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She dumped me because I kept eating all the bacon.
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She wouldn't act in my homemade clown porn!!! :(
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She wanted to carry me around on her back and I broke her.
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She kept trying to get me to grow facial hair and try as I might, I couldn't.
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I got tired of playing Sonny-n-Cher dress-up games
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@msbunnies - She kept cutting up my leggings and using them as tank tops(this thing moves FAST!)
