thomas2017

It is a shame you have to put such a negative spin on it. Perhaps I did not communicate clearly enough. Or perhaps the cold black and white text we all type here makes my true intention unclear. The only intention I have is to HELP her in a POSITIVE way. I am not here to judge or cause negative outcomes. My post here was…

Thank you for sharing that. If I were to do this though, the one tricky aspect is that I have less to lose than she does so doesn't that sort of make it unfair ? If one family member needs to lose 120 pounds to reach their ideal weight and the other needs to lose 30 pounds to reach their ideal weight, how can it be made…

You make a lot of excellent points. I just want to make it clear that I did not once during the past week with my Sister verbally say anything about food choices or what not to eat or that too much is being eaten or that she should drink diet coke or anything like that. Not one word. But I WILL tell you that at various…

It is interesting that you mention your German friend was the one that mentioned this. My Mother is German and I have been to Germany many times and I know for a fact that Germans are very upfront and direct when it comes to saying what is on their mind. They will not hesitate at all to tell someone they are overweight or…

Definitely not. But that guy Chris Powell from that show extreme weight loss might be. He seems like a really genuine guy committed to peoples success no matter what their previous circumstance was.

Losing the weight YOURSELF is a creative way to get her to pay attention. Does that really work ? If I made a public attempt to get down to 180 pounds and then revealed it to her somehow. Wouldn't that make someone who has not reached any weight loss goal yet feel inferior? or jealous that someone else has done it but they…

This is not about me analyzing or criticizing or judging. I have no ill meant intentions for my Sister and love her very much. She is the most giving thoughtful selfless person and is always putting other people before herself. I want her to be happy and I want her to have longevity for as long as possible. Who would not…

I was just trying to be creative looking for an ANSWER. No need to flame me please. The 3 to 6 month time frame is borrowed from the inspiration of the show "Extreme weight loss" on ABC http://watchabc.go.com/extreme-weight-loss/SH55124938/VDKA0_j3v5d0bg/alyssa I know it is just a 'show', but I have no reason to believe…

Yes change has to come from within. Making incremental positive food suggestions certainly does not hurt, but I just feel as though that this approach is too little and too late right now. This is complicated by the fact that she lives 3 hours away and so there is not that ability to make these occasional positive…

Would you have done it if someone kept bothering you about it? Excellent point. I must say that whether it was my parents or a friend or anyone else... As I think back all the years in the past when someone has nagged on me or told me what to do or change about my life, I usually just got defensive just kept saying "yes…

*sigh* This really sucks. No matter how I try to think of a solution or way to help, my brain always gets stuck in an endless loop that leads to a dead end. If I become the model picture of health and wellness, then she would probably feel bad and inferior because she hasn't done so yet. If I say something about what to do…

Hey Meeper123 I was the fat sister in this situation I was 230 lbs and growing miserable and depressed my mom and sister helped me a lot I lost down to 130 lbs and was the happiest and healthiest I had ever been. Unfortunately I did gain some weight a few years ago to 180 lbs they had another talk with me and helped me…

I keep hearing from folks on this board that a person who has a serious weight issue "already knows" they do and therefore know what to do about it. And for this reason they should not be bothered and just left alone. But I am not sure everyone who has a serious weight issue fully knows the gravity and seriousness of their…

It was my sister who inspired me to lose and get fit. Not so much by what she said (because at the time I found what she was saying to be pretentious and pious), but by what she did and her results. Getting inspired by someone or something in regards to achieving a goal of weight loss is so important. I was recently…

MrsFowler, Thanks for your excellent points. Your point about the 'last straw' or reaching a breaking point is key. I think my Sister could reach that point, but I wonder if there is a spark that would help to set it in motion...

I totally agree with this! The best thing any of my friends or family ever does for me to just join me in doing something healthy. It supports my effort without shining a spotlight on me or my "weight issues". I want to be seen, by my family and friends, as someone with whom they want to share some fun (a swim, a walk, any…

Here's the thing: Do you have anything to tell her that she doesn't already know?Well honestly it seems like I or other family members *DO know* facts regarding health and wellness that she seems to be blind to. Maybe she knows these facts as well but is in total denial. (example: She keeps drinking DIET COKE ! ) Tell me…

Its been 7mths & I have 78lbs gone, however if any one of my family members, esp my sister had dared to look at me & tell me to lose weight, I can guarantee you I would have told them to go "bleep" themselves & walked out of their lives. I wouldn't have listened to anyone else but that surgeon because he was on the…

Thanks for the feedback so far. My sister has talked about the issue openly in the past and is well aware she has a problem that needs to be addressed. She has pretty much tried everything to combat this weight issue. My and my parents have brought it up in the past even when she did not first bring it up. And we did it…