Emotional Eating
Diane4life
Posts: 5 Member
I'm sure each of you at one time or another has felt the impact of losing someone you love, be it your significant other, your beloved four legged friend, or possibly a distant or occasional friend. I recently had to make that difficult decision to put down my 15 year old akita chow mix. While the rational part of my brain tells me what I did was appropriate and needed, the emotional side of me, that part that held this dog close to my heart, still hurts.
While its only been a couple of months, and coupled with the fact that I volunteer at the local shelter where I can receive lots of doggie cuddle time and friendly interactions, I'm doing ok. I need a dog in my life, I miss my sidekick, my walking buddy, my closest friend. While I tell myself I've begun my search for my next best friend I'm finding it hard to commit. I thought I was taking home two very different dogs and even said yes to the adoption staff both times, when suddenly I found myself stopping, reluctant to commit.
I'm a senior, with some medical issues, and so it seems i'm using that as an excuse not to commit. But I sense I'm simply not ready. I'm not sure why, perhaps I fear the commitment, although I've always had a dog in my life, and don't view the commitment issue as a major factor. Finances, yes, I'm fully aware of the commitment there when you bring a new member into your family. Big versus a much smaller dog, a necessary change I must make because of my medical issues as I age.
Perhaps the dog size issue demands some adjustment; when you've lived with a much larger dog most of your life the idea of downsizing dog size-wise brings up all sorts of questions and concerns. With a larger dog I felt safe walking down the street and living alone Could a small dog offer up such comfort? Yes they bark and would warn me if a stranger is near but somehow I sense I will now be selecting a companion dog and not so much a guardian. For me that takes some time to think through and readjust my focus.
Luckily I find myself eating correctly, still exercising, and going out with friends. My home is lonely without my dog, my two cats are helping me though but I truly miss my dog and I sense they do as well. I admit it, maybe that's it, I still need to mourn. I'm hoping that once i work through this, I'll find my next dog. Any thoughts out there as to how I can move on?
While its only been a couple of months, and coupled with the fact that I volunteer at the local shelter where I can receive lots of doggie cuddle time and friendly interactions, I'm doing ok. I need a dog in my life, I miss my sidekick, my walking buddy, my closest friend. While I tell myself I've begun my search for my next best friend I'm finding it hard to commit. I thought I was taking home two very different dogs and even said yes to the adoption staff both times, when suddenly I found myself stopping, reluctant to commit.
I'm a senior, with some medical issues, and so it seems i'm using that as an excuse not to commit. But I sense I'm simply not ready. I'm not sure why, perhaps I fear the commitment, although I've always had a dog in my life, and don't view the commitment issue as a major factor. Finances, yes, I'm fully aware of the commitment there when you bring a new member into your family. Big versus a much smaller dog, a necessary change I must make because of my medical issues as I age.
Perhaps the dog size issue demands some adjustment; when you've lived with a much larger dog most of your life the idea of downsizing dog size-wise brings up all sorts of questions and concerns. With a larger dog I felt safe walking down the street and living alone Could a small dog offer up such comfort? Yes they bark and would warn me if a stranger is near but somehow I sense I will now be selecting a companion dog and not so much a guardian. For me that takes some time to think through and readjust my focus.
Luckily I find myself eating correctly, still exercising, and going out with friends. My home is lonely without my dog, my two cats are helping me though but I truly miss my dog and I sense they do as well. I admit it, maybe that's it, I still need to mourn. I'm hoping that once i work through this, I'll find my next dog. Any thoughts out there as to how I can move on?
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When I lost my first cat, I told my family I wasn't in a rush to replace her as I couldn't imagine another cat filling the void I had in my heart. Midnight had been mine since she was a kitten and had always been there when I needed someone to talk to. After 16 years, suddenly she wasn't there anymore.
I found I wasn't sleeping well and after a few weeks of missing the weight of her curled up in my bed, I admitted that perhaps I was ready to start looking. Midnight was adopted from a litter that was abandoned at the local vet and I wanted to adopt another cat from somewhere vs just buy one. I've always liked the idea of being able to give an animal a loving home that perhaps didn't have one.
Now, as luck would have... there happened to be a litter of kittens that were up for adoption at the vet's (someone had brought a stray cat into their home only to have it give birth to a litter that night. That person kept the mother cat and one of the kittens, but couldn't manage a full litter). I wasn't specifically set on getting a kitten vs a grown cat, but I agreed to go in and see them.
The three kittens I saw were all very different. One was very timid and shy like Midnight was, another was calm but playful... and then... there's the one that melted my heart and proved to me that I was capable of finding love again.
Gizmo managed to fall off the examining table and before anyone could pick him up, he booked it right to the front part of the vet office. Somehow I ended up catching him and he immediately nuzzled up in my arms and fell asleep purring. From that moment he was mine.
Midnight was very much so a quiet timid cat. We quickly found out that Gizmo was the opposite. He was super energetic, overly attached, and a beyond curios cat. To this day if he decides he does not approve of where you have put something on a shelf or a counter, he will knock it off. There are moments where I wonder what in the world possessed me to pick him over one of his more quieter brothers, but as soon as he hops up into my lap, nuzzles and curls up purring, I remember.
I will never forget Midnight, but Gizmo now and always will have a special place in my heart right next to her. I know one day Gizmo too will likely pass on, and I like to think that perhaps by then another furry companion will have entered my heart - be it another cat or perhaps a dog.
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Take your time. Loosing a friend isn't easy, but you will know when that magical special someone comes along. You have an amazing volunteer job and perhaps with time that perfect someone will come along without you even realizing it.
*hugs*0
