Expectations: Keeping it Real

Sarauk2sf · March 2013

So, this is probably going to end up looking like some rambling verbal diarrhea, but I wanted to put some thoughts out there and as I am at 10,000 posts (sad I know), I thought it good timing, so please indulge me.

The term ’everyone is different’ is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me as it is used far too often and usually incorrectly, much like the term ‘starvation mode’. However, in the context of this post, it is apropos.

Anyhoo, the point I will be trying to get across with this post, probably completely unsuccessfully, is the importance of keeping it real, from an expectation as to weight loss, body composition and fitness perspective.

The first thoughts I would like to share are regarding weight loss progress. Weight loss can be hard. We have to balance it with our lives. We are hungry sometimes, we ache from our workouts and we have to get up early or get to bed late just to get it done sometimes. Dieting and exercise puts stress on our bodies that can cause hormonal imbalances also. I know it I have turned into a whiny and slightly crazy bish at times over the last year. You have periods where your weight loss is stalling which can become demotivating, especially when others around you are losing at an apparent greater pace than you. This can sometimes lead to either overcompensation or to an ‘eff it’ mentality, neither of which are conducive to meeting long term goals.

My advice is to:

- Re-assess your numbers. Are you really weighing and logging everything? Are you really putting as much effort in the gym as you used to?

- If you are not, then you know what to do about it

- If you are, then have a think whether you need to tweak anything, but it is often a good idea to check your new plans with someone you trust first, especially if you are thinking of changing things up quite a bit. Often we are too close to the problem and come up with something too extreme (read, crazy) when a small tweak is a much better course of action.

- Occasionally we all need a break so there is nothing wrong with taking a diet and/or training break for sanity’s sake every now and again – just make sure you have a set time frame to get back in the game.

- Above all, be patient. Focus on how far you have come – take progress photos and measurements. Remind yourself of your progress. Look to the other achievements you have made. Are you running faster or lifting heavier than you were 1, 3 or 6 months ago? Weight loss and fitness go hand in hand and should be looked at holistically.

Moving on to my thoughts on body composition, we are barraged with images of people that we want to strive towards, both in the media and on this site. First of all, those images are not necessarily ‘real life’. The images in the media have been taken with ideal lighting and at camera angles that are the most flattering and have been photo-shopped up the wazoo. Even the images on here can be misleading. I know damn well I only post my most flattering pictures and not ones that show the reality of my cellulite (yes, I have it) or my muffin top if I lean at a certain angle or the poochy bloat I get later in the day. The point I am trying to make here is that while media pictures or pictures of others on here can, and should, be inspirational, trying to look like someone’s picture can be demotivating if taken too literally. We all have limitations due to genetics as to what we can achieve. All we can do is strive to be the best we can be with the tools we have. Will I ever get my *kitten* to look like my image of the ‘perfect *kitten*’?…no. However, the only thing that can stop me getting my *kitten* to look as good as it can, given the limitations of genetics, is me.

I came across a blog the other day from The_dizzle that caught my eye. I am including a couple of extracts (with her kind permission) as it is very relevant to one of the points I am trying to make:

“..posing makes a HUGE difference in how you will appear in your photos. You can pose to stretch out a problem area...bend a leg at the right angle to give the appearance of a thinner thigh, pop your hips back to lean out your back and pull up your booty, suck it in (who doesn't do this?!), etc”

“our lighting source is going to make the biggest difference in how your photos come out. I'm a former pro photographer (that should explain some stuff for you!) and I learned how the light affects the final results. Soft light vs hard light. Overhead light vs light from the side. The sun as a main light source vs reflected light. Etc. It's all a manipulation of light and shadows to showcase and highlight areas we wish to share.”

“So friends, don't get hung up on the beauty of another. Maybe it's contrived, maybe it's genuine. We have all heard and should know by now that beauty comes from within. Confidence can take a girl from a 5 to a 10 on the hotness scale. And rather than stay hung up on what we don't have - keep your focus on what you are working your tail off TO HAVE”

Here is a link to a great thread that shows why we should not focus too much on trying to look like people in the media - even they do not look like those people in the media! Thank you to the OP of that thread for letting me link here.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/982475-this-is-a-photoshop-signed-a-graphic-artist-with-pics

Side note: I would also like to make it clear that I do not expect my image of the ‘perfect *kitten*’ to be anyone else’s idea of the perfect *kitten*. If someone does not want, for example, visible muscles, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, just as there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting them. Let’s not try to force our individual personal tastes on others. I also want to make the point that people have different priorities. Is it worth the effort to work on making those final changes to body composition? Sometimes it just is not, and that is absolutely fine and to be honest, probably a healthier mind set in many situations, than to keep striving for something when that pursuit impacts other aspects of your life negatively.

My final point (thank goodness I hear you say) is with regard to lifting stats (or any other fitness related stats for that matter). There are many posts that show people’s lifting stats. I often post mine as it is something that I have a very strong motivation to improve. However, I urge you not to get hung up on how much someone else can lift. Focus on what *you* can lift and strive to make continual progress against your own results. Also, remember that many of the times the stats posted are not comparable. I mean, who knows if those squat stats are in the Smith Machine or are ¼ squats, so comparisons are often meaningless anyway. People are at very different stages in their progress and we all have a different potential due to genetics, training intensity, LBM, size etc etc. If you started lifting say 2 months ago, there is absolutely no point in comparing your stats to someone who has been training for a year, other than seeing it as a possibility for you in another 10 months time. That is also assuming that you are able to train with the same regularity/intensity and are approximately the same weight (which is why Y x body weight is a better gauge to use if you do want to use one). Do not let other people’s stats make you feel like you are not as good or weak. That is not the case. You are just at a different stage and may have very different priorities or life circumstances.

TL;DR version. Use others as inspiration, but not as a gauge to *your* success or achievements. Also, when the going gets tough, focus on how far you have progressed in all your goals, not just weight loss. Above all, as always…be patient.