Women, would you date a man that weighed less than you?
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NCTravellingGirl
Posts: 717 Member
My friend at work met someone off POF and has been with him now about 6 months very happily. She feels compelled to set me up with his friends. I've avoided it as long as I could because quite frankly, he's a little blue collar for my taste (truck driver) as are his friends. I know that sounds horrible, but it's just not been a good fit for me. Anyway, Tuesday she came to me with a friend of his who is 41 (I'm 36), single, and works here where I live. She said he was the nicest guy ever, talks a lot, and the last part was that he was super skinny.
Right away, I was turned off by that. When I was heavier, I didn't think about it because I was bigger than most guys, but that's not true any longer so honestly I rather LIKE the idea of not being the bigger of the two.
So I checked him out on facebook, and he's SO not my type with the Harley, handlebar mustache, bandana around his head, and old stone washed light Levis...and he's SUPER skinny! She wasn't kidding!
Most of my friends agree that it's not a fit, one tells me I need practice dating so what's the harm, I just can't even imagine where we'd go except maybe Walmart (which is what he listed as his favorite store on Facebook?? WTH?)...
So I'm wondering? Have you ever dated a man smaller than you (women) or a woman larger than you (guys)?? Would you? How do you, um, handle things?? Just curious...
Right away, I was turned off by that. When I was heavier, I didn't think about it because I was bigger than most guys, but that's not true any longer so honestly I rather LIKE the idea of not being the bigger of the two.
So I checked him out on facebook, and he's SO not my type with the Harley, handlebar mustache, bandana around his head, and old stone washed light Levis...and he's SUPER skinny! She wasn't kidding!
Most of my friends agree that it's not a fit, one tells me I need practice dating so what's the harm, I just can't even imagine where we'd go except maybe Walmart (which is what he listed as his favorite store on Facebook?? WTH?)...
So I'm wondering? Have you ever dated a man smaller than you (women) or a woman larger than you (guys)?? Would you? How do you, um, handle things?? Just curious...
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I have.
When we met he was 6'2 and 150 and I was 5'9 and 170 and it never was an issue.0 -
I'm not typically drawn to men that are smaller than me, however....you never know.
My last LTR was with a guy that had broken his back while riding motocross so he was wheelchair-bound. He's technically 6'4" but sat about 5'. Also, he weighed less because he was naturally skinny and then basically had not a lot of muscle left in his legs. His upper body though.... OMG -- INSANE. So it worked.
Don't discount anyone because of size... you just never know.0 -
i've only dated one guy who weighed more than me. the guys that tend to date weigh less and look tall and lanky but are still crazy strong and able to pick me up. i'm also crazy strong as well and have been able to give every guy i've seriously dated a piggy back ride. they get a kick out of that, i guess everyone likes feeling dainty and lady like every so often, even the fellas.
as long as i can steal his jeans and tshirts and he can sweep me up into his arms when necessary then i dont care :laugh:0 -
My ex always weighed less than me. I can't say it didn't bother me sometimes, but I never blamed him. I wouldn't discount someone on account of weighing less than me but I would prefer to my man to be taller and weigh more. Just helps make me feel more womanly, especially since I have muscles.
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I'm pretty sure most of the men I've dated weighed less than me...lol but then again I was BIG before...
Now that I'm around 215ish I'd like to date someone around my wt..but the reality is I'm still on the overwt side. What I don't like and never liked is a super skinny guy or a short guy. Size in a man. ie atleast taller than me..makes me feel more feminine despite my wt. For example that guy I met around Xmas time is pretty much the man I still fantasize about..6'2" and had lost about 60lbs before we met..still a bigger guy though nice shoulders and arms but still a belly. He made me feel small and feminine and not worry about my "wobbly bits" lol. I felt surrounded by him. First time I felt like that with a man..and I'm alittle terrified it will be the last.0 -
In my past relationship I was 135 he was 185 and then it switched lol... I was 195 he was 170... It bothered me because I looked like a giant balloon next to him and I knew that when I tried to get on his back he would have a pain look on his face lol ... So yea... I'm not sure but I would like someone who weighs more than me.0
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I have never dated someone smaller then me weight wise but I have dated guys my height(5'7"). I am a confident person but I am insecure with my weight to date someone smaller. I am attracted to guys who are fit or a little overweight.0
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I'm pretty sure most of the men I've dated weighed less than me...lol but then again I was BIG before...
Now that I'm around 215ish I'd like to date someone around my wt..but the reality is I'm still on the overwt side. What I don't like and never liked is a super skinny guy or a short guy. Size in a man. ie atleast taller than me..makes me feel more feminine despite my wt. For example that guy I met around Xmas time is pretty much the man I still fantasize about..6'2" and had lost about 60lbs before we met..still a bigger guy though nice shoulders and arms but still a belly. He made me feel small and feminine and not worry about my "wobbly bits" lol. I felt surrounded by him. First time I felt like that with a man..and I'm alittle terrified it will be the last.
