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I know you aren't alone, I feel a similar way. You remember your life before your journey, maybe not the happiest of people but you were who you were and now you can see yourself as someone else but that is down the road but aren't quite there yet? Look at the bright side; you said you are happy, feel good and you look…
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You can always do a Pesto Sauce too.
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"There are no magical fixes. It's all up to you. So get up off your keester, get out of here and go start doing the work.... Nothing in this world that's worth having comes easy." - Dr. Bob Kelso, Scrubs.