The case for the older woman.
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MikeM53082
Posts: 1,199 Member
As some of you know, I divulge a little bit of my dating experiences with the forums every once in a while. My "thing" over the past couple of years has been dating women who are considerably older than me. Before the topic of sugar-mama comes up, my situation has absolutely nothing to do with money (as I do pretty well and live a responsible lifestyle). For some reason, older women just really turn me on and do it for me. Does anyone else agree with me?
I wanted to dive into my psyche to figure out why I think like this. I've never had a close relationship with my parents growing up.. maybe that's it. However, I really think it's that I'm fiercely independent and mature and I think I really seek that in a partner. Most women my age are still in the weekend partying, not settled in their career, and just a little too wild. After a crazy week at work, the last thing I want to do is go to a club until 2 in the morning. I'd rather pick up some pizza and watch a Netflix movie.
The hardest thing about hooking a mature women is getting her to take you seriously. But once I can do that, I'm in good shape. Question to the women, what would make you go for a guy who is 10-15 years younger than you?
I wanted to dive into my psyche to figure out why I think like this. I've never had a close relationship with my parents growing up.. maybe that's it. However, I really think it's that I'm fiercely independent and mature and I think I really seek that in a partner. Most women my age are still in the weekend partying, not settled in their career, and just a little too wild. After a crazy week at work, the last thing I want to do is go to a club until 2 in the morning. I'd rather pick up some pizza and watch a Netflix movie.
The hardest thing about hooking a mature women is getting her to take you seriously. But once I can do that, I'm in good shape. Question to the women, what would make you go for a guy who is 10-15 years younger than you?
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I'm not necessarily an older woman, but I've dated a few young guys (i.e., I was 29, he was 18.... by at least a week or two). It was fun. It was exciting. It was difficult to have a conversation since all of his social and pop culture references were from a completely different generation. The sex was good. The relationship fizzled quickly because he wanted to party and I wanted to well, not. It's possible, but it takes a young guy with a really good head on his shoulders to appreciate an older woman. I doubt I would date someone that much younger again. Even though I'll be 33 next week (please hold your birthday applause lol), I couldn't imagine dating someone who's 23. I, too, prefer older partners.0
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I wouldn't go 10-15 years younger myself because that would just feel or actually be illegal! :bigsmile:
I sometimes date younger guys (mid-20s) because it's fun and they're more open minded and less jaded than most of the guys I've dated with ex wives and children. They also don't treat me like a mom so it's a nice break from talking babies and marriage up front, which most divorced guys do with me for some reason. The young ones have not progressed into relationships because we're usually in two very different places in life and I don't have it in me to support someone while they're still trying to figure out who they are and where they're headed. That's just me.
Your situation is a little different though so I'm sure there's women on here who are in their late 30s-40s who can chime in. My advice would be to forget the age thing and just approach women with similar interests as you so they do take you seriously and you have something fun to share.0 -
Well .. I am 39 and currently dating a 25 year old. sigh. lol. It was hard for me to get past the initial .. "but you are 25" feeling. But, he was so sweet and thoughtful and honestly more mature than alot of men my freaking age. We did alot of texting and emailing at first and that is how I got to know him and to think that there could actually be something there. He just kept telling me that it wasn't a big deal. That girls his age played too many games and drank too much. That age is just a number.
Finally broke me down. lol. After he assured me that he thought of every possibility of our age difference that could/would come up and was ok with whatever happened.0 -
I don't find 10 to 15 years younger a big deal. Although I'm always suspicious if approached by anyone over 10 years younger on a dating site as I think their motive is purely sexual. Older women have better sex, allegedly! So yeah, you're right, I don't take them too seriously :huh:
The funny this is though, I mostly end up with younger guys as I'm considered wild!! :bigsmile: No tele and slippers for me on a Saturday night. I prefer to be out socialising, exploring life, watching football and getting drunk!! :bigsmile:
So, I guess like what we've always said on this forum, it depends on your life stage. If you explain you're a homely, nester type, then older women might take you more seriously IF that is what they want :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm going to be 46 pretty darn soon and I don't think age is a big issue. When I did the online dating thing, I was approached by quite a few younger guys. I always asked why an older woman (because I was genuinely curious)? Most of the them had similar reasons....older women were much more settled, there was a lot less drama and they were much more confident sexually. I always found that interesting.
I think as long as you are in similar places in your lives and can relate to each other on some level that age difference shouldn't be a big deal. Obviously if a younger guy who wants children dates an older woman who has kids in college...well, my guess is that's going to be a problem.
