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Mocha, that is really beautiful. I feel you, girl! :)
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It your size 18's were tight when you first started, it is possible you were actually a size larger. Maybe now you're down to a size 18 and on the verge of going to 16!
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I recently started a blog. It's mostly about my experience with weight loss and work toward having gastric bypass surgery, but there's a lot of posts about reflecting upon weight, weight loss, weight gain, food, etc. http://myfatjourney.wordpress.com