Katanthus Member

It is so sad to know, that so many people go through this. I have to say, my mother was not all bad, she does have a very kind heart, with others, just not me. I understand that no handbooks are given out when you become a parent, and some parents do the opposite of being controlling, which can be even worse.. they don't…

I think the clothing sizes in the US are insane... period. I personally think that childrens' clothing should be labelled by color. There could be a sizing chart on the wall... 2 = red 3 = orange 4= yellow. Colors hold no numerical value. Maybe parents should lobby to get childrens' clothing sizes changed. IF anyone can…

I know, because of my toxic mother, I put off having children, because I did not want to be like her...but regret it. I would LOVE to adopt, but it is too expensive. That is another story. You said that "sitting down with the toxic parent and talking" was not for you, and I understand that is not for everyone. I did not so…

No, you are NOT a bad daughter. I wish you all the best.

Even the word "fat" is not allowed in our house, unless it is referring to a substance. So, you aren't "fat" :) you, like me, are carrying a bit more baggage than we would like. All the very best

I really do believe they are unhappy with themselves, or it is an insecurity in them, and has nothing to do with us. Misdirected frustration, anger, or whatever.

Thank you so much. You are a very lucky lady. Hugs to you and your mum

I left home at 18, I got a job, and a place of my own. I am not saying it is for everyone, but it can work.

I am really sorry you went through such trauma. I feel that way about my biological family, but my REAL family I chose. You can too. Some people really are worth the effort, and letting them in your life. I know hurts less to keep everyone at bay, but maybe a time will come, when you will put your toe in the water. I wish…

I am sorry you went through that. It IS "control, manipulation and emotional abuse". Reading the book, gave me a place to start, I hope it does the same for you. I realized, it really isn't about us... it is about them. I know my mother has never said she is proud of me to my face.. she will certainly say it to others when…

Great suggestion!!

I thank you all for reading and commenting on my original post. I have received so many personal messages from people who did not wish to post publicly, and I totally understand. I wish you all the love and luck in the world. If you are reading the book, I do hope it helps. At least it is a place to start to try and "heal".

I am a transplanted Brit. Heart is in UK... body in US.

Not sure why you are having that problem. Try doing a search for the title and free download. Maybe that will help Try http://www.pdfbook.co.ke/details.php?title=Toxic%20Parents&author=Susan%20Forward&category=Family%20|%20Relationships&eid=2839&type=Book&popular=284

That is wonderful. Tell them how fabulous they are, and what a great job they did. /hug

That is a GREAT point. I too hope manipulative parents get to see this, though I don't think they would EVER look at a posting called "Toxic Parents". Maybe it should be reposted and called "is your daughter too fat"? That MAY get their attention, but then again, these mothers are so self-centered, it is about THEM not…

It depends: What is your starting weight? How tall are you? What to do want to achieve...weight or size reduction? Are you just trying to get in particular size clothing? If it is size you are concerned with, you may lose size, but not as much weight as you would like. I have only lost 39lb... but have lost 86.5 inches in…

For those of you interested, I found a pdf copy of the book for download: http://www.pdfbook.co.ke/download.php Let me know what you think. Kat

Long story, but my sister caused so much drama and upset, that as usual, my mother blindly will gang up with her to attack me. They were screaming at me on the phone, and I said in a very calm voice "I am not putting up with this, I will speak to you when you can have an adult conversation". That was back in February of…

I have gone from a 22 US to a size 12 US jeans, and I have probably purchased 12 pair since the beginning of my journey. Best places to get deals... Beall's or JC Penny. I got a pair of Levis at Beall's for $3.50. Seriously. You can't even buy the denim for that.

Thank you for reading my post. Sometimes it helps to know you aren't the only one who is in the boat. If you are going to read the book, I hope it helps. It isn't just for emotional abuse, it is for people who have had to deal with parental abusers of all types. You can buy it used from $4…

You children are lucky, you know what unconditional love is. My sister is the one with 3 kids, yet is not maternal. I on the other hand am maternal, yet do not have them. I adore children, but never had them.. I kept putting it off, because I did not want to turn into my mother. I am so maternal, I can't hear a baby cry,…

You may find, like me... you end up buying it multiple times..and giving it to people. I should buy another copy, or at this rate... maybe the author should send me a free one. lol

Actually, my step-dad is the same way.. my favorite person in the world... who IS and always will be dad to me. Unfortunately, my sister is a carbon copy of my mother, and causes so much drama, I am glad there is an ocean between us.

I tell you, it has been a battle over the last month to get to Onederland. Half a pound loss would get me there.

I eat about 5-6 small meals a day, that works for me. My main problem in the past was that I did not eat very much at all. I lived off coffee and a granola bar or two, and then a piece of grilled chicken and vegetables in the evening. I know, for me at least.. eating small amounts throughout the day is better. Like I said,…

Nordstrom are THE best at fitting and suggesting styles for a woman's shape. I do miss Marks & Spencers!

I am only 5' 2" I wish you every success with your journey. You CAN DO IT!

I saw them, and thought they would be good for my injured knee, and never thought I would be running in them. I just thought I would wear them to be able to move around and get a bit of exercise. I saw a girl running past wearing a pair when I was driving my car, and looked them up when I got home. I saw the price, and…

Thank you for being there every step of the way.