Week 4 blues

TheTrophyWife

Okay, I really want to be excited about starting week 4 but it feels like I'm starting on week 1. This is mostly due to my scale not moving in almost a week (yes I know the scale is an evil monster not to be trusted) and me being lazy over the weekend. I don't know why I think I can overcome 30+ years of bad living in a day. It's mental, I know it. I think I'm doing okay but then I looked at my food journal and got really discouraged. I changed my macros (again) because I was getting in (and sometimes over) 50g carbs a day. I adjusted that down to 21. It also looks like I'm having issues with protein. I'm not worried about the calories. I think I'm psyching myself out and this always happens. I feel like nothing I'm doing is going to matter. I don't even want to eat and I miss fruit so much it's not even funny. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE eating all of this fat but sometimes I want a gigantic bowl of watermelon (10g carbs per serving = about four cubes). I didn't miss it at all in the beginning but that was because I was just eating it without knowing about the carbs.

I'm mentally stuck. My scale isn't working right and I'm ready to give up on working out because I'm freaking exhausted (and lazy...don't forget lazy). Part of me wants the cry. The other part of me is getting ready to go eat lunch. I just don't want to keep failing. I'm feeling a little bit lost today. Oh...and the freaking ad on this page is for Hardee's/Carl Jr. It's a giant bacon cheeseburger with fries. I could so kill that right now.

nicsflyingcircus

It took me awhile of getting a feel for what I was doing to get my macros to a point that feels comfortable for me now. You can do this.

Side note.... go get the bacon cheeseburger, skip the bun and fries!

SteveKroll

First, I hate to say it, but by being so hard on yourself, you are only setting yourself up for failure. I know this from personal experience and a few failed diets.

Second, you need to find some way to get your mind off of forbidden foods. It sounds like you are obsessing about it. Rather than looking for the things you shouldn't have, instead think about all of the things that you CAN have. For me, I went for years not eating cheese. I love it but was always told how bad it is. Now I can eat it... in moderation.

As for weight loss plateau, sit down and figure out exactly WHY this is happening. You might just need a reboot of some sort. I hit a plateau a few weeks back (actually more like an up and down period). My failure was in thinking I could eat more protein than I should. I cut back on the protein, upped the fat, and BOOM - the weight immediately started falling off again.

Also, mentally, maybe you're just not in a place where dieting will work for you right now. If you're under stress, or having personal issues, you might want to go back and get those things sorted first. Then start again.

You just have to find what works for you.

But stop beating yourself up.

TheTrophyWife

My comment about the cheeseburger was to point out the irony. I guess that was a joke only I got.

I don't like to think that any food is forbidden. I may have to limit it or not have it for now but I want to get out of that way of thinking. I know I can have watermelon but at 10g carbs per serving it's not worth it right now. I was a five fruits/veggies per day person four weeks ago and I'm finding it hard to limit those things. They were supposed to be healthy.

I guess I may be obsessing a bit but I just want to do well. Also, that's just who I am. I'm also a bit of a perfectionist and an INTJ according to Myers-Briggs so... I can't help it.

ABrownGrl

Throw the scale away!!! Can you go 30 days without a weigh in? Just track your macros and have the goal of hitting your F/C/P, in a month step on the scale again and see what happens. I often have to put the scale away and refocus without the stress of how much weight I'm loosing.

I am also a perfectionist and it's difficult to not do this perfectly. During my weightloss journey I have gotten better about letting things go and understanding my body and that this process will probably be far from perfect, if it was I never would have weighed 283 pounds!

I know it's easier said than done, but don't be so hard on yourself You can do this....as long as you don't quit. One day at a time.

radiii

Don't forget PISS (Post Induction Stall Syndrome), its not uncommon at all to stall after the initial water weight drop. I think I lost a lot my first two weeks and then stalled out for 3 weeks, which is longer than most people stall at that point but it isn't unheard of, and I wasn't doing anything wrong. Try to keep that in mind and be patient

You do really want to try to keep the carbs tight consistently for awhile to get into a groove, get keto adapted, etc. Some people do fine on 50g carbs, but not everyone does. You really want to get yourself keto adapted on 20-25g net carbs a day and then figure out what you can handle ideally. That said, 50g is probably way way better than what you were doing before right? Its not possible to be perfect the whole time, so it'll be ok.

TheTrophyWife

Thanks for the advice. I think the biggest lesson I'm taking away from this is to not be so hard on myself especially when I decide to take a break. I can honestly say I don't have very many cravings but I do need breaks. This is a lot to take in, even with as easy as it is to eat this way. I was diagnosed as a disordered eater so for me, eating anything all day is big. I just started eating regularly on Nov 10 when I started keto. It's a lot less stressful than looking at the number of calories (2000+) I have to eat every day. If it wasn't for the fat I don't know what I'd do. Every other way of eating seems so overwhelming.

I don't have to throw out the scale. It's either broken or the batteries are dead. Those batteries can be a bit pricey so I guess I'm quitting the scale cold turkey. I'm also very exhausted with all of the exercising. My body hurts. I had back surgery in 2010 and it took a long time for me to be okay with exercising again. When it hurts, I don't want to do anything because I don't want to risk an injury. My trainer said there is some pain that you can push through and then there's the pain that you need to rest on. After 5 months with him, you'd think I'd know the difference. I think that subconsciously I'm afraid to stop when I hurt because I don't want to be seen as lazy or not wanting to work out. My knees lock up if I stand for too long and my sciatic nerve does what it wants when it wants. I guess I'm just going to have to tell him and take it from there.

