southbaysonia Member

I stayed out of the pool for 30 years. I love swimming. I'm too old and overweight and have somehow adopted the attitude (reality?) that I'm kinda invisible. No one takes a 2nd look at me. There's a kind of freedom in that. And denying myself something I love so much (& is so good for me), isn't going to keep happening.…

I think most folks mean well and just want to ensure you're not left out. I say "Thanks so much for the offer, but me and my diet respectfully decline ... Do you have any carrot sticks"? That makes them laugh and makes me not seem like a downer. At least I hope so!

When I go to the grocery store, instead of buying a food treat, I buy flowers. Lots of flowers! In almost every room, but especially the kitchen.

Imagine yourself as a child. You would never tell a child she's fat and ugly. Be kind to your inner child. She's always there, looking to you for guidance, support, and love.

Endo is a *kitten*. A dr I once had told me to eat: No dairy, no wheat, no sugar, no meat. I found my strategy of Oxy and wine worked better.

Fear of success.

I tried this once. It didn't work for me. Hung them up where I would see them everyday. I got to hating them, hanging there mocking me.

You have a daughter? How does this sound? When you want to eat to cope with the grief, how about picking up a pen (handwriting is better than keyboarding for this exercise), and write about your feelings. Your feelings when you're sad, as well as capturing good memories about your mom. Someday, this collection of memories,…

In my experience, psychotherapy takes a long view. Lots of time thinking and talking about your past, family, culture, etc. Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), on the other hand, helps you understand how your thoughts influence your feelings and then how your feelings impact your behavior. e.g., I was afraid of flying.…

If I get fit/thin/skinny and I'm still unhappy, then wtf is wrong with me? If I get fit/thin/skinny ... Is that my "full potential". Isn't there more than that?

Ms Laura, sweet pea. 25 is young, even if it feels otherwise. And while it *is* more difficult to find cute clothes when you're not a size X (fill in what you think is ideal), it can (and should) be done. Find clothes that fit and feel good. "Prime" is subjective and fluid. I invite to try and feel feminine and beautiful…

Fear of success.

Like falling off the wagon and turning to drugs or alcohol, for me/in my experience, the decision to binge is made before the first bite. It's always emotional. It's helpful to me to think back - hard - and try to uncover the source. And, the morning after a binge, I drink a giant glass of hot water with A LOT of lemon in…

I meant that she might consider measuring her progress by how she feels vs what the bathroom scale says.

My suggestion is lose the scale. If you're feeling better, more physically that's the reward.

Soundtrack from Project Runway, Season One.

You do have a choice and it sounds like you are making it. You are choosing yourself (and your son). A good first step. Relish that. Take it one step at a time. I'd invite you to keep a journal. Everyday, the first line could be "Today, I'm choosing to ..." examples: - not beat myself up for my weight - take a walk around…

Um, "cripples"? That's pejorative and illustrates your discrimination. While pontificating about others, please check your own privilege.

"Let's agree to disagree without being disagreeable".

Ronda, it's good to see you here, trying, asking for support. Please don't let folks shame you into any position you're not yet comfortable or ready to take on. Small steps add up and you can get 'there', wherever there is for you. Starting with "desiring" is a start to committing. Go at a pace that makes sense to you,…

What is a figure competition? If it's pitting yourself against other women, I'd invite you to consider the tremendous benefits of female friendships vs the sexist, classist exploitation of women for male gain/gaze and ditch the competition and instead focus on mutual support of women who 'get' you and your/our body issues,…

Does your mom know you are working on losing weight? If she does, you might consider saying "Oh, Mom, I love your cooking and can't wait till I lose X pounds so I can continue to love your food. So, in the meantime I'll have half or 3/4 of your delicious dish or something like that". If she doesn't know you're trying to…

Not yet. But what it does do for me is make me aware of my in/activity, how well I slept, and the fluctuations in my heart rate. All interesting bits of info to have about oneself. All important info that will lead, one hopes, to making changes. You know what they say ... the first step in solving a problem is knowing you…

Thanks for your message. I appreciate your taking the time to write.

Can relate to Marillian. I have chronic back (SI) pain and fell over a little dog in early Dec. and messed up my knee. I can't face the physio - it's humiliating to have a young, thin, perky blonde massage my bum. I just can't do it. I exercise one day and am in too much pain the next. I'm trying for less calories vs…

Thanks.

Pop music. It makes me angry and depressed.

Cognitive behavior therapy. No scrutiny of ones past, just practical tools to deal. Highly, highly recommended. Helped me get on a plane after being terrified of flying for 20 years.

Born & raised in Toronto. Moved to California 2 years ago. I don't miss the snow, but I am homesick.

This sounds incredibly frustrating. Glad you came here to vent. It feels unfair to work so hard and not see results. I am trying to be gentle with myself and trying to be patient. It's tough! It's going to be tough for a while.