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Hi from what you've said and what I've read here, your lack of will power is because maybe you can't remember what its like to have the feeling that you are worth something, try and remember a time when "you" felt great, once you have identified that try and remember what was happening around you what you looked like and…
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Hi I hear you on the back issue, just started myself...good luck on your new beginning I believe you can meet your goals, if you need a some support just message and talk it through....