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She used to be a window washers apprentice
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I forgot she couldn't read and bought her a book for her birthday
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Her feet were so big they required expensive custom socks
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He build a rocket just so he could make jokes about waxing it
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Once kicked a 3 year old off a baby swing so she could use it, and then got stuck and had to call the fire department
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She is one of my wives
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I couldn't stop myself from stealing her awesome hats. They were so cool!
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She was one of the fly girls on In Living Color
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All he ever did was complain. Goodness gracious
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Her life in the octagon was too much for me to handle
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She was the first person in history to jump a horse into an air balloon from a speeding train.
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She walks around draped in an american flag telling everyone she "won the Olympics"
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He was too hairy
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She often walks really fast down the street and makes motorcycle sounds with her mouth when she's in a hurry
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Dark magic
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He wouldn't stop creeping
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She didn't know the difference between jealousy and envy...
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She had dreams and thought they were real, and held them against me
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She often ends up telling me I win
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She tricks me into drinking cat pee
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Wouldn't stop running up credit card bills
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She once filled a milk carton with cat pee to "teach me a lesson"
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Beast man
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She accuses me of totally unfounded things
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Everyone knows what she does to get out of trouble with the boss
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She likes to sneak around offices drawing pictures of penises and boobs on people's dry erase boards
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She didn't like it all night long...
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He shared things I didn't want to know
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She was jealous of her ex gf
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She once scaled the Empire State Building with no ropes just to rescue a cat.
