so there was this guy in the gym . . .
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someone found and re-sent me this thing that i sent her a few years ago. it dates from the one-and-only time i tried to do 'group' physiotherapy through the arthritis society. it was a bunch of other women all at least 20 years old than me, and one man . . . and this kind of physiotherapist who was kind of that don't-ask-just-do-what-i-say easily frustrated school.
physio: *buncha yammer about breathing and the pelvic floor muscles*
class: *trying hard* *confused*
physio: *growing irritated. displays what he's talking about on the life-sized skeletal and other models*
elderly lady in sweatpants #1: ohhh, that's just the kegel muscles!
e.l.i.s. #4: why didn't you just say so?
physio (who is polish): kegel? what means kegel?
e.l.i.s #3: *placid and blanchingly graphic description of kegel muscles, without turning one single blue-rinsed hair* *plus the whole prep-for-labour concept.
physio: okay, fine. if that's what you want to call them. so this should be easy for you, no need for so much fuss.
lone man in class: *looks earnest but lost* what about me?
physio *annoyed*: well, i don't know about you.
e.l.i.s.: gee, i don't know if men have kegel muscles.
class: *discussion among selves. various helpful suggestions about john and his not-so-kegels. physio sorts all that out. breathing re-starts*
earnest e.l.i.s #5, suddenly, mid-breath: does it matter if we breathe through our nose or our mouth?
*collapse of me in a giggling fit*
physio, seriously annoyed: ?? no of course not. this ain't friggin' yoga. stop asking questions. start again and do it right. in - tighten vagina. out - relax vagina. in - . . .
me, side of mouth to e.l.i.s #9: keep this up he'll have us all breathing through our vaginas next week.0 -
Lol at the breakfast table over this post^ and of course my kids are all what's so funny Mom...!!0
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lol
Today I went mid day, so different people than my usual. Some women lifting, which is always nice to see. Had an interesting bit come up when I was warming up in the power cage. A couple of guys were using the squat rack but stepping out of it so they could do side step / lunge things. When they were done a woman asked them about the rack. I didn't quite catch what they said, but in return she made an off the cuff comment about how she needed for squats. Her and a friend used the squat rack, taking turns. I saw them later doing other things on the smith machine and doing hip thrusts. Got to say they are brave. I find the hip thrust awkward in general so do it very late so there are less people around. But it was good to see someone do them as I always question my form a little.
And what I don't see at the 11 pm lifts, trainers. Saw a few walk by over the time I spent lifting. Some working out with clients, others showing new ones around and such. Nothing noteworthy yet but we'll see how my earlier lifting days go from now on.0 -
I love this thread.
Today there were a bunch of new-to-me people in the gym over lunch. I was working on my squats and I heard THE WEIRDEST NOISE EVER. It sounded like a really happy dolphin, and in the power cages it's not something I'm used to hearing.
I looked around discretely trying to see what was up.
There was a pretty normal looking guy doing 135# deadlifts and his "effort sound" was the dolphin squeak... And he didn't look at all self-conscious about it. Actually, he looked pretty pleased with himself.
Then I saw his trainer address him in sign language and I wanted to hi-five the everyone on the floor for minding their own business while managing to look just as pleased with him as he seemed to be with his own accomplishment. Rock on, dude.0 -
yesterday was a pretty good one. i went early (for me) so as to avoid the crazy selfish orphan annie/human rooster woman, and that worked just fine. she came strutting in just as i was on my way out. but instead the squat king was in there, and he was aallllll on his own.
i'm fascinated by the squat king and his set, in a totally soap-opera gossipy way. there's him and the pec prince on one side of the triangle. on the other is the little matchstick girl with the insanely strong lifts. when i first noticed her the squat king was coaching her, which was a couple of months ago. then after a week or two i saw the pec prince doing the same thing with her. i had just reached the conclusion based on body language etc that she was a sort of universal little sister to the whole group, although clearly not genetically related to any of them . . . but then i passed her and the squat king while we were all leaving the gym one evening, and outside the building they were holding hands.
