No that I ask, here is my reason:

My boyfriend and I have been discussing marriage, quite often actually and I would say as we aren't 'facebook offcially engaged' no ring yet (though we've already looked and I've given him an idea of what I would wear), we are definitely planning on getting married within the next two years and in pre-planning phase. To his family, I am introduced to people as his fiance'. Since a wedding we attended last weekend, I've caught my boyfriend googling wedding decorations and rings. :laugh:

Anyway, we joined theknot.com for planning. We are both having fun and getting excited just browsing color schemes and getting ideas of venues and will eventually track expenses and checklists there. I introduced myself, my situation on the forum and was bombarded for joining. I have many people sending me messages about being a pushy girlfriend for starting this (though it's a mutual adventure) and was told if we could not yet afford a ring there is no reason we should be thinking about marriage. For us, we already live together, share our expenses, and we both know what we want. All that will be changing for us is that we will be able to have the same last name, call each other husband and wife and be on the same insurance plan. BOTH of our families are anxious for us to get married and are going to be helping out financially with the wedding, so what is the big deal? Why so much much hate about him still being in school and not being 'financially stable' or not being together 'long enough' from strangers and even acquaintances?

Oooo k. So I happen to draw a distinction between being financially stable enough to get married and being financially stable enough for a ceremony. The degrees would vary based on the size of the ceremony, of course.

I think you should make sure that neither are you are in financial trouble before getting married, but that's not quite the same thing as saying that you shouldn't get married until you have a nest egg prepped. Just don't be stupid about it.

The same financial advice I would give applies to pretty much all other situations. When it comes to your ceremony, do what you can afford and don't dig a hole for yourselves. If you have family helping, it sounds like that may be taken care of? All you have to do is not go overboard.

Everyone's opinions about financial stability probably vary, but I don't see a reason for young people who are smart enough to deal with their finances and just don't happen to have had the time it takes to put together a down payment for a house yet, to put off getting married for financial reasons.

Now if one you has credit problems or unmanageable debt, that's a different issue.

We are both virtually debt free. I think we may each have about $1500 dollars or so in medical things we are paying on but that's about it. Our concern isn't the wedding. We have things we are planning on paying for but both parents are very traditional and plan on paying the traditional things...dad most of the wedding, MIL rehearsal, etc... It seems to be more of comments we are getting are the nest egg issue but we already live and pay bills together so I don't see the problem.

I think any (adult) has the right to get married to whomever, whenever, and where ever; age, finances, gender, etc., be damned. That said, I'd strongly caution anyone under the age of 30 against getting married. It's not about the finances so much, as growing up first. I do feel qualified to caution, since I've been married since I was 18. It's not easy to go through all the changes that the decade of being in your 20s brings as part of a married couple.

People in their 30s are more likely to be financially stable, but that's not a crucial part of marriage to me. If you're able to get help from your families for the wedding, I don't think it makes much difference. I think it's pretty typical for the bride's parents' to pay, at least a portion, if not all, of the wedding.

One thing I do see a lot of engaged couples doing that I totally admit to judging, is putting more thought and planning into the wedding, than into the marriage.

I would definitely take that into consideration. But we both lived with significant others by the time we were 18 and have been pretty independent since then as far a s maturity and responsibility goes. Both have been through long term and even turbulent relationships. I already have a 4 year old son. We both feel that we are ready and in the place we want to be for this. In fact, he was joking with me at lunch about how we are such a unique couple, most people don't understand how we can get along so well and have such an easy relationship. We are completely on the same page about what a marriage should be, even our disagreements are simple to solve and few and far between.