Hey guys, what would you think if...
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If I'm home alone and go do something like go for a run, I let someone know either by a text or leaving a note.
That's really cool. Reminds me of that movie (based on a true story) where the guy got stuck in a canyon and had to cut his arm off!! He was rather annoyed with himself for not telling anyone where he was going :noway:
That was such a great movie!0 -
What about same scenario, 4th or 5th date, being somewhere alone together and the girl asking for a last name?
Wtf? You're on the 4th date and you don't even know his/her last name? Am I missing something here?
I'll give you the first "date," over coffee, keep it a bit non-committal and aloof. OK. But after that, cut the paranoia and get on with things. It's a name, what's the issue?
I had a friend who was going on a 4th date with a guy last month. They met online. He offered to make him dinner and invited him over. She asked his last name and he called her a paranoid b$*%h and cancelled the date.
Married
Long prison record
Psycho killer
Pick one. It's one of those. I can't think of any other reason someone would freak out over a last name. I suppose he could have just lied, though. So my guess is married.0 -
What about same scenario, 4th or 5th date, being somewhere alone together and the girl asking for a last name?
Wtf? You're on the 4th date and you don't even know his/her last name? Am I missing something here?
I'll give you the first "date," over coffee, keep it a bit non-committal and aloof. OK. But after that, cut the paranoia and get on with things. It's a name, what's the issue?
I had a friend who was going on a 4th date with a guy last month. They met online. He offered to make him dinner and invited him over. She asked his last name and he called her a paranoid b$*%h and cancelled the date.
If a guy won't give me his surname on our FIRST date I dont meet him!!
Chat on the phone a couple of times
Arrange to meet
"Oh, whats your name? Mine is Anna Pxxxxxx"
By the fouth date I've probably seen his passport!! :laugh: Just kiddin (although that did happen once but we were playing around; I thought he was older and he thought I was younger, so we had to prove it!! lol)0 -
Can't I just cut the *kitten* and date you instead?If she asks this, then, before replying, first, I would ask her what kind of sauce she normally put on her pastas.
Then, before replying to her questions, I'd ask for the exact same information I am supposed give. You give, you take.
And since I'm sure she would freak out ("Why? Are you going to stalk me or something?!"), I would tell her that I had just sharpened my knives and it would be a shame to waste such a beautiful effort, so in case she cancels the date, I need to know her address to cut her in small cubes and put her in my freezer.
However, since I'm not that bad, I will try to accommodate her to the best of my ability with her favourite sauce.
Clearly people who think that everyone is a psycho have got issues anyway.
Best reply. And well earned if she's really that paranoid!0 -
I would tell someone who I'm with and where and when I'm supposed to be back home. Then I'd call/text my friend when I got home. If I was murdered none of that would matter.
If in doubt, I'd just leave the date.
I was once married to a really messed up guy, so I know there are some very scary people out there. Men & women!
Even buying stuff off craigslist creeps me out. I ended up buying a vacuum from somebody, but chose one that was in a business shop, because I was creeped out to go to someone's house alone...0 -
Yes there are horror stories out there but it really boils down to the law of probability and what I try to use as a gauge about worrying over things.
Is it possible that tomorrow driving to the golf course a log truck will lose control and the last thing to go through my mind is the grill of a Peterbilt?...yes.
Is it probable?...no.
So live your life accordingly and be a lot happier.0 -
Cheers.Yes there are horror stories out there but it really boils down to the law of probability and what I try to use as a gauge about worrying over things.
Is it possible that tomorrow driving to the golf course a log truck will lose control and the last thing to go through my mind is the grill of a Peterbilt?...yes.
Is it probable?...no.
So live your life accordingly and be a lot happier.
It's like never riding a bike because you know that one day you could be hit by a car and killed.
Or never training for a race, because one day you'll likely suffer an injury.
Or never trying human flesh because you don't want to develop a taste for it.... I mean...
People need to just live life knowing that there will always be some level of risk. Managing what risks we accept to maximize personal happiness and fulfillment is what each of us have to decide for ourselves. But yea, don't expect other people to accommodate requests for police checks to placate your issues. That's your problem - not theirs. And as a perfect stranger, they don't owe you anything.