Then there is the issue of an older woman dating a younger guy who is close in age to her kids....that's not going to go over well AT ALL. :laugh:0 -
This post is really timely for me. I'm 35 and have been chatting with someone in his early 20s for a week or so and we're planning to meet soon. When he initially contacted me I turned him down TWICE because of the age thing. But he just kept writing (not in a creepy way) and was very sweet and cute, so I finally decided why not give it a chance? But realistically, I think we both already know that this won't be more than a fun fling or diversion from life for a little while - IF we even like each other past the first meeting.
That said, since the OP is 30 already I believe, it should be much easier for an older woman to take you seriously because you are at the 'settle down' point and I don't think it's very strange to be honest.0 -
eeeks.....I hate that I can answer question re: an older woman, but I am 40, so.......
I do pay attention to age, but 10 years younger Is ok...more like 30 and up is ok...I don't normally go for anyone under 30, HOWEVER, there was a guy at work that I had an interest in and he was 12 years younger, BUt as Anna said our "life stage" was similar....we were both working and back in school and both single with no children (he has never been married.)
I did date someone that was 30 over a year ago, and he was young acting but was divorced with 3 kids....and felt he missed his "chance to have fun" since he married young.
I will say that I rarely date anyone over 5 years older than me......too often, they have grandhildren......soooo not ready for that!!! I would much rather date the guys with young kids--that is ideal for me!0 -
I am 39 and currently date a 32yr old. I would say what hooked me was that he was setteled down into a career, didn't party on the regular like most his age. Also we have great communication there isn't anything we uncomfortable talking about with each other and talk daily about everything. Just taking time to know the other person and showing them what your about will go a long way.
Good Luck.0 -
This post is really timely for me. I'm 35 and have been chatting with someone in his early 20s for a week or so and we're planning to meet soon. When he initially contacted me I turned him down TWICE because of the age thing. But he just kept writing (not in a creepy way) and was very sweet and cute, so I finally decided why not give it a chance? But realistically, I think we both already know that this won't be more than a fun fling or diversion from life for a little while - IF we even like each other past the first meeting.
That said, since the OP is 30 already I believe, it should be much easier for an older woman to take you seriously because you are at the 'settle down' point and I don't think it's very strange to be honest.
PJ!!! Why am I just hearing about this NOW??? OMG!0 -
It might be because you live in the old people capital of the world.
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Well, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
I think there is also some truth to the theory that being with a younger person makes you feel younger. Older men like to date 20-year-old women because it makes them feel young and virile and studly. Older women like to date younger men because it makes them feel young and sexy and alive. Who doesn't want that?
But dating is one thing. If marriage is on your agenda, you have to consider whether or not you are headed in the same direction in life.0 -
This post is really timely for me. I'm 35 and have been chatting with someone in his early 20s for a week or so and we're planning to meet soon. When he initially contacted me I turned him down TWICE because of the age thing. But he just kept writing (not in a creepy way) and was very sweet and cute, so I finally decided why not give it a chance? But realistically, I think we both already know that this won't be more than a fun fling or diversion from life for a little while - IF we even like each other past the first meeting.
That said, since the OP is 30 already I believe, it should be much easier for an older woman to take you seriously because you are at the 'settle down' point and I don't think it's very strange to be honest.
PJ!!! Why am I just hearing about this NOW??? OMG!
Haha! Well, there hasn't been much to say. We've only been emailing and texting for a week, we haven't met yet.0 -
I went on a few dates with a 40 year old woman earlier this year... she was cool as hell. However I want kids and she is done with that so we thought it best not to pursue any further.
I think part of the attraction to older woman is because when we hit our prime these were the same woman that we were checking out.0 -
Id love to prove you wrong on this. All men are not created equal...and remember, young pups know so littleWell, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.0 -
Ha! Thank you Mike... :bigsmile:
I'm definitely torn on this. I've talked to the OP a little about my situation but I do have a 27 year old pursuing me pretty heavily right now. However, I think I'm interested in another guy that's close to my age. As far as my young friend - he keeps saying age doesn't matter and he doesn't want kids but will raise mine... I just think he's too young to make that decision. I feel like if I saddle someone down in their younger years there will be resentment later. Also... again, what happens when he's 42 and I'm 55? I feel like at that point he'll want someone younger an I'm basically setting myself up for another split/divorce. Yeah, I think long-term with everything because eventually one of these relationships will make it long term. It's just hard for me to digest... why someone hot and young would want an older woman. Hell, I'll be 40 here really soon - we have over a decade difference. We do share a lot of similar interests though... which is how we met and I tend to act pretty young. I don't know... I'm confused! LOL If it was just a "fling" I'd be into it, but he really, really wants something serious.0 -
Id love to prove you wrong on this. All men are not created equal...and remember, young pups know so littleWell, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
I agree... I actually think men in their late 30s are the best in bed... younger guys need a little more "guiding".0 -
Id love to prove you wrong on this. All men are not created equal...and remember, young pups know so littleWell, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
Have only ever been with older men, but the older I get the more I look at younger guys! I can't agree more about women over 30 and hormones, holy hell! I checked out this guy the other day and a friend told me he was 26, omg!! I thought that whole peak thing would die down a year or so after age 30 so maybe it's just the weight loss affecting me. Never paid attention to any man younger until the last 6 months or so and now....0 -
personally i prefer older women don't know always have when i was 23 i dated a lady who was 53 when i was 27 i dated a lady who was 59 older women are more mature and know what they want my ideal age for a woman is 42 i dated one of those when i was 22 it was great i'm 31 right now by the way0
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Id love to prove you wrong on this. All men are not created equal...and remember, young pups know so littleWell, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
Oh, I have a younger man who knows what to do.
