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I'm so sorry for your problem. It sounds like this is more of a legal issue than a medical one. Your medical need is clear. The insurance company's position is that your current condition is not covered under their legal contract. You may have already done this, but have you investigated an appeal to an outside body? I…
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Others see it but you don't. I agree with the others. Find something that will help you quantify your changes, like photos and measurements.
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I just wear a large (overnight) sanitary napkin. Size is not for capacity but to guarantee it will be in place if needed.