My general rule of thumb is that no stranger is worth that kind of time/effort. I'd just move on to the next online profile, TBH.0 -
my simple answer to this question is if you are ready to be alone with someone but still am not sure they are a psycho killer, then maybe you're not really ready to be alone with them. nothing wrong with getting to know someone over coffee at starbucks, bowling, movies, dinner, etc until you know them enough to know they dont want to kill you and eat your kidneys0
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One other thing and I know it is off topic but ladies also do need to understand that the thinking they would fight off an attacker is wrong,you will not.
It may be sexist but so what...the fact is that 90% of the male population will easily over power you and thinking otherwise puts you at risk.
Yes I know this seems like I am saying two different things but am not.
Ladies,be careful but also understand you have to trust.
Guys,if you are interested in her as a partner then make sure she knows it and also protect yourself from someone that has buyers remorse and accuses you of something terrible.0 -
Still interested in this subject, so I did a little research. While looking up safe online dating tips, I found out that some dating websites are more likely than others to screen members. There is at least one that will do a full background check. Not mentioning the name of it, because hey, I don't work for them, and I know nothing else about the site, and I get the feeling that it would be out of my price range anyway. But I'll keep looking, since there may be others just as good or nearly.
So now I wonder, are free dating sites less safe than paid ones? But I can't find a reliable top ten safest dating sites list or anything definitive on paid versus free sites as far as safety goes. I would like to think that someone with criminal behavior in mind wouldn't want to go to the bother of giving fake info to pay for access to a site or go to the bother of stealing that info and wouldn't be careless enough to use their real credit card. Or most wouldn't, anyway. But since a lot of paid sites have free trials, that isn't necessarily going to guarantee anything. Unless the free trial was only available with payment info. Maybe then.
Time to do more research. I know it's impossible to be completely safe. I also know the odds are in my favor no matter how careless I am. But why not take any sensible precaution available?0 -
One other thing and I know it is off topic but ladies also do need to understand that the thinking they would fight off an attacker is wrong,you will not.
It may be sexist but so what...the fact is that 90% of the male population will easily over power you and thinking otherwise puts you at risk.
Yes I know this seems like I am saying two different things but am not.
Ladies,be careful but also understand you have to trust.
Guys,if you are interested in her as a partner then make sure she knows it and also protect yourself from someone that has buyers remorse and accuses you of something terrible.
There's something possibly even more important than size and strength. If I've learned anything from open world pvp games, it's that the aggressor has a huge advantage over the defender.
At least when I'm out walking I can cross the street if I see someone coming or otherwise avoid close contact. But on a date, close contact is part of the fun.
On tonight's walk I met nothing more scary than a poodle. Although it was a standard poodle. It didn't seem predatory, however. But maybe it was playing it cool hoping to lure me to a more private location. One never knows. Those cutesy bows on its ears might have been a fiendish attempt to put me at my ease. :laugh:0 -
Good news is that, given the current economy, most guys would see fault in spreading your parts over 4 countries. They would most likely save money and dump you somewhere convenient....then start dating your sister.0
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Good news is that, given the current economy, most guys would see fault in spreading your parts over 4 countries. They would most likely save money and dump you somewhere convenient....then start dating your sister.
:laugh: Darn gas prices. I didn't think about that.0 -
What about same scenario, 4th or 5th date, being somewhere alone together and the girl asking for a last name?
Wtf? You're on the 4th date and you don't even know his/her last name? Am I missing something here?
I'll give you the first "date," over coffee, keep it a bit non-committal and aloof. OK. But after that, cut the paranoia and get on with things. It's a name, what's the issue?
I had a friend who was going on a 4th date with a guy last month. They met online. He offered to make him dinner and invited him over. She asked his last name and he called her a paranoid b$*%h and cancelled the date.
Married
Long prison record
Psycho killer
Pick one. It's one of those. I can't think of any other reason someone would freak out over a last name. I suppose he could have just lied, though. So my guess is married.
For sure - he knew she'd be looking him up online and find out one of those 3 things is true. Or he's on those websites warning women that he's a total loser.0 -
For sure - he knew she'd be looking him up online and find out one of those 3 things is true. Or he's on those websites warning women that he's a total loser.
You mean Facebook? *runs off to see if there are sites actually dedicated to warning people away from losers, preferably with pictures*0 -
For sure - he knew she'd be looking him up online and find out one of those 3 things is true. Or he's on those websites warning women that he's a total loser.