I agree with this so much Kerry, which is why I passed on the date. Well, that and the handlebar mustache, haha... But the REALLY important question,..what happened with the guy you met around Christmas?! :bigsmile:0 -
my ex was always smaller than me once i started having kids...... there might have been one or two years where that wasn't the case, but i know after baby #3 on he weighed about 20 lbs less.... at least.
i would prefer a guy that is bigger. taller, weighs more, than me.0 -
In my past relationship I was 135 he was 185 and then it switched lol... I was 195 he was 170... It bothered me because I looked like a giant balloon next to him and I knew that when I tried to get on his back he would have a pain look on his face lol ... So yea... I'm not sure but I would like someone who weighs more than me.
yeah i've seen that look before :laugh: more so when i was last at my goal weight. i'm large framed so i tend to look like i weigh 20-30 pounds less than i do. back when i was 140 (and looked 115/120) guys would underestimate and not be ready for all that jelly0 -
I'm pretty sure most of the men I've dated weighed less than me...lol but then again I was BIG before...
Now that I'm around 215ish I'd like to date someone around my wt..but the reality is I'm still on the overwt side. What I don't like and never liked is a super skinny guy or a short guy. Size in a man. ie atleast taller than me..makes me feel more feminine despite my wt. For example that guy I met around Xmas time is pretty much the man I still fantasize about..6'2" and had lost about 60lbs before we met..still a bigger guy though nice shoulders and arms but still a belly. He made me feel small and feminine and not worry about my "wobbly bits" lol. I felt surrounded by him. First time I felt like that with a man..and I'm alittle terrified it will be the last.
I agree with this so much Kerry, which is why I passed on the date. Well, that and the handlebar mustache, haha... But the REALLY important question,..what happened with the guy you met around Christmas?! :bigsmile:
lol Sadly nothing..it was really great chemistry, the way he looked at me made me feel ect and then boom after the holidays less communication and I called him out via text he said he had just gotten out of a relationship in the summer and wasn't ready for a relationship and he felt that would be where it was heading..(he didn't discuss it with me..So I'm not sure if that's "i'm just not that into you excuse)..he had somethings about him that I normally would not have considered ideal for me (career just starting, 2 kids with different mothers) but he was great. I'm betting his shacking up with some other girl right now lol..But in the long run it was a very short time to know him,we did not become intimate but I actually fell a little in love and he didn't ces la vi. Really the strongest physical connection I've ever felt with anyone ever and it was never consummated lol that TOTALLY sucks:(0 -
I went out on a date with a guy skinnier than me. It made me feel twice as big. I like a man with some meat on his bones anyhow.0
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At 5'4" and 145lb, I am more than open to girls heavier and/or taller.0
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The issue of his weight/size is something you have contrived in your mind to find cause for the fact that his overall lifestyle does not appeal to you.0
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The issue of his weight/size is something you have contrived in your mind to find cause for the fact that his overall lifestyle does not appeal to you.
I understand your point, Carl, and you're absolutely correct. I have no interest in this guy, not even remotely. But I chose to ask the question even though I've passed on the opportunity because I realized I've been doing the same thing online. Every guy listing himself as Slender, I don't even read the profile, I move on even though in some cases, he'll list himself as interested in women above average.. So I wondered how anyone else feels about it 0 -
I've been out with this guy a couple of times. I'm 5'4 and 135 and he's 5'11 and 130 (all muscle).
We went to my lake a couple of days ago, and I felt SO self conscious at first.. He looks all lean and I still have excess fat, skin and stretchmarks on my legs. But seeing the way he looked at me made it feel better and made me realize that this thing I've been agonizing over hadn't crossed his mind at all.
I completely understand being uncomfortable with it. We naturally want to feel small and feminine and it's hard to do that if we weigh more than the person we're with. I think it's a matter of becoming comfortable enough in your own skin so that you don't compare yourself to others.. Especially to the guy that you're seeing.0 -
I went out on a date with a guy skinnier than me. It made me feel twice as big. I like a man with some meat on his bones anyhow.
I really want a man who is broader than me. Around him I feel feminine and trim. I know I'm not tiny, but it's nice to feel like a woman properly sized for her man.
The funny thing is, most guys that are attracted to me are thin as a rail. When I hug them, I feel like Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog. This has nothing to do with him... it's all about ME and how *I* feel. It's hard to move beyond platonic with someone when hugging him feels like I'm hugging my son.
Around here it seems like the bigger guys end up with tiny girls, and vice versa, so that "like attracts like" saying must not apply to Louisiana.0 -
I couldn't.
I am self-conscious enough as it is, let alone feeling like I'm going to crush a man.
