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The Man Rules
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are OUR rules: Please note… these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.…
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Second Annual Virtual 5k
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! The Royal Order is happy to announce our second annual Virtual 5k. (Because the oarsmen are STILL grumbling) On December 14 th all Loyal members are encouraged to compete in the 5 k of their choice, walking, running, or rowing. It may be completed alone, or as a group, outside, or on a treadmill or rower.…
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Redneck Book of Manners
TIPS FROM THE REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the…
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Sexual Calorie Counter
Sexual Calorie Counter It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research I am proud to present the results: REMOVING HER CLOTHES: With her consent………………….12…
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Interesting!
Researchers for the Massachusetts Turnpike Authority found over 200 dead crows near greater Boston recently, and there was concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Bird Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was definitely NOT Avian Flu. The cause of…
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31 Reasons I'm Still Fat
1. I am virtually powerless in the presence of those two sadistic hippie *kitten*, Ben and Jerry. 2. Buying clothes off the rack is not nearly as satisfying as having to get everything "made special." 3. In every single food equation, fat equals flavor. Do the math. 4. I'm tackling my New Year's resolutions one at a time…
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A New Tale to Be Told (The Epic of Craig)
At night when the warriors return to the fold, the ale is drunk and the stories told. They look to past and battles since fought, they speak of the victories all men have sought. And yet there are few, the legends, the gods. The ones hushed in whispers and noted with nods. But this tale that I tell is not that far gone. It…
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The royal order Profile
Brothers, we have a profile that is for use by everyone in the Order, the username and password are posted on the profile, If you are new to the Order please send a Friend Request This profile and the next person on will add you. We have a lot of fun with this profile as only members can see the posts on the wall and all…
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Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target. Dear…
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Awesome. Simply Awesome.
http://dudefoods.com/beer-bacon-battered-deep-fried-doritos/
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Beer
B is for the bubbles bubbling Es for never enough E again for not enough (super original) then Rs for my tummy rumbling Hops and grains and yeast in barrels Copper tubs and vats Straight to my belly golden liquid Turns to burping gas (brrrragh) The lonely nights you fill with joy The ugly broads turn hotties And if the…
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Rate The Person Above You!
Yeah, just kidding. Hugs and Kisses, The Anonymous Middle Aged Fat Man
