capnrus789 Member

excessive winking

Yup, married her and everything.

Pucifer

Lift something heavy, hurt myself, then have her carry me away. She looks strong.

Deadpool on BluRay

Breathing does it for me.

Sure, wouldn't even need any beer.

I told my son to pull my finger...and he did! Phhhhbbbbbrrrrrrttt!!!!!

nope

I'm sure you're a swell guy, but probably not, dude.

How about you stop smoking the devil's lettuce! Heathens, all of you!

For at least 3 or 4 hours.

Nickelback. Yup, I said it.

Lots of things I shouldn't say....so I'll just say have a beer.

Blue raspberry Slurpee

explosive diarrhea

Eaten by a pack of rabid bunnies.

He's not gonna like it when I need to pinch a grumpy.

yes please

Are you actually constipated, or has your change in diet resulted in a change of BM frequency? IF you're eating less, you'll poo less, possibly less often as well. Every body is different. I go once a day, usually in the morning. I know folks who go 3 times a day, like clockwork. Others who go ever other day. All of those…

Flashed a cop to get out of a speeding ticket.

New Zealand. Family vacation and took 10 days to drive from Auckland to Queenstown. This was before Lord of the Rings came out. It was amazing. Dad only drove on the wrong side of the road twice.

left cheek

Don't listen to her, Odus, your way is perfect.

Yes, it's a dating site. All broads eat like the boat is going down when on their period. Then gain weight. Then burn it off like good little cardio bunnies hopping on the elliptical machine. You're definitely hot. You're not fat anymore. Except when you're crazy and on your period and you eat a gallon of ice cream an the…

It's not a dating site. It's a place for creepy dudes can ask for naked pictures and it's considered "flirting." Because pictures of naked people are super difficult to find on the internet.

Oh yes. Oh hell yes.

has part time job as a bouncer at the local strip club

My favorite beer is called "A Lot."

Feed it the neighbors cat.