gardengnomemanifesto Member

I’m awful because I hold back the mean because I don’t want to get banned since I’m a loser and this is my only social life.

Is she fat? Did she struggle through? Was she proud of her effort until you belittled her?

Dear anonymous Perhaps you really are. Me

Sure one banana is nice but what about the whole bunch?

so posts the underpants man in the wholesome man thread

I cleaned the cat litter this morning and no poop was stuck to the bottom. So, I think I'm clearly the winner here.

when I need to destress I will pick a mountain minecraft world and organize the tunnels in the mountain, make them all even.

I said that to my oldest....four kids later he still doesn't eat his dinner or clean his room so we gave up. ;)

I laughed so hard at this, then though of several "hot kitty" jokes

Still praying

I put peanut butter on toast and yelled at everyone. Close enough.

trying to figure out how to get my six year old son to wear his "house" tennis shoes as his "regular everyday tennis shoes" because he wants to keep them nice and refuses to wear them outside of the house.

occasionally when i have the good chocolate chips, I'll make a small batch of cookies and tell the kids I made them "Healthy" and with pureed vegetables even though I didn't. That way the kids won't touch them and I eat all of them.

Sometimes when I'm in a bad mood and by daughter asks for candy I'll say sure I'll give you a piece of candy after you pay the dental bill from your last cavity and tooth pulling of thousands of dollars. No problem.

its for getting a date

He's right. I searched everywhere.

somebody ate all the waffles. NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!!!!

Dear a, It’s sad I want you to notice me But I am fat and probably beneath your notice. Im starting my new workouts tomorrow So maybe I won’t be so ehhh anymore Maybe I’ll start feeling better bout me. Me

IM open like a 7/11 24/7

Lets see if my boobz will fit in your hands

^^^and I'm sneak eating the ice cream so they don't hear me....or else everyone will want ice cream and I don't want to scoop it and clean it up and all that crap

I'm changing you to a five.

my son said this WAS the best day ever now its the worst because everyone is fighting and mean to me. This was after I yelled at him for screaming loudly at his brother who annoyed him. Now I'm eating ice cream like a fat lard. It kinda is the worst day this week. sofar.

I just shove the garbage down further into the bag so the next person can empty it

Dear A, I know you lied about that. you have. me

i know where I stand now