One of the best things I started to do was "self talk". When I got hungry I used to ask myself, what do I "FEEL" like eating? I don't ask that anymore because I am not feeding my feelings or my emotions. I am trying to nourish and fuel my body.... So now I ask myself, what SHOULD I eat? The answer for that is usually quite different from my old question.

Whenever I have an urge for something I know I should not eat, I ask myself what would be a healthier choice? I always try to have a healthier, but equally satisfying alternative as a back up. I also use positive words associated with the healthier alternative and will tell myself, "Oooh, I have those super sweet and juicy tangelos at home!" to encourage that mental shift to the new food and take the focus off my old favorites.

I would like to invite you to read my blogs. My journey of weight loss, actually began as an attempt to build a healthier relationship with food as well as unlearning years of poor eating habits and replacing them with healthier eating habits. That means not just making better food selection, but changing the how, when, wheres and whys of my eating....

All the best to you in your journey!

My goodness, it makes me happy and sad at the same time to hear that I am not the only one who has a unhealthy relationship with food. I have recently also taken into my routine to ask myself 'why amd I eating?' It has helped so much! Am I just bored? Am I happy, sad, upset, or overwhelmed. Its NOT funny but I have used eating as a coping mechanism for all of these things. I love the post that talks about not asking yourself 'what do I feel like eating'. You are so right! I should NOT be feeding my feelings. I should be feeding/fueling my body! Brilliant. I have been trying to eat better and actually balance my diet so this will help me tremendoulously!

One of the things I believe I am fighting against as most people probably are is culture. I dont know about everyone else's family, but growing up celebration always meant food. And not good food either. I am talking cake, cookies, drinks, obscene quanities of meats/cheeses/breads. Then if something bad happened or you get sick or anything its ice cream and chocolated in my family. Every holiday: hoards of candy big enough to make your teeth hurt. I am trying to break all those old habits and form new one so that when I have children I can help create a more healthy way to celebrate holidays and really any occasion. A fried gets a job she applied for? I offer to drive and plan a hike for the two of us or more. The other day I was invited to a BBQ and I was nervous to go because I love chips and dips and all those wonderful things I cant eat just one of. Embarrassed I picked up a veggie tray at Safeway thinking everyone would look at me sideways and say wow yeah she really should be dieting or just not eat it. Well I am very proud to say the host took it right out of my hands as my back food crossed the threshold to his house, ripped the package off and started eating it. I got countless high-fives for being the only one to bring healthy food and it was gone within the first hour.

I think we all want to be healthy and make new habits and it can be scary, at least for me , because its a completely different world than I grew up in and I worry too much about what other people think. I am excited though to be part of a big change I think it coming in separating food and emotions! Thanks all of you for all your posts I learned a lot!

I had to come back to this post. I have had a few break thrus and a few breaks since I last posted here.... So, I have figured out a few other things that help me. I realize I cannot live the all or nothing approach to food. And after all, what I want is a HEALTHY relationship with food and avoidance is NOT healthy!... I initially told myself NO to ice cream, cookies, chips, or whatever I felt "guilty" about putting in my mouth, you know, the foods that you were worried that other people would see you eat because you were worried they would be thinking, "no wonder she's so fat!"... So, to rectify this, I have been PRACTICING how to eat those foods of indulgence without binging on them.

I began by actually portioning out ONE serving and eating just one. I did not allow myself to even lick the spoon or taste one nibble of a chip UNTIL AFTER I put the food away and went to my quiet place to eat it. I would not allow ANY distractions between me and my indulgent food. That meant no tv, no computer, no iPad, no texting... It was me and my indulgent food. PERIOD. I would take a spoonful or one chip and truly savor each sensation of what I was eating... I would allow myself to feel the smoothness of the ice cream or the saltiness of the chip or the moistness of the baked good. Often times I would find my mind wandering off to something different... So I would not allow myself to take another bite until I was 100% focused on the food in my mouth. After I finished eating I would immediately find something to occupy me from wanting to go back for seconds, thirds, etc... Such as taking a shower, taking a walk, signing into MFP, or calling a friend. Anything that would truly prevent me from wandering back into the kitchen and grabbing for more for to put into my mouth. I found the shower worked the best for me as i was totally detained, I ended up focusing on the relaxing shower and it completely distracted me from my desire to binge. By the time I got out of the shower and put my clothes on, my obsession for MORE had been lifted and my common sense/will power had kicked in.

