well out of control.
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graelwyn
Posts: 1,340 Member
My binge eating has been so bad the last week or so. I go days where i can have sweets in the kitchen and ignore them then right before my period i go crazy only its never been this bad.
I first binged on bakery cookies and the like at 6pm yesterday til i was bloated and full. I had meant to only have one of each. Got home within five minutes and purged. Had a normal dinner. Then decided in pure insanity to order 2 tubs of ben and jerrys and cookies from domino pizza at 1.30am. I felt full so was sure i could have a few spoons and be done. Almost a test to myself to see if i can behave normally around food yet. Ended up eating both tubs and again purging. Got into bed with a tub of marshmallow wafers and chocolate eclairs and stuffed so much i felt literally sick and ill. And i dont know why i did this. Nothing has happened other than my usual pmt, boredom with my life in general and my ocd being really bad.
I think my only option now is to ban refined sugar now for a few weeks then only allow it as an occasional dessert with my bf or a single cake portion when out. For now i am left feeling upset, angry and gross knowing that this will leave me too drained to even exercise any off today and that i will want my bf away from me when i have been such a pig.
I first binged on bakery cookies and the like at 6pm yesterday til i was bloated and full. I had meant to only have one of each. Got home within five minutes and purged. Had a normal dinner. Then decided in pure insanity to order 2 tubs of ben and jerrys and cookies from domino pizza at 1.30am. I felt full so was sure i could have a few spoons and be done. Almost a test to myself to see if i can behave normally around food yet. Ended up eating both tubs and again purging. Got into bed with a tub of marshmallow wafers and chocolate eclairs and stuffed so much i felt literally sick and ill. And i dont know why i did this. Nothing has happened other than my usual pmt, boredom with my life in general and my ocd being really bad.
I think my only option now is to ban refined sugar now for a few weeks then only allow it as an occasional dessert with my bf or a single cake portion when out. For now i am left feeling upset, angry and gross knowing that this will leave me too drained to even exercise any off today and that i will want my bf away from me when i have been such a pig.
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I know how you feel, I would sit in front of the tv for hours just eating. It wasn't that I was hungry, or even bored. I just felt this urge to eat something sweet. In one week I gained almost 10 lbs, and couldn't fit in any of my pants. That's when I realized I really needed to crack down on my dieting and exercise. I tried a 1200 calorie diet, but I'd always end up screwing up and binge eating. I've upped my calories to 1400, and I eat really low calorie meals. One thing that helps me keep track is that I do let myself have a treat every day. If I've done good throughout the day at the end of the day, I allow myself the low cal ice cream. Even in the middle of the day for snacks, I can get a rice krispie treat or other yummy low cal snack if I did good with calories with breakfast and lunch. It's helped me because I'm not cutting the sweets out completely, and I know I can have something yummy for a snack and at the end of the day. There are a lot of really good low cal snacks out there, you just have to search for them. You don't always have to cut out every sweet out there. You just have to balance it out. I know it's been helping me stay on track and not go over on my calories. Most days I'm still under by 100.
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Oh, I did the 2 tubs of Ben &Jerrys the other day to...amongst a lot of other stuff! I feel ya. I to have binged so much there was no other option but to purge I felt so crook...but it didnt finish there...and I found myself going for a drive to buy a ****load of Thai Food and ate that aswell! Ive been bad the last couple of months..iceream and chocolate being the main offenders (even tho Ive never really been a "sweets" girl much before. Arrgh, just gotta get serious now. I know I just cant buy anything in bulk containers coz I just cant control myself.0
