whatkatydidnext

I think you're all reading into this way too deeply. There's not a chance in hell I would jump into this if he had bad credit or clearly wasn't going to pay his way. I'm not an idiot. Anyway, I'll leave you all to it.

Hey, just thought I'd pop back in to give you all an update. I'm not one to give up on things that easily, so the many cries to dump him fell on deaf ears. ;) Anyway, the day after posting this, I was sitting at work feeling sad and p*ssed off about the situation, so I wrote him an email telling him that we'd be talking…

Thanks for your replies everyone. I've certainly got a lot to think about. I think a good start would be to have a serious talk about things, sooner rather than later. I'm off to bed. Goodnight.

I've not spoken to my family about it. My friends who know him well, reassure me that he loves me, from witnessing how he acts towards me.

No, I'm certain there's no one else. We work the same hours and he would have to take someone back to his parents if he was seeing them. He's generally either here or at home.

Good question. I'm often the advice giver, but it's easy to give it out. Honestly, I wouldn't say to give it all up before having a good talk about the way things are. It seems a waste ending an otherwise good relationship. We're very well suited (apart from in future plans, it seems...). I just wish I didn't find it so…

He lived with a girlfriend in his early 20s. She had severe depression and he says he felt obligated to live with her. The relationship ended and he moved out. He did live away from home for a long time and returned about 9 years ago. He's obviously stayed ever since. His dad's even asked him if he's waiting for them to…

I don't like to look at it as years down the drain, when that's simply not true. It makes me sad when friends' relationships break up and they bemoan the wasted years. There's plenty of good memories to be taken that people forget when they've been hurt. If I did finish this relationship and found another man, I'm not…

They were two completely different issues though. It was my fault that I stayed in the other relationship for so long - he didn't want to break up and I broke his heart when I finished it.

I do understand that. I was with someone for 9 years and for half of that was unhappy and I didn't love him any more, but carried on as things 'weren't that bad'. This time though, my feelings are very different, which is why I'm so confused.

Nah, I'm a Kramer girl.

I suppose I'm scared to finish things as I am so in love with him. I can't imagine ending a relationship when I feel that way. I did go through a '**** him' phase a few weeks after the talk and distanced myself for a bit and even applied for a couple of jobs miles away from home (I would have had to have relocated if…

I know and weirdly, it's the living together thing that gets to me more. I genuinely believe that he does love me though, but he's just to emotionally stunted to realise that's how he feels. He is incredibly loving towards me. I'm sure I'll get slated for saying that though.

He wasn't 38 when we got together and I wasn't aware of his living situation at first.

Ha, in fairness to him, he gets none of those things. I hope.

I don't necessarily want everything done my way. I'm a big believer in compromise. It would also be nice if he moved out of home and got his own place, as I'd quite like to not be the host sometimes. He can certainly afford it, not having paid bills for the past god knows how many years!