In addition I really have tried to come up with substitutes for my OLD favorites. I am now totally addicted to watermelon as I have truly convinced myself how amazingly yummy it is. So, instead of driving home, stressed out from work telling myself I can't wait to dive into the Ben & Jerry's in the freezer, I tell myself that I have cold and super sweet and juicy watermelon in the refrigerator. I have changed my fixation to a healthier alternative. This really does work for me. In fact, I have two pints of B&J in my freezer and choose watermelon over the ice cream the past several days. Even if I do open my freezer and impulsively think Ohhh, ice cream. I stop myself and say,what else's do I have that would be equally as yummy and satisfying yet not as damaging to my health and weight loss efforts. I try to think about balance in my diet and tell myself, "Dawn, you didnt have enough protein today,what can you eat that would satisfy your hunger as well as your need for additional protein?" Most of the time that helps me to make a better nutritional choice and MANY times I find myself shutting the freezer and opting for the alternative such as Chobani Greek yogurt. That is now a substitute for B&J Cherry Garcia ice cream or frozen yogurt.

I also find that sometimes I want to eat just because something is in front of me. For example, every Wednesday I work late. A woman with whom I work brings in Philadelphia Soft Pretzels each week at the tune of 290 calories a pretzel. I used to not be able to refuse them. But one day i recognized i was readhing for a pretzel simply because it s there. I stopped myself and told myself, I have tasted those soft pretzels every Wednesday night for months on end. I know what they taste like and while they taste good, they are never as good as i originally think they are going to be. Most of the time this stops me from eating them. I also come prepared with some healthier snack alternatives for when other people begin to eat those pretzels.

One of my biggest changes is how I eat my dinner. I find I eat throughout the day in a pretty mindless fashion but dinner is one time I CAN actually slow down to eat. I recalled that I had heard over and over again that it takes the brain about 20 minutes after you eat to realize you have been fed. I then realized that many a time I was so hungry when I got home that I would scarf down food while I was making dinner and my dinner would be done before 20 minutes and I would eat that, too. OR I would begin eating my dinner while standing in the kitchen, as if it were an EMERGENCY to put that first fork full of food in my mouth. I would polish off my dinner so quickly and still feel hungry and the next thing you know I was snacking before my brain even realized my body was fed. I also realized i was so worried about shoveling the next forkful of food into my mouth that i didnt even take notice of the food that was already in my mouth. So now I actually set a timer for 20 minutes. I eat without distractions of any kind. I put my fork/spoon down after EVERY bite I put in my mouth. I chew and taste my food and focus only on what is in my mouth. Once I swallow my food I wait atleast 10 seconds, all while making "eye contact" with my food before I pick up my fork and take another bite.. And start the whole process again. You can't believe how hard it was for me to sit and stare at my food for 10 seconds without wanting to pick up my fork and put another bite in mouth. I am now able to sit for several minutes or more without taking another bite. This has probably been one of my biggest eye openers because it really made me aware how much I was truly just shoveling food in my face mindlessly, impulsively and uncontrollably. I realized it was NOT an emergency or crisis to get that food in my mouth as fast as possible. It was about SLOWING down and being present in the moment of what and how much I was eating. I have to say, it is true about the 20 minutes. Sometimes it takes me more than 20 minutes to eat and I look down at my food and realize, I am no longer hungry and still have food left on my plate. It's really cool to see that shift in myself.

The other thing is, WE ARE NOT PERFECT. Before I began this journey I used to make unhealthy eating choices pretty much 365 days a year... Meaning, every day. So, there are days I am not perfect. But, if I have a binge day once a month than I am doing way better than I was before this journey began. To put it another way, if I were a sports team and won 353 games out of 365 I would be a CHAMPION! So, I am a champion....