You mean Facebook? *runs off to see if there are sites actually dedicated to warning people away from losers, preferably with pictures*
The girl my ex-BF cheated on me with put him on all those! HAHAHA - he sure picked a good one!
filthyliar.com
reportyourex.com
datingpsychos.com
dontdatehimgirl.com
liarscheatersrus.com
there's more but I don't remember them all. And yes, some have pictures!0 -
For sure - he knew she'd be looking him up online and find out one of those 3 things is true. Or he's on those websites warning women that he's a total loser.
You mean Facebook? *runs off to see if there are sites actually dedicated to warning people away from losers, preferably with pictures*
The girl my ex-BF cheated on me with put him on all those! HAHAHA - he sure picked a good one!
filthyliar.com
reportyourex.com
datingpsychos.com
dontdatehimgirl.com
liarscheatersrus.com
there's more but I don't remember them all. And yes, some have pictures!
Oh dammn....looks for his pic online...0 -
For sure - he knew she'd be looking him up online and find out one of those 3 things is true. Or he's on those websites warning women that he's a total loser.
You mean Facebook? *runs off to see if there are sites actually dedicated to warning people away from losers, preferably with pictures*
The girl my ex-BF cheated on me with put him on all those! HAHAHA - he sure picked a good one!
filthyliar.com
reportyourex.com
datingpsychos.com
dontdatehimgirl.com
liarscheatersrus.com
there's more but I don't remember them all. And yes, some have pictures!
Thanks! This is going to be some fun reading. Wonder if any of my exes are on there?0 -
By the 4th or 5th public date I pretty much have an idea of who the person is...but I do always make sure someone knows where I am - a simple text lets them know whats going on....
Although my ex was totally normal until 6 months into your relationship... and then he turned into a raging psycho... and still stalks me even though we broke up 5 years ago...0 -
Still interested in this subject, so I did a little research. While looking up safe online dating tips, I found out that some dating websites are more likely than others to screen members. There is at least one that will do a full background check. Not mentioning the name of it, because hey, I don't work for them, and I know nothing else about the site, and I get the feeling that it would be out of my price range anyway. But I'll keep looking, since there may be others just as good or nearly.
So now I wonder, are free dating sites less safe than paid ones? But I can't find a reliable top ten safest dating sites list or anything definitive on paid versus free sites as far as safety goes. I would like to think that someone with criminal behavior in mind wouldn't want to go to the bother of giving fake info to pay for access to a site or go to the bother of stealing that info and wouldn't be careless enough to use their real credit card. Or most wouldn't, anyway. But since a lot of paid sites have free trials, that isn't necessarily going to guarantee anything. Unless the free trial was only available with payment info. Maybe then.
Time to do more research. I know it's impossible to be completely safe. I also know the odds are in my favor no matter how careless I am. But why not take any sensible precaution available?
Criminals are amongst the richest people in the world! Even small time crims have more money than I do!! They also have a choice of C/Cs and IDs!!
Like I said, if someone is seriously out to get ya, they will! But thankfully, most people are only loony, pervy, lying, cheating b*******!! :laugh:0 -
Exactly, so the whole topic boils down to: what is your/their definition of "sensible".I know it's impossible to be completely safe. I also know the odds are in my favor no matter how careless I am. But why not take any sensible precaution available?
Is the man going to accept the same level of "sensible" precaution you are asking? Some will think your requests are sensible, some won't.
I suspect it is a good thing if you meet a man that accepts your requests, this means you are compatible on some levels, and that you think the same about this (non-)issue.0 -
honestly if that happend, I would give it to her, then GIVE it to her then never speak to her again...0
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Still interested in this subject, so I did a little research. While looking up safe online dating tips, I found out that some dating websites are more likely than others to screen members. There is at least one that will do a full background check. Not mentioning the name of it, because hey, I don't work for them, and I know nothing else about the site, and I get the feeling that it would be out of my price range anyway. But I'll keep looking, since there may be others just as good or nearly.
So now I wonder, are free dating sites less safe than paid ones? But I can't find a reliable top ten safest dating sites list or anything definitive on paid versus free sites as far as safety goes. I would like to think that someone with criminal behavior in mind wouldn't want to go to the bother of giving fake info to pay for access to a site or go to the bother of stealing that info and wouldn't be careless enough to use their real credit card. Or most wouldn't, anyway. But since a lot of paid sites have free trials, that isn't necessarily going to guarantee anything. Unless the free trial was only available with payment info. Maybe then.
Time to do more research. I know it's impossible to be completely safe. I also know the odds are in my favor no matter how careless I am. But why not take any sensible precaution available?
