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Never wanted to pay on a date
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Make each other laugh
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I confess that I gave into temptation and ate two squares of cookie dough, and it upset my stomach. :/
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I've gotten up, got dressed, and left for work and then halfway there realized it was a Saturday. I've done this more than once, sadly.
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I'm 145 at 5'3. I wear a size 5, and a small in shirts.
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Runaway Coors light truck
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Chased by a pack of wild bears
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Kept leaving boxes of kitties at my house
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Didn't approve of my friendships
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Hung out with naughty people, and corrupted me.
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Was under the gun, so she took it on the run.
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A flux capacitor
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She keeps sending me nekked photos of her cat.
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Her friends were too hot and I got jealous.
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Wouldn't stop smacking me with a spatula every time I turned around to serve customers, so I tainted the batter and tipped off the Health Inspector.
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A thousand hats.
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Manages a chain of topless Waffle Houses. Got shut down by the health department for foreign objects in the batter.
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Every time I bailed her out, she was right back in jail the next day.
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Challenge them to a rematch.
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Nail art party
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Eating the filling out of Oreos, licking them and sticking them back together for the next person.
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Beard Bro, Beard
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All the restraining orders, ever.
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Didn't appreciate my one woman Hall and Oates tribute band.
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Didn't take me trick or treating. Said I was too old.
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Stalked me across five continents with a boombox over her head looping 'Baby Come Back'
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Sure!
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My laundry that went missing back in '06.
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Liked streaking in CVS
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Rockin it
