so there was this guy in the gym . . .

canadianlbs
canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
edited October 2014 in Social Groups
i just have to tell this story, i guess. i mentioned it in my daily update a week or so back, but it's still sitting there in my head.

there was this guy at the gym. he showed up while i was between sets with squats or something, and i kept trying to not look at him. and kept failing at it. he had The Biggest Biceps I've Ever Seen. honestly, like the rest of his body was just a kind of transport system for them, and they weren't just disproportiately big; they were all lumpy and blocky and they looked like growths. little spindly legs, sticking out the bottom of those long silky shorts that come down past someone's knees. and flat feet. his upper arms were at least as big as my upper thighs, but only his upper arms. and when he wanted to turn to his left or right his whole body had to rotate to carry the biceps along. forearms sort of cocked out in front of him a little, like a t-rex or almost like he was holding out some kind of invisible tray to present the biceps even more fully to you.

so he came in in his silky shorts and flat feet and these huge lumpy misshapen arm muscles already all out on display, and he stood somewhere around the smith machine with his forearms sort of cocked up in front of him, slightly t-rex-y type look. and he just stood there turning slowly from side to side, like a lighthouse or one of those lawn sprinklers that go back and forth. each turn a little wider each time. like just processing this new environment was a little too much for him. and that's around when i realised his top teeth were on display the whole time and his nose was sort of pointed into the air, so now he looked to me like a giant gerbil as well, with his nose up and those teeth and those little paws dangling down in front of his belly like that. i studied him for a while but i never got rid of the conviction that he physically couldn't get his mouth closed because his biceps were so huge they were using up all the available skin, all the way up to his nose.

i really wanted him to come and do curls in the squat rack, SO BAD. then i thought maybe i was being unfair, and he was actually someone who did do some kind of more general workout, or was at least in there to try and balance things out . . . but nope. i carried on with my own workout but every now and then i'd catch sight of him wandering around like a lost gorilla looking for somewhere to put those muscles down. did maybe half a pullup, wandered some more, kind of drifted past the dumbbell racks but didn't try to pick any of them up . . . it didn't look like he could straighten his arms or bend his back enough to reach down to grip one, actually. but finally i guess he found the curl bar, right around the time i was settling in on the bench. next thing i knew, i was in the middle of my own set and there he suddenly is, doing his super-arm curls two feet from the mirror, about TWO INCHES OUT OF MY BAR PATH where i was on the bench. and he was kipping and arching so much with every huge curl, they should have given him a room of his own to do his own workout in, for the safety of everyone else.

i kind of lost track of him after that. i guess he curled his 15 reps with his 160 pounds and went off to drink at the watering hole. i know i shoved his bar out of my way when i sat up between sets because it was right under my feet. i thought he was done and had just dropped it there for the cleaning lady to tidy away i suppose. but then he came back a few sets (of mine) later and started doing the same thing again in exactly the same spot. i honestly don't think he was aware of anything but his own image in the mirror, because i had to ask him for a little more space, and got an inch and a half. i'm kind of sorry i didn't keep my eye on him for the rest of the story because i would have liked to at least watch him trying to put on a jacket over those arms when he went home. but by then i was sort of tired of the whole creeped-out-staring factor, and i didn't.

post has no real purpose, i guess. but i was so boggled i guess it's just one of those things you can't move on from until it's been shared. most of the people i see around in my rec centre/gym are so normal and so generally polite, this guy was like when you live in a sleepy small town and the freak show comes through.
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Replies

  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
    lol... t-rex gerbil... I love you

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  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
    edited October 2014
    Was it this guy

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  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
    Hulk skipped leg day
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  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
    I should really shut up and go to bed.
  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
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  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
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  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
    Yeah ok I'm done now
  • chubby_checkers
    chubby_checkers Posts: 2,353 Member
    I laughed. I couldn't help it. The biceps using all the available skin thing killed me. It also made me think of the guy with the largest biceps in the world:
    1394605837-biggest-biceps-1.jpg

    He injects something (I can't remember what it's called. Synthol or something like that) to get them that size.
  • ketoandbarbell
    ketoandbarbell Posts: 189 Member
  • Llamapants86
    Llamapants86 Posts: 1,221 Member
    And I think I have my next Halloween costume all figured out....
    Thanks for the lol's!
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    can't stop laughing at all the pictures. thanks :D
    It also made me think of the guy with the largest biceps in the world:

    EWWW. this guy was in that kind of zone, not quite that size, but his muscles were uglier. honestly, they looked . . . medical. as in 'dude, have you shown those to a doctor yet? GO! take my car!'

    sad thing was, there's this little group of young guys with strongman plans who really are in there working seriously on their whole bodies and doing everything with perfect form and all the right everything. i mean, they annoy me for the way they take over the place, but as far as their technique and their approach and their workout habits, i'm just all respect. and then this visitor from planet steroid shows up and they're all around him like little kids, chattering.

  • LazyFoodie
    LazyFoodie Posts: 217 Member
    Haha. I hope to see some dude like that one day just for the giggles. At least he is not taking up the equipment you need :smiley:
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited October 2014
    yeah . . . i mean, they looked like they ought to be lanced.
  • danirosevoelkel
    danirosevoelkel Posts: 511 Member
    OMG, I can't breathe! This was the best thing I've read all day!
  • annaskiski
    annaskiski Posts: 1,212 Member
    "forearms sort of cocked out in front of him a little, like a t-rex"

    LOL, OMG, I can't work now....
  • i studied him for a while but i never got rid of the conviction that he physically couldn't get his mouth closed because his biceps were so huge they were using up all the available skin, all the way up to his nose.

    YOU. ARE. HILARIOUS. I love this.

    I have a crystal clear picture of what he looks like because of this. ^^

    xo to infinity.
    C.
  • @ Threnjen -- MORE PICS PLEASE!
  • floridachikk
    floridachikk Posts: 41 Member
    Bahahaha! I'm so glad I read this! I could tell that you wanted to not stare... to give him the benefit of the doubt. But then- There was a friggin T-rex Gerbil at your gym! D : Who would be strong enough to look away??? And how could anyone be sure of their safety if they did?!

    And I agree with crabada- more leg day pictures, please! Lol
  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
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  • threnjen
    threnjen Posts: 687 Member
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