that_night_in_paris Member

Me trying to figure out how to program the elliptical machine and drinking half my water bottle during that time 😑 https://youtu.be/hxsOXOPni0o

I've already had pizza and cheeseburgers and it's not even 2:15pm yet

Someone who will threaten my life over a volatile game of Pictionary and then passionately make-out with me 10 seconds later.

You would not have fun at my parties 👀 ⛽

(getting the shakes)

Black coffee from the gas station. Two packs of honey buns and the latest Hustler.

COVID compliant ones lol

A deep backwoods gal with a lot of Duane's and Norma's in her family.

Whatever feels comfortable inside a bubble.

Need more info. May I see your can opener?

Hey you, Yes you No, not you..... but YOU Remember me? Yeah I'm all grown up now

Wise decision. 👻 you'll find that this little guy is quick and efficient.

One taco, please! I'm *kitten* starving

Great set of feet!

All power to those who can be celibate and come out a better person. It's not for me though. I love nachos too much.

Money, cash, puppies.

Someone who truly and genuinely believes that they are a shark when they're taking their Sunday night bath.

Someone who goes on a long bathroom break during our first date, and I assume they bailed, but they return with a hot churro for me! 😃

We had met at the grocery store in the Mediterranean foods aisle. My eyes popped out of the sockets and I started drooling on my cardigan. Not my classiest moment. An hour later we were rocking each other's world back at my pad. Right on the counter top... knocking over owl cookie jars and all. Didn't even make it to the…

A Chick-fil-A sandwich.... dropped inside a thunderdome. As she shouts, "Two men enter, only one will leave!"

https://youtu.be/2dyrYNMFq9I

When one of your co-workers who is older than 40 tries to be hip and says... "Woot woot!" Oh god I could shove my head in a fax machine

Ghost 'em. It's Tinder. You don't owe anyone *kitten* on these dating apps. Even the two guys you're serious about are probably swiping furiously at this moment. It won't stop till the thumbs fall off. Remember that.

*kitten* everybody. Nothing personal. That's just how I feel in 2020. I just gotta do me and keep on posting.

https://youtu.be/RTGyb1s8o1w

https://youtu.be/S7Ly030AcwY

"What it do, playa" Huh. What does what do now? I'm very confused, sir.

An underachieving scientist with a tight ponytail playing Animal Crossing on the toilet with the bathroom door halfway open

I've been spending most of my days preoccupied with finding life's true meaning. Incorporating various methods of enlightenment via tantra, wild fungi, and Rocky films.

https://youtu.be/bEGqLpgiY-M