so i promoted her to girlfriend status was happy for oh, a couple of weeks. next thing that happens is that she's still in there all the time, always working hard and always extremely focused, and damn me if the pec prince isn't doing most of the coaching this time. i figured it was now a wingman type of configuration. squat king has to work or something and he's deputizing the training over to his own greatest buddy.
except then one day i'm deadlifting near the pullup zone and mr pecs is putting her into a weightlifting belt and showing her how all that works. providing her with a stepping stool so she can reach the handles, pulling it away from under once she's up. and when she was done and ready to come down again the body language was absolutely unmistakeable. it was totally, utterly, mr-rochester-helps-little-jane-eyre-to-jump-over-a-stile. and i thought uh oh. someone is in love with somebody else's girlfriend.
since then i've mostly just spent my time hoping she doesn't get designated the designing little *kitten* who broke up a great friendship with all her womanly wiles, just because they're all getting crushes on her. i can't see a shred of any of that anywhere in her own behaviour, at any point. and plus, i like her and i'd feel really fierce if it ended up that she's 'not allowed' to come lifting and get as strong as she can because of reactions like this. but it does seem like the group as a whole has atomized and dispersed quite a bit. i see all of them, but i tend to see them all individually now.
which is nice for me i guess, because no more four-hour monopolies of the only rack in the room.0 -
I had to try so hard not to laugh at the gym today...there was this guy that came in, and in between every single set of every lift he did - pulled up his shirt and looked at his abs in the mirror! I mean, really, does he think his abs look different after doing seated bicep curls?0
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I had to try so hard not to laugh at the gym today...there was this guy that came in, and in between every single set of every lift he did - pulled up his shirt and looked at his abs in the mirror! I mean, really, does he think his abs look different after doing seated bicep curls?
lol!! you never know . . . maybe he's checking to see how his sets of crunches from yesterday's workout are coming along.
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guy in the gym today . . . well, really a kid. hard to guess at his age but he must have had the 16-year minimum, anyway.
sat on the bench in the smith machine a few feet from me while i was doing ohp and a few other things . . . picking his zits. like, really not doing anything else, and taking his time about it. then he expanded his scope and started finding ingrown hairs to pick at all over other parts of his body as well.
luckily i realised somewhere along the way that he probably wasn't fully responsible for himself, so i didn't just turn nasty at him. after 20 minutes or i went and talked to the gym attendant, who found the kid's own attendant, and the attendant did or said something or other that took care of it.
i felt like a meanie, kind of. but it really was starting to make me queasy. and the attendant did handle it much better than i could have done.
other people-watch: little old chinese grandmother woman being given serious introductory training by the same attendant for about an hour. wearing the straight-leg polyester slacks and little cashmere-y cardigan and mao slippers little old grandmas like her always do seem to wear. it was something to watch her doing pushups and squats in that gear.0 -
I missed this one. I keep forgetting about the random people at the gym by the time I have a moment to type it out. Maybe I'll have something to post later this week.0
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Havn't been around our group in a while, but I am back in the gym regularly now so I have some funnies to share.
This week is the mid 40's Asian woman with BRIGHT RED HAIR...she wears it in a high pony that looks way too good at 5am and her outfits all match perfectly. She uses the stair machine and when she walks up there is some major attitude with it. Part of me giggles at the ridiculousness of it and the other part of me wants to high five her for sashaying her way on a stairclimber!!0 -
I wish I could look put together first thing in the morning and at the gym. I didn't even bother with a bra this morning... (I workout in my basement so it isn't that bad but yeah getting down there is my only concern at that time)1
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This week is the mid 40's Asian woman with BRIGHT RED HAIR...she wears it in a high pony that looks way too good at 5am and her outfits all match perfectly.
