Going Out?
starrycarina
Posts: 59
Hey you guys!
I was just curious to know if any of you ever feel embarrassed going out to restaurants with your slim guy? I know it probably sounds petty but sometimes I swear people are staring at us and I can't help but wonder if they're thinking to themselves "Why is this good looking guy with this pig?" I'm such a worry wart and tend to be very critical of myself and self-conscious and no matter how hard I try not worry about it, I still feel sort of embarrassed. I also worry that my husband is embarrassed of me deep down when people glance at us, even though I know he loves me and always tells me just how proud he is of me and how beautiful I am to him. I guess it's just silly little inner worries but do any of you ever feel this way?
xo
Kat
I was just curious to know if any of you ever feel embarrassed going out to restaurants with your slim guy? I know it probably sounds petty but sometimes I swear people are staring at us and I can't help but wonder if they're thinking to themselves "Why is this good looking guy with this pig?" I'm such a worry wart and tend to be very critical of myself and self-conscious and no matter how hard I try not worry about it, I still feel sort of embarrassed. I also worry that my husband is embarrassed of me deep down when people glance at us, even though I know he loves me and always tells me just how proud he is of me and how beautiful I am to him. I guess it's just silly little inner worries but do any of you ever feel this way?
xo
Kat
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i feel exactly like this. EXACTLY! you hit the nail on the head. I am so insecure when out with my husband. I honestly think he doesnt care but im so embarassed for him we rarely go out
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Restaurants don't make me feel too uncomfortable. Going to the beach is what makes me feel embarrassed. Seeing other couples our age who are all slim and perfect together. I know it sounds superficial but I miss bikinis and Eric actually getting frustrated at other guys for staring or making comments when we would be on the beach or at the club at night. Now I am the one who gets mad at these skinny chicks because they'll act like I'm invisible and flirt with my man.0
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I sure did! Even when I was with my kids, I worried that I embarrassed them. That was part of my motivation. None of them have ever said anything, but of course they wouldn't, but it was how I felt. I saw my son the other day, first time since Christmas and he told me how good I looked and he even said he was sorry because he had in the past laughed at me and the way I looked. So that confirmed my feelings. I haven't seen my daughter since April and I can't wait to see what she says when I see her in a couple of weeks. I do have to say, it does feel good to have men do a double look at me. :blushing: Hang in there!
P.S. I am sure your man doesn't feel embarrassed when your out in public. They seem to see something in us that they like that we can't see.0 -
Restaurants...well we don't go out to eat much bc he hates crowds...
We went to Vegas for the first time 2 weeks ago...and me being between 195-200 I was nervous...I mean it's Vegas: IN shape women in teenie dresses and bikinis etc... I went and bought my first swim suit EVER since being with him and man was I scared...We have had out differences on both our weight (he is 235 not skinny but acts like he is) and trying this swim suit on made me feel good (its crazy cute)
The night we got to our hotel we got a room that over looked the pool and strip...I kept asking him around what time we would wake up to go to the pool and he said 8am...so I was up by 730 am and excited and he gets up and is quiet...said he didn't feel good and I just started to feel upset...so he said "You go ahead and go down to the pool" and honestly I was ready to just tell him NO we could walk to the strip etc... instead... but I didn't I ended up putting my swim suit on and literally walked down stairs MORTIFIED and feeling so...so EMBARRASSED!! Once I got to the pool I got in and got out minutes later and just laid out and tanned and it felt great...
Long story short he said he wasn't sure how he would react to seeing me in a bathing suit bc I am at the weight I'm at so he preferred to stay in the room...
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That is just hurtful. I have been nervous about wearing bathing suits in front of my husband since I gained weight. He never says anything negative but I know he's disappointed in how I look in one, I know he misses the tiny two pieces I use to wear. I can't decide if I would rather hear him say it or just keep reading it on his face.0
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I used to constantly worried about what people were thinking about me, but at some point I realized that I don't pay that much attention to other people, therefore they probably weren't paying me much attention either. Now I don't worry about it so much.0
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Facial reactions are the WORST and by far hurtful .. I at times find my self holding back bc I wanna say to him so badly when he makes a face "GOT A PROBLEM" Ugh... but I don't .... when we do go out I tend to wear what makes me look a bit slim(not by much) I hv come to many conclusions that he can either deal with me being overweight or leave if it bothers him any... I would just l ove for him to say to me I look beautiful in "something" rather than "yeah you look OK" ...0
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Oh, avigirl, I so know how you feel. My man is tact-challenged as well. He's come a long way, but those words and gestures never really leave our minds, do they? It hurts like hell to be regarded that way by the man who is supposed to love and cherish you till death do you part.
My life changed so much when I realized that I am beautiful and loveable as I am NOW...not at some future time. I live the life I deserve NOW, not when I get down to a goal weight. Sexy is an attitude...not a size. And because I live this way, he has begun to respond to me in kind. It's not perfect by any means, but it is better and there is just enough love to have the kind of relationship with him that I have always dreamed of. Sometime he can't help but say something and I have to remind him that it is my journey...he can support me or keep his mouth shut. I often do this with humor. Or sometimes I will see a picture of us together and I am set back a bit in my new attitude. I still look so huge next to him. But I shove those images out of my head because they do not contribute to the life I choose to live.
And actually it sounds like you did choose to live the life you deserve by rocking that new swimming suit down by the pool. Your man was the one who missed out and will continue to miss out until he gets over himself.0