But what I'm referring to is frequency. Guys in their 20s are basically walking erections, and to a woman who is at her sexual peak, it's like being a kid at FAO Schwarz.0 -
Im 32.
My favorite guys in the world have always been 3-5 years younger than me.0 -
Well, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
Agree on the 30 plus thing (or 27ish), but I actually think divorced men are where it's at in terms of skill and sex. They've already been bossed and coached a bit and have developed the necessary patience to get the job done.
I'd like to take a second to thank all the ex wives out there.
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I'd like to take a second to thank all the ex wives out there.
REALLY???0 -
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I'd like to take a second to thank all the ex wives out there.
REALLY???
Sarcasm (hence wink)--I'm an ex wife myself and thought that was obvious. But from dating both young guys with no marriage experience and guys who were married previously, the ones who were married before were better lovers and had the same endurance.0 -
Well, they've been coached how to satisfy one particular woman, but all women are a little bit different. Wouldn't you rather have someone who knew how to adapt to fit your particular needs?Well, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
Agree on the 30 plus thing (or 27ish), but I actually think divorced men are where it's at in terms of skill and sex. They've already been bossed and coached a bit and have developed the necessary patience to get the job done.
I'd like to take a second to thank all the ex wives out there.0 -
I don't think age is a major factor. I am 46 but I don't feel my age at all. I am always on the go and enjoy trying new things so a younger guy is often into the things I enjoy. I just think a couple needs to enjoy the same things and each other's company regardless of age.
The issue of children can be a problem since I don't want any more and younger men often want to start a family but that can be an issue with any relationship regardless of the age difference.0 -
Well, they've been coached how to satisfy one particular woman, but all women are a little bit different. Wouldn't you rather have someone who knew how to adapt to fit your particular needs?Well, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
Agree on the 30 plus thing (or 27ish), but I actually think divorced men are where it's at in terms of skill and sex. They've already been bossed and coached a bit and have developed the necessary patience to get the job done.
I'd like to take a second to thank all the ex wives out there.
They didn't seem to have a problem adapting, but I'm a good communicator so maybe that helps.0 -
Well, they've been coached how to satisfy one particular woman, but all women are a little bit different. Wouldn't you rather have someone who knew how to adapt to fit your particular needs?
Well, sure, but I can say that just based on my past experience, men that are single for a long time tend to be more selfish and in it for what they can get rather than worried about my needs. Not saying all men are like that, but just the long-term single ones I've been with.... Now one who was really looking for something real would probably be more concerned with what pleases me, but too many men (people) are out there having fun so it's easy to focus on what they want and not their partner...0 -
Well, they've been coached how to satisfy one particular woman, but all women are a little bit different. Wouldn't you rather have someone who knew how to adapt to fit your particular needs?Well, let's just get this out of the way. Women get significantly more horny after the age of 30, and young men are better able to fill certain needs than older ones.
Agree on the 30 plus thing (or 27ish), but I actually think divorced men are where it's at in terms of skill and sex. They've already been bossed and coached a bit and have developed the necessary patience to get the job done.
I'd like to take a second to thank all the ex wives out there.
Not only do I agree with this, but would also add as soon as the kids came out they probably hardly got any at all!! Date a porn star if you want someone with experience and variety, lol.0 -
I am turning 40 this year and I wouldnt have a problem dating a man 10-15 yrs my jr. My theory is as long as I can buy him a beer (legally) and he does not act like a childish imbecile, I am cool. But there would for sure have to be mutual interests other than sex to make me want to spend time with him.0
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Poncho .. you look like this guy ..
http://www.people.com/people/gallery/0,,20604227,00.html#211741970
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