like this woman who comes to the 'women who lift' thing that i used to go to before i found my own formal person to do training with. she's like aerobics barbie, right down to the huge-tumble-of-hair ponytail and the jewel in her (exposed) navel. but you can't bimbo-diss a woman who says she does up to 500 squats every day and is training seriously for some kind of figure competition. muscle is muscle, and this woman has it.
i had an encounter on saturday that is still irking/baffling me. i really really think there's some kind of care-in-community thing going on with people who are very high functioning but still not, you should excuse me for saying it, entirely all-there on the social level.
this . . . i'm going to call her a girl, ok? she's a physical adult, but everything else about her screamed 12-year-old girl. she's like selfish-crossfit-woman's baby sister. in fact, i auto-assumed she was with selfish-crossfit-woman, which is one reason why the encounter was so awkward.
she barges up to me when i'm between sets in the rack.
12-yo: hiiiiiiii!
me: er. hello.
12-yo: i see you in here all the time and i'm sorry . . . i don't know your name.
me: er. *are you supposed to?* it's [12-yo talks]
12-yo: what?
me: *repeats name*
12-yo: !!! *bff beam* that's my middle name!
me: *leaning ever further backwards, stopped by the bar* it's a very popular middle name.
12-yo: i'm [name]. it's great to finally meet you!
me: ur? hello [name].
12-yo: *waits* . . . so, anyway. you lift a lot of weight!
me: *backwardser still*
12-yo: i'm jealous
me: *wtf?* *looks surreptitiously around for selfish crossfit woman* uh. well. thank you.
12-yo: *expectancy*
me: *wtf does she want? form tips? is this some fiendish back-handed putdown? wtf???*
12-yo: well, see you around!
me: *ohthankgroke* right. bye
i went back to work and later saw her sitting ON the counter that separates the attendants from everyone else. all snuggled and cuddly wtih her legs curled up beside her and her hoodie down, like she thought she was in some kind of window seat. i honestly am not trying to be offensive with the care-in-community crack, but i just don't know what else i should think.
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been meaning for a while to report on this bunch of about four high school kids i've been seeing around (side note: how come it's so hard to count individual teenagers? it's like they all just kind of blend together into a clump for me). anyway, it's been a long time since i saw anyone in the rec centres who actually scared me, but these children do.
all they seem to do is bench press. and they do it BADLY. way way way way too heavy for any of them, which means none of them is getting a chance to learn any kind of good form. but even more frightening is they're all prone to giggle attacks, and they don't seem to have realised how dangerous it is to destabilize someone who's got 95 pounds suspended right over his throat.
i said something to them the last time i saw them, but i could feel i was about to get all high-horse and preachy and go on a parent-style rant that would have made no impression at all. so all i said was that they were frightening me and they really needed to take a time out and not come back until they were settled down. i don't think they quite got it, but if i see them again i think i am going to go ask whoever's on duty at the desk to drift by and do an intervention with them. they really really need a bit of guidance before someone gets badly hurt.0 -
So when I was on the cruise ship there was this piece of strength equipment that was a bunch of pulleys that would convert to do a bunch of crap - the only thing you could do squats in and was the most weight out of all the machines. Of course it was broken. My experience is I never get to use the machine as it's the best thing there and people never get off it.
So while I was working out I saw some young guy grab the top bars of the broken machine. It looks like the machine has a pullup/chinup bar on the top however there is not enough clearance room to do anything with it. I whisper to the bro next to me and said "bet he hits his head." Then bam, that young guy smashed his head on the ceiling. For idiot measure, he hit his head 2 more times before stopping. We were laughing at him so hard.
Another thing I saw was middle aged women do weird *kitten* with 5lbs dumbbells and bosu balls. One complained to me that she wishes there was 2lbs dumbbells as 5lbs is too heavy and tried to get sympathy. I told her to ask the staff as I grabbed the 70lb dumbbell. Her and her husband were whispering and pointing at me after that.0 -
Few things over the last week.