A friend of mine married a guy she met on eharmony. Which she paid to be on..
He's an abusive psycho. She's trying really hard to get away from him now.
Paying for the site doesn't make you safe. There are freaks on those sites too.
and there seem to be enough freaks out trolling the net these days to warrant being a little paranoid.0 -
By the 4th or 5th public date I pretty much have an idea of who the person is...but I do always make sure someone knows where I am - a simple text lets them know whats going on....
Although my ex was totally normal until 6 months into your relationship... and then he turned into a raging psycho... and still stalks me even though we broke up 5 years ago...
That's horrible and it's why I'm wary about being easily identified anywhere on line. It's true people can snap at any time. Not much one can do about it.
@smantha Funny you mention that, I found an eharmony complaint site last night that really makes me wonder how they get away with charging and promising so much and delivering so little. Along with psycho stories, there are also a lot of scammers using the site. You know the ones, they start off telling you that you are their 'solemate', complete with poetry laced with misspellings and bad grammar, then they move on to telling you they need you to send them money so they can get their passport.
Although I did stumble on a new email scam last night that made me giggle. Now the scammers are threatening to kill people. They're basically saying someone put a hit out on you and they're the ones who are supposed to kill you, but since they feel so terribly bad for you, if you send them money, they'll call off the hit!
Ah, the inventiveness of online scammers, will it never cease?0 -
Criminals are amongst the richest people in the world! Even small time crims have more money than I do!! They also have a choice of C/Cs and IDs!!
Like I said, if someone is seriously out to get ya, they will! But thankfully, most people are only loony, pervy, lying, cheating b*******!! :laugh:
Ain't that the truth. Steal a wallet, you're a crook, steal a country, you're a patriot.
And there are a lot of dead Craigslist hookers who probably thought they were perfectly safe getting calls to come to the pricier parts of Long Island. Not sure, but I don't think they've caught him yet, either. Goes to show, nowhere is safe.0 -
By the 4th or 5th public date I pretty much have an idea of who the person is...but I do always make sure someone knows where I am - a simple text lets them know whats going on....
Although my ex was totally normal until 6 months into your relationship... and then he turned into a raging psycho... and still stalks me even though we broke up 5 years ago...
That's horrible and it's why I'm wary about being easily identified anywhere on line. It's true people can snap at any time. Not much one can do about it.
@smantha Funny you mention that, I found an eharmony complaint site last night that really makes me wonder how they get away with charging and promising so much and delivering so little. Along with psycho stories, there are also a lot of scammers using the site. You know the ones, they start off telling you that you are their 'solemate', complete with poetry laced with misspellings and bad grammar, then they move on to telling you they need you to send them money so they can get their passport.
Although I did stumble on a new email scam last night that made me giggle. Now the scammers are threatening to kill people. They're basically saying someone put a hit out on you and they're the ones who are supposed to kill you, but since they feel so terribly bad for you, if you send them money, they'll call off the hit!
Ah, the inventiveness of online scammers, will it never cease?
What's the URL of that complaint site? I'd like to read it.
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http://paulyhart.blogspot.com/2009/01/massive-list-of-eharmonycom-horror.html
There are also lots of others, including complaints to Consumer Affairs. This happens to be the one I stumbled on last night.
Here's another interesting one, but not sure how reliable the story is. From a supposed past employee of the site:
http://consumerist.com/2006/03/confessions-of-a-former-eharmony-worker.html0 -
http://paulyhart.blogspot.com/2009/01/massive-list-of-eharmonycom-horror.html
There are also lots of others, including complaints to Consumer Affairs. This happens to be the one I stumbled on last night.
Here's another interesting one, but not sure how reliable the story is. From a supposed past employee of the site:
http://consumerist.com/2006/03/confessions-of-a-former-eharmony-worker.html
oo.. i might be reading for awhile. lol0 -
I agree with Carl. I would not be on a 4th or 5th date with a man if I didn't feel comfortable being alone with him.0
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I've gone on a lot of Internet dates and I guess I've been super lucky (probably because I'm also super picky on who I respond to) in that none of them have been psychos so far. By date four or five I'm normally comfortable enough to alone time at someone's place, and sometimes before that. I gauge it on the person and the connection. I have a hard time opening up to people, so if things have gone well enough that there is a fourth or fifth date, then that generally means we are both comfortable with each other. I think there comes a point that you have to trust others and your instincts.0
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