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Silly question!
Katefab26
Posts: 865
I know this sounds a little crazy, but it's much easier for me to ask these kinds of questions here as opposed to my IRL friends who think I'm not insane :laugh:
I've been thinking about this lately, and wondering if anyone else feels the same way. Right now, if a guy rejects me or doesn't like me, I just tell myself it's because I'm still fat and move on. I'm wondering how I'll handle rejection once I actually do get a lot closer to goal, because then it won't be rejection of my physical appearance, but a rejection of who I am. Does anyone else worry/have to deal with this? Am I being totally irrational??
I've been thinking about this lately, and wondering if anyone else feels the same way. Right now, if a guy rejects me or doesn't like me, I just tell myself it's because I'm still fat and move on. I'm wondering how I'll handle rejection once I actually do get a lot closer to goal, because then it won't be rejection of my physical appearance, but a rejection of who I am. Does anyone else worry/have to deal with this? Am I being totally irrational??
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Guys deal with this every day.
One can get rejected for so many reasons.
But expect fewer rejections when you weigh less. It is always good to give someone one less reason to reject you.0 -
I used my fat to hid behind for my whole life. It was my excuse for not fixing my personality lol.
Here's the thing..overweight people everywhere are dating people..married, have bf/gf, I never did. Why because I was too shy, afraid and didn't know how to be myself. So I used fat to hide and as an excuse.
Now I'm not skinny but I'm certainly more of the average body type and its frustrating to put yourself out there and be rejected...I know its not my size or looks anymore but something about me...me on the inside that is not attracting mr right. BUT I'm much more fun, energetic, smile more, more active ect now and I know with patience that one person will come along. I don't need to have a million men love me..just one...lol although alittle attention would be nice until he falls into my life.0 -
I know with patience that one person will come along. I don't need to have a million men love me..just one...lol although alittle attention would be nice until he falls into my life.
I agree with this, we are all looking for a needle in a haystack. Something very rare indeed. It helps to remember that it's ok to both reject and be rejected because in the end you want the right one, not just any one.0 -
We are rejected for a multitude of reasons, and loved for a multitude of reasons. Not always about weight. Some people hate us and we have no idea why! Some people love us and we have no idea why!
I didn't have the exact same struggle because when I lost weight the first time I hadn't realized how heavy I was in other people's eyes. I didn't discover that until after I had lost the weight and heard skinny people talking bad about heavy people. This, itself, has brought on a whole new complex of personal issues as the weight came back on, because I now knew what they were saying about me behind my back.
The fortunate thing is, I have accepted the fact that I’ll always be a little too thin, too thick, too smart, too dumb, too light, too dark, too whatever to some folks. And I’ll be positively delightful and fabulous to others. So I don’t waste energy taking it too personal (though it does annoy me from time to time).0 -
It's not always just because of your weight so don't hide behind that. It could be that they think you can do better than them, or what you both want out of the relationship is different (LTR/marriage versus wham bam thank you ma'am).0
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I used my fat to hid behind for my whole life. It was my excuse for not fixing my personality lol.
Here's the thing..overweight people everywhere are dating people..married, have bf/gf, I never did. Why because I was too shy, afraid and didn't know how to be myself. So I used fat to hide and as an excuse.
Now I'm not skinny but I'm certainly more of the average body type and its frustrating to put yourself out there and be rejected...I know its not my size or looks anymore but something about me...me on the inside that is not attracting mr right. BUT I'm much more fun, energetic, smile more, more active ect now and I know with patience that one person will come along. I don't need to have a million men love me..just one...lol although alittle attention would be nice until he falls into my life.
Kerry -- I know exactly what you mean! I guess I've been wondering about it more now because I do see other overweight people with very happy relationships, so it makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong with how I project myself to other people. Not that I necessarily think I'll meet the right man tomorrow, but it would be nice to be noticed until then
JJ, you're right. It kind of goes along with the idea that everyone is attracted to something different. I'm an obvious case in point -- my ideal guy is a skinny math nerd -- not exactly everyone else's cup of tea :laugh:
DM -- you are always so blunt and to the point. That is not a left handed compliment. I enjoy it -- it's refreshing.
PJ -- I just love you!!!! You are so right!0 -
If you're anything like me you'll find new and better reasons. The best one being "Oh well, they must be a moron"0
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The best one being "Oh well, they must be a moron"
This is absolutely the best reason for rejection!0 -
Want to know what finally got me past getting so down about it bothered me to see another guy get any attention?
I hated the person I was with my head hanging down feeling sorry for my self 1000x more then the quickly fading feelings of rejection.
I still get that on a regular basis but now just grin,roll my eyes at my "luck" and almost instantly move on,the self loathing does one absolutely no good.0 -
I still have a little chub on me (hehe) but yes, now that i've lost weight and guys seem to love my new body (all my dates comment on my curves and legs) and they reject me, it hurts a lot more. Obviously, I have no problem turning them on with my looks but something in my personality turned them off. This makes me realize that maybe just maybe guys aren't all about sex.
We can have a hot bang fest, sure but when that's not good enough to keep them around long term. It's kind of refreshing.
Of course, there are guys out there looking for bang fests with any hot girl but we'll not go there....
On the contrary, it also makes me feel good when the guy knows he's not getting a bang fest that quick with me and likes me.. because he wants more than my body. (or is being patient lol)
HOT PICTURE, KATIE LOVE!!!!! :devil:0 -
If you're anything like me you'll find new and better reasons. The best one being "Oh well, they must be a moron"
I actually prefer "They must be gay".0
This discussion has been closed.