There are a ton of very skinny, petite girls so it's not like I'm dooming him forever.
But I want to feel like a woman in a relationship, you know? Not the big one.0 -
The issue of his weight/size is something you have contrived in your mind to find cause for the fact that his overall lifestyle does not appeal to you.
I understand your point, Carl, and you're absolutely correct. I have no interest in this guy, not even remotely. But I chose to ask the question even though I've passed on the opportunity because I realized I've been doing the same thing online. Every guy listing himself as Slender, I don't even read the profile, I move on even though in some cases, he'll list himself as interested in women above average.. So I wondered how anyone else feels about it
I wouldn't meet a guy if I knew there was no chance of me liking him - I don't think it's fair to the guy. I wouldn't pass on guys because they were thinner either. If for you it's always a turn off, then I think you are wise to continue to avoid.0 -
I went out on a date with a guy skinnier than me. It made me feel twice as big. I like a man with some meat on his bones anyhow.
I really want a man who is broader than me. Around him I feel feminine and trim. I know I'm not tiny, but it's nice to feel like a woman properly sized for her man.
The funny thing is, most guys that are attracted to me are thin as a rail. When I hug them, I feel like Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog. This has nothing to do with him... it's all about ME and how *I* feel. It's hard to move beyond platonic with someone when hugging him feels like I'm hugging my son.
Around here it seems like the bigger guys end up with tiny girls, and vice versa, so that "like attracts like" saying must not apply to Louisiana.
but but Missy Piggy and Kermit are such a cute couple! :laugh:
I totally get it though. Gives us bigger guys hope is all.
I personally wouldn't want to be thin myself. I'm 6'3 and my doctor says I should be 175-190. I think he is crazy. I am shooting for 200-220 range.0 -
I dont crush on skinny guys, but most of my b/fs have been skinny/slim/fit. Not too sure if they weighed more as I'm short, so that's not really an issue, as they are all much taller than me.
The thing with this guy is that the you're not attracted to the whole package, so I wouldnt go on a date with him, no!
But please dont discount guys just because of their physique because there is a whole person in there that might be your perfect match! :flowerforyou:0 -
I dont crush on skinny guys, but most of my b/fs have been skinny/slim/fit. Not too sure if they weighed more as I'm short, so that's not really an issue, as they are all much taller than me.
The thing with this guy is that the you're not attracted to the whole package, so I wouldnt go on a date with him, no!
But please dont discount guys just because of their physique because there is a whole person in there that might be your perfect match! :flowerforyou:
I understand completely, Anna, and am actually much the same way. I also avoid really buff guys naturally more due to lack of confidence, but my last bf was in the gym 6 days a week and it SHOWED. So I wouldn't say I discount guys who don't look like I think they should, I'm just not naturally going to be attracted. He can win me over with personality, etc... my last crush was 6'4" and couldn't even be 200 lbs... what everyone at work called Lanky, but he was sweetie. I'm a sucker for a sarcastic guy that makes me laugh.. and that trumps size/ weight every time!0 -
But please dont discount guys just because of their physique because there is a whole person in there that might be your perfect match! :flowerforyou:
I am definitely one of those girls who can be won over by personality even if the looks aren't awesome (has happened to me before), but I've found that men resent it if you aren't burning for them quickly. They want you to think they're hot. And I don't blame them, because I want my future partner to think I'm hot too.
At first they were happy that this awesome beautiful girl likes being around THEM but after awhile the fact that they didn't do it for me physically made both of those guys angry. My stance was, you knew you weren't "my type" when we first started hanging out, and I was ok with that to see if their personality would eventually me over. Their stance was, "I thought you only said that to keep me out of your pants...and I'd never hang out with a girl I didn't find hot"
So now if I'm not attracted physically I don't even waste either of our time...which is really too bad because several women I know are similar in that they can be won over by personality.0 -
But please dont discount guys just because of their physique because there is a whole person in there that might be your perfect match! :flowerforyou:
I am definitely one of those girls who can be won over by personality even if the looks aren't awesome (has happened to me before), but I've found that men resent it if you aren't burning for them quickly. They want you to think they're hot. And I don't blame them, because I want my future partner to think I'm hot too.
At first they were happy that this awesome beautiful girl likes being around THEM but after awhile the fact that they didn't do it for me physically made both of those guys angry. My stance was, you knew you weren't "my type" when we first started hanging out, and I was ok with that to see if their personality would eventually me over. Their stance was, "I thought you only said that to keep me out of your pants...and I'd never hang out with a girl I didn't find hot"
So now if I'm not attracted physically I don't even waste either of our time...which is really too bad because several women I know are similar in that they can be won over by personality.
Hmmm! I guess they felt used?? I dont think I would keep someone around me just to see if they grew on me. I think I would have to have a little 'something' going on right from the beginning.