Set of guys who work out together on occasion. I've seen them more than once so this is a combination of those times. You can tell one of them is more into lifting than the other as he has to be coaxed into doing certain lifts and doesn't put much into them when it's one he doesn't particularly want to do that night. The fun part is catching some of their conversations. They go back and forth from typical bro stuff about lifting, how much more they can lift than each other and such part of the time all the way to nerd gaming talk the other parts of the time. I'm talking character level ups, dragons and such. One minute it's "oh look, another set of bros" and then it goes to "wait, is my roommate here" cause my roommate spends his days at home gaming and I can hear him talking sometimes cause he uses the headset to interact with friends in the games they play.
There is a young woman I've seen use the smith machine a number of times over the past few months. I see her use that and some of the leg machines. She sort of squats but her stance is different than more squats that I've seen. She has her feet closer together and a little in front of the bar. Also, she goes at a quick pace for each rep. Not sure on reasoning or what she's specifically working with that, maybe trying to target hamstrings more or something, I dunno.
Last night there was a guy wearing a beanie hat and had on big headphones. Did a number of dumbbell lifts and used the fixed weight bars too. Even saw him do skull crushers, all of which was fine. But on one where he'd lift the bar up to his chin while standing, once he decided he was done after getting the last few reps in, he'd just let it drop to the floor. Not like he was shaky or at the point of failure. Just a "meh, I'm done" type of drop.0 -
DawnEmbers wrote: »Last night there was a guy wearing a beanie hat and had on big headphones.
please tell me they were on OVER the beanie. the bar-dropping sounds like someone's a crossfit groupie and thinks its all cool n stuff.
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Yeah, they were over the beanie, not under it.
That was probably the guy who was doing some type of clean/jerk thing in the corner is associated with, cross fit groupie thing. He dropped the bar with 35's on it so far that it actually bounced up and he'd basically catch it near his hips. Seriously, dude was annoying that time. Different guy though... I think. Hard to remember.0 -
DawnEmbers wrote: »Different guy though... I think. Hard to remember.
heh. if he's hard to remember, he must have failed in his mission to make himself noticeable with throwing the equipment around.
this friday yoga woman is going to be a selection of stories. one of those hinty sideswiper types you can't call passive aggressive, but only because her motivation is not aggressive.
'i see some socks here' means that she's looking at me. 'actually, removing the socks is a great way to get extra traction' seems to mean 'take 'm off'. 'you might want to . . . ' means '-->>>IIIIII<<<--- want you to'.
i'm ignoring every word of it. she wants my socks off, she's gonna have to look me in the eye and say it in so many words. i've decided 50 is too old to be doing other adults' work for them, especially when it comes to expressing their wants.
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I need the 20-pound dumbbells. Look around, see that a guy is using them. I wait patiently for a moment, and he finishes his set and puts the dumbbells back in the rack. Putting things back in a rack, as far as I know, is the universal symbol for I AM DONE WITH THESE. Also, he walks away. I pick up the dumbbells, do one set of bent-over rows, and place them on the floor under the bench I'm using while I rest for a moment (the universal symbol for I AM NOT DONE WITH THESE). Guy walks over and without saying a word picks up the dumbbells from under the bench with me standing there and starts to walk away.
I was so startled that I didn't say anything for a second. It was as if I were invisible. Then I said, "Excuse me, I'm using those."
And he replied, "I had them first!"
It was so childish that I almost laughed out loud, or said, "But I called them! I have dibs!" He did one quick set and put them back in the rack, and then I guess he was done for good because I didn't see him again.0 -
Well I work out at home so my stories are pretty limited. However I had to workout in the evening last night because yesterday morning just didn't happen. So there is my tiny human dancing to the music and trying to count out the sets with me. 1,2, 6, 8, 3 is how this kid thinks you should count to five. I realize that if I worked out in the evening I would have her counting (up to about 8) pretty quick. And I got tired baby cuddles in my rest sets.0
