Needing Courage Part Two
kimi131
Posts: 1,058 Member
I guess this is kinda a continuation from my previous topic: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/650621-needing-courage-to-put-an-end-to-just-dating
Last night, I had the "there's someone else in the picture" discussion with David. Honestly, I expected it to go rather smoothly. I thought he would be understanding. I thought he wasn't that into me anyway. I mean, months of "oh, we're just casually dating." "I don't think we really have a connection, do we?" 95% of the time he didn't even kiss me goodbye. I always had a nice time with him, but I was never fully myself around him. Probably a lot of that had to do with the fact that things were so uncertain with him. Sure, there was the occasional, "good morning, sweet Kimberly" text, but even those were rare. So the last time he told me that we were just casually dating, I felt like I had no choice but to put my profiles back up and all that nonsense. I am a relationship girl, not a casual dater.
Anyway, he did not take the discussion the way I had expected. Said things like, "you know I like you, don't you?" (Well, yes, but I thought you liked me in the "you're nice to have around while I look for someone else" sorta way). Talked about how the reason he hasn't been around much has been because of his son. Said that I knew from the beginning that he wanted to take things slow. I think we had different definitions of slow. Slow to me was a month or two of dating, for him it was three or four - maybe more? Said he was trying to be around more. Named all the little things he's done that show me he likes me.
I told him that I liked him too and that this wasn't easy for me either (true statement). I tried to take all the blame and leave "the other guy" out of it. He kept asking though, and I did finally have to say that I just click more with Phillip. Of course then he wanted to know why I clicked with Phillip and not him. I don't know - can we choose who we click with? I don't think we can.
Ended the conversation with me telling him that I want to be friends and that I really mean that (I do). Told him again all the things I like about him. He just said he didn't know.
Just got the "ok, are you sure we can't come together and make this work?" text. *Sigh* I really didn't think this would be so difficult. Did I just completely miss the signs that he was into me? I wish he had been more clear about his feelings, but it is really kinda too late now.
Last night, I had the "there's someone else in the picture" discussion with David. Honestly, I expected it to go rather smoothly. I thought he would be understanding. I thought he wasn't that into me anyway. I mean, months of "oh, we're just casually dating." "I don't think we really have a connection, do we?" 95% of the time he didn't even kiss me goodbye. I always had a nice time with him, but I was never fully myself around him. Probably a lot of that had to do with the fact that things were so uncertain with him. Sure, there was the occasional, "good morning, sweet Kimberly" text, but even those were rare. So the last time he told me that we were just casually dating, I felt like I had no choice but to put my profiles back up and all that nonsense. I am a relationship girl, not a casual dater.
Anyway, he did not take the discussion the way I had expected. Said things like, "you know I like you, don't you?" (Well, yes, but I thought you liked me in the "you're nice to have around while I look for someone else" sorta way). Talked about how the reason he hasn't been around much has been because of his son. Said that I knew from the beginning that he wanted to take things slow. I think we had different definitions of slow. Slow to me was a month or two of dating, for him it was three or four - maybe more? Said he was trying to be around more. Named all the little things he's done that show me he likes me.
I told him that I liked him too and that this wasn't easy for me either (true statement). I tried to take all the blame and leave "the other guy" out of it. He kept asking though, and I did finally have to say that I just click more with Phillip. Of course then he wanted to know why I clicked with Phillip and not him. I don't know - can we choose who we click with? I don't think we can.
Ended the conversation with me telling him that I want to be friends and that I really mean that (I do). Told him again all the things I like about him. He just said he didn't know.
Just got the "ok, are you sure we can't come together and make this work?" text. *Sigh* I really didn't think this would be so difficult. Did I just completely miss the signs that he was into me? I wish he had been more clear about his feelings, but it is really kinda too late now.
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Replies
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Looking back, I think I ended two relationships prematurely. In other words, I wish I would have given it another chance.
On the other hand, I've long lost count of the relationships I should have ended so much sooner, but stuck around to everyone's detriment. You can put my one and only marriage in this category, as well.
I don't know the guy, I don't know you. But based on my stats, I'd say I'm 98% sure you're doing the right thing by getting out of the relationship now. But you have to make that call.
Good luck.
--P0 -
I know they say, "Love is hard work." But falling in love shouldn't be. If you're not just dying to be with him, what makes you think you're going to want him around until one of you dies? Don't settle. If Phillip churns your butter, go with him.0
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I think you're completely doing the right thing. David isn't meeting your needs and Phillip is. It's as simple as that.
David sat on the pot for too long without sh!tting. He can't get mad at you because he's constipated!0 -
David sat on the pot for too long without sh!tting. He can't get mad at you because he's constipated!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Seriously made me laugh out loud! Thank you! I needed a good laugh.0 -
At the end of the day the only thing that matters is you are interested in the other guy.
Be polite but don`t engage David in this topic,it will only encourage him in something you don`t feel.0 -
You did the right thing. I think David is feeling more inclined to tell you how he feels now that you're taking yourself out of the picture IMO.0
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Would you be so torn right now if David had been totally cool and understanding about it? The above poster was right, he did sit on the pot for too long.0
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That is so annoying. I don't want you .. until I can't have you.. then all the sudden YOU are supposed to know that he was really into you.
Whatevs. PHILLIP! PHILLIP! PHILLIP!0