For example, I met this guy on match. We got on really well but he was so skinny I didnt actually fancy him. So we never met again. BUT he called me all the time and we became good friends. And eventually, through getting to know him, I started to fancy him. But it wasn't in any kind of 'dating' situation. And then when i told him I started to fancy him, he said he didnt feel the same :laugh: Story of my life........ :laugh: However.............
I kinda get confused with Americans and their hanging out and dating scene anyhow.....lol.... I think we do it differently here :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm a victim of society, so I only date thin, tall women (I'm 5'11'' so I mean 5'7''+)... I've got a large frame (some muscles and a bit of extra fat), so I think even though they are tall, these women feel "womanly" (also because they are thin).Have you ever dated a man smaller than you (women) or a woman larger than you (guys)?? Would you? How do you, um, handle things?? Just curious...
I really don't know why, but being with a shorter girl really bothers me. It feels like I'm going out with my little sister, or a child or something :laugh: . I know most women want a taller man, but luckily for me at this size (5'7'+') they aren't too demanding since it's more difficult every additional inch to find a man taller than them - so they are content with a man just slightly taller or about their size.
Never really dated a woman larger than me though (and wouldn't have a few years back), but I would be really open to it these days. But maybe a woman as tall as me and larger than me wouldn't be attracted to me then... So maybe this is why I've never "pulled" one.0 -
*Sigh* This has always been my issue, even when I was fit. I am 5'9 and when I was in HS I weighed around 170, played sports year round and had a lot of muscle. My boyfriend at the time was also 5'9 and probably weighed 150 soaking wet. Then there is my son's father who is also 5'9 and weighs around 175. I attract shorter, skinny guys. I have never been able to figure that out.0
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I wouldn't be interested in dating a woman heavier than me. But then again I am 6'4 and weigh 309. Appearance would be a part of it but more than that I don't see how a woman could be very active at that weight.
I find this topic interesting as the consensus seems to be that the women are a little self conscious and seem to feel more feminine when with a larger guy. I wonder if this is particular to this group - a group of ladies who have/had weight issues and are trying to improve upon them, or if it is true to all women. I have noticed in my life that is has primarily been heavier girls who have been attracted to me (my guess would be it's a 4 to 1 ratio). Even when I was very athletic and had a very low body fat percentage.
A girl at my last high school reunion recalled a story about being at a party one time. She saw a skinny girl being picked up by a guy talking to her and said to me something like, I am so glad I am big enough that no one can do that to me. Apparently I picked her up and carried around the room for about 10 minutes, just talking to people and drinking a beer. She told me that as terrifying as it was, that it was her favorite moment in high school. It was the first time in her life she didn't feel grtotesquely large.0 -
But please dont discount guys just because of their physique because there is a whole person in there that might be your perfect match! :flowerforyou:
I am definitely one of those girls who can be won over by personality even if the looks aren't awesome (has happened to me before), but I've found that men resent it if you aren't burning for them quickly. They want you to think they're hot. And I don't blame them, because I want my future partner to think I'm hot too.
At first they were happy that this awesome beautiful girl likes being around THEM but after awhile the fact that they didn't do it for me physically made both of those guys angry. My stance was, you knew you weren't "my type" when we first started hanging out, and I was ok with that to see if their personality would eventually me over. Their stance was, "I thought you only said that to keep me out of your pants...and I'd never hang out with a girl I didn't find hot"
So now if I'm not attracted physically I don't even waste either of our time...which is really too bad because several women I know are similar in that they can be won over by personality.
I so had this happen, a guy asked me to be his friend on POF..and I knew right away I was not attracted but he had a great sense of humour and so I said sure...Well even though I was very specific about needing a partner who could do similar activities with me to be in a romantic relationship..he assumed because we laughed together I would be overcome by lust for him. NOPE Still totally unattractive physically nice guy and whould have enjoyed having him as a friend. He was completely pissed off that he couldn't charm the pants off of me. I know myself I know what I like or atleast what I don't. Be upfront about what you really want. I am.0 -
I really want a man who is broader than me. Around him I feel feminine and trim. I know I'm not tiny, but it's nice to feel like a woman properly sized for her man.
The funny thing is, most guys that are attracted to me are thin as a rail. When I hug them, I feel like Miss Piggy and Kermit the Frog. This has nothing to do with him... it's all about ME and how *I* feel. It's hard to move beyond platonic with someone when hugging him feels like I'm hugging my son.
Around here it seems like the bigger guys end up with tiny girls, and vice versa, so that "like attracts like" saying must not apply to Louisiana.
JJ, I hugged you and I felt like I was hugging a woman! LOL you always describe yourself as an NFL linebacker and that's not the case. We perceive ourselves as way bigger than we really are! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm about 5'3 130 i would have a really hard time dating a guy smaller than me. I would have a hard time feeling girly around smaller than me.0
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