, or if they did it wouldn't be preaching it would be agreeing lol
I've met more preachy vegans than non-preachy ones. And many of the preachy vegans I've met attack vegetarians MORE than meat-eaters. They label vegetarians as "hypocrites" and make comments that "you should know better".
These vegans kept me as a vegetarian for 8 years. It was only when I met some nice ones online that I learnt that becoming vegan doesn't guarantee becoming obnoxious and self-righteous.
I've been happily vegan now for five years. Of the obnoxious vegans I went to school with, I don't think a single one is still a vegan. Furthermore, the obnoxious one I know as an adult lapses regularly. I think those things say more about the people than veganism: if someone's obnoxious about it, they're probably trying to stand out or cover their own insecurities.0 -
allergies work wonders too lots of people find out they are allergic to lots of stuff all the time. You just happen to be allergic to dairy, and you were already a veggie so they should be used to that by now.
Okay, I have a big problem with this^. Ethical vegans aren't actually *allergic* to animal products, they are choosing not to eat them for ethical reasons. That's a powerful choice and the power of that choice should be recognized (in a non-pushy, non-obnoxious way). And it's a great catalyst for change. And when you say you're *allergic* and you're not, you are misrepresenting the degree to which allergic people need to avoid their trigger foods in order to not go into anaphylactic shock. It's one thing to say "I'm lactose intolerant" (75% of people are, to some degree or another, and when you go off milk you pretty much become lactose intolerant anyway) but to lie about a food *allergy* so that you don't have to stand up for what you obviously believe in, stinks. People who are allergic to milk or eggs have a serious health condition. My husband can't even be in the same room as cooking eggs, and his allergy is not considered severe. But we meet a lot of pretty intense misapprehensions about his egg allergy and my Celiac that obviously come from pretend allergy people who are really either ethical dieters or picky eaters or people who (I've really met this, and it drives me crazy) are lying about having a food allergy to get attention or something. I don't understand why people don't see this the way they see lying about -- and incidentally spreading misinformation about safety measures for -- other potentially fatal illnesses.
I've been vegetarian most of my life (since 1988 or so) and vegan for a lot of it (5-6 years all told?) and I love it. And I am not into the pushy game (although I have to play it a lot for my Celiac disease). I have met pushy vegans, and vegans who wanted to make a big show of leading by example and it obviously puts people off, I think these pushy vegans have done the most harm to the "cause" of veganism that anyone could do. I also think people who do that fall into the category of "just trying to get girls/guys" or whatever, but maybe they were sent by the beef cattle ranchers association or whatever it's called.
I've also had the experience you're talking about, OP, and it's super annoying. ("Oooooh, you're vegan? What are you going to do if I order a nice big bloody raw bloody raw baby cow-crying-mama steak with a huge pile of bacon on top? Huuuuuuh?" Um, I'm going to eat my meal and not be remotely jealous of yours, that's what...) I usually just dealt with it by saying, "yeah, I mean, I just like vegan food better, I don't care what you eat, can we talk about something else?" People who are open to hearing about how they can follow in your footsteps will let you know. And you can always surprise them by concocting delicious vegetable based food that is filling and feast-y sometime when they visit you, unless they are truly hopeless carnivores. I think maybe it is easy for me because I grew up with a vegetarian mom who did all the cooking, so it was not a big tense lifestyle shift for me that I got really worked up about. And I've been doing it for a very long time so I'm used to rolling my eyes at and saying whatever to both sides of the obnoxiousness. You'll find your good standing ground, OP, give it a little time. People are just ridiculous. 0 -
I've never actually met a preachy vegan, and most people who complain about them probably haven't either.0
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I just found an example of the judgmental preachy vegan that seems so elusive lol, Check out this thread and tell me if you can spot them.
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/602008-should-vegans-eat-honey
Make sure you read the whole thread, and if you think you've spotted them click on their profile and then you will know for sure.
Not saying I don't agree to a point but they come across way way to judgmental, the only thing accomplished with this attitude is causing a meat eater to go home and enjoy their thick juicy steak that much more out of spite.
You catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar hahahahahaha I made a joke that has to do with the title of that thread.....................well I thought it was pretty clever
I assume you're referring to me. If you think I'm "preachy" well then I am proud of that. I consider the consumption of animal products abhorrent because it is murder and torture, so I don't have much respect for excuses or omnivore crap when it comes to talking about dietary ethics.0 -
I have been a vegetarian for over 30 years...it doesn't stop. I, however, go from being passive and quiet to being straight and direct.
I like to turn the table on the animal eaters. I speak up more now...I don't say I am a vegetarian...I just say I don't eat meat or cheese or anything with eyes. If that makes me preachy...then "Amen".0 -
There's a thread in the main food forum right now titled, "Vegetarianism. Seriously? (A Debate)," and this isn't the first time that sort of topic has popped up. The truth is meat eaters are the preachy ones. For some reason they just aren't content do their own thing and leave vegans and vegetarians alone to do theirs.0
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