itchmyTwitch Member

hyyy, I'll give you my favorite Walmart purse if you move near me. It's like the widow's mite 🤗

if they're checking out my dad's cankles

top to bottom

When people I don't know, like, or care about take up more than a couple of seconds of my mental capacity. Working on it.

🙄

I also like finding so called healthy recipes online, doing the calorie & macro calculations, and finding out I might as well have a twinkie

10/10 This seems like it would fit well with my current skincare routine of crisco and baking soda.

I want to smell like Oreos. Can you help me?

I enjoy scrolling on my phone

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bc0KhhjJP98

Yes, I am wise But it's wisdom born of pain Yes, I've paid the price But look how much I've gained And if I have to I can do anything

You give me earworms

Eating protein blueberry cobbler and watching interview with the vampire naked

is immune to my feminine wiles

I need to get me one.

Where can I find that. Amazon?

That is frikken incredible. Thank you 😊

I just spoke with an angry, irrational, confused person who was quizzing me on the exact location of my office. And now I'm wondering if I can shimmy down the drain pipe outside my window.

I'm claiming both of these

I'm looking for a man in finance Trust fund Six five Blue eyes 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ This should've gone in the what's stuck in your head thread

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ethr2rCglTw

I know the song Take Me to Church seems to be about erotic passion and ecstasy, but I think there's more than a passing nod to the personification of the creative muse.

Ugh this always happens. I'm sorry but I only see you as a friend. It's not you, it's me.

I think you deleted. Wish you hadn't

A friend of mine is in the early stages of getting separated and then divorced. Her husband who claims to desperately want to stay married is on dating sites pretending to be already divorced. It's been two weeks since they decided to separate.

Cutting edge technology

Seeing people experiencing joy by doing their own weird niche things for no one but themselves makes me joyful too

Bruh.

Waiting for the 17-year-old to finish his Dunkin & get out of my car to join his chess team

That's a bad picture. In real life he's very handsome