Thanks again for all of the great advice. This is really a great group of folks.

DittoDan

TheTrophyWife wrote: »

<snip> I'm also very exhausted with all of the exercising. My body hurts. I had back surgery in 2010 and it took a long time for me to be okay with exercising again. When it hurts, I don't want to do anything because I don't want to risk an injury. My trainer said there is some pain that you can push through and then there's the pain that you need to rest on. After 5 months with him, you'd think I'd know the difference. I think that subconsciously I'm afraid to stop when I hurt because I don't want to be seen as lazy or not wanting to work out. My knees lock up if I stand for too long and my sciatic nerve does what it wants when it wants. I guess I'm just going to have to tell him and take it from there.

Thanks again for all of the great advice. This is really a great group of folks.

Trophy,

When I started this diet, I weighed 314 lbs. I have been as high as 330. I am sedentary. So much so, that I have lost my normal strength, meaning doing anything, including bending down to pick up things off the floor is difficult for me. I get severe pain if I just walk ten minutes. Which includes trips to the doctor to drain my knee and give me pain meds. I envy all those that can exercise. I also have sciatic nerve damage when I tried to walk about two blocks one day. That fix included a few trips to doc, and many trips in rehab.

Why am I telling you this? It seems to me, in another post that you are very heavy (like me). I am not so sure why you are trying to do the exercise part? I have lost 46 pounds in about 4 months averaging 3 lbs. a week loss without exercising.

So, until I lose much more weight, no exercising, you might do well to do the same...

Dan the Man from Sedentary Land

TheTrophyWife

Dan,

When I started out, I was at 330. I started in May trying to eat healthy and get moving. In the beginning it went well but very slow. I started seeing my trainer in July but I had managed to lose about 13 lbs on my own. I got a trainer because everyone says you have to exercise (create that calorie deficit!) and I wanted to work with someone who could show me how to modify my exercises. When we weighed that first week in November, the week before I started keto, I had lost only 5 lbs. I wanted to cry but I didn't. I wasn't even eating right up to that point so I knew losing the weight would be harder. I'd have maybe breakfast and I'd try to get in my 5 servings of fruits and veggies but it was so overwhelming.

To be as honest as a monk, I would really love to quit working out with my trainer for a while but I know that if I quit, I either won't do it on my own or...well that's about it. I know I won't do it on my own. I joined the gym in September and I've probably been about five times since then. I'm not intimidated, I just get tired and I hurt after just a little bit. But.... I WANT to lift weights. I really enjoy doing it and it will help with the loose skin but I feel that I just don't want to do it. Right now, my trainer is my accountability partner and it's hard to say no.

I guess that I have been brainwashed for so long that I have to exercise three times a week for no less than 30 minutes that believing I don't need to do it seems foreign. If I could find some research (please say you have something) that backs up that I don't need to exercise, I think it would be easier for me to come to terms with it. So much of my thinking has been jacked up years and years of attempts to lose weight. I started in elementary school. I swear I could write a book!

I really would like to just enjoy moderate movement at home instead of the boot camp drills. Also, I totally forgot that I'm working out today and did not prepare well. We'll see how it goes. I'm also going to talk to my trainer about how I feel.

ABrownGrl

Try this....might help with the pain. http://www.amazon.com/Collagen-Hydrolysate-beef-kosher-unflavored/dp/B005KG7EDU/ref=sr_1_1?s=grocery&ie=UTF8&qid=1418675719&sr=1-1&keywords=collagen+hydrolysate

I have had both ACL's rebuilt and have major pain in one still. I started the collagen because I've heard so much about it helping pain! Anything is worth trying in my mind...nothing worse than pain when you want to exercise.

And by throw the scale away, I just meant you don't need it. Don't let the scale define you. The scale isn't always your friend and seriously made me obsessive for a while. It wasn't a good thing either. Use a tape measure and how your clothes are fitting to determine your success!!

radiii

You don't need to exercise to lose weight. I'm not the best at looking up studies, but I read success stories and progress posts a lot, and sooooo many folks on keto get their weight loss started with diet only and once they lose some weight decide that its time to get more fit as well. But it seems extremely common to me to get started with diet only just to have to worry about one thing at a time.

My first 6 months of keto I didn't change a thing about my activity level, except for a little more standing instead of sitting b/c I was in the kitchen cooking more often, and a little more movement because I was buying my own groceries and not getting all my food from fast food windows or delivery anymore.

I'll also say that a lot of people report that their weight loss slows, or even stops for a bit, when they start exercising. That's not a bad thing necessarily, as most of those same people will report inches flying off during that stall, I guess that's a water weight/electrolyte thing.

Keto to lose pounds and improve your health. Trainer to improve your fitness and thus your health even more. It doesn't have to all happen at once if its overwhelming though.

fludderbye

i second that with the scale-

i am over what it tells me so i hid it -

I FEEL soo much better now then i used to...

TheTrophyWife

Thanks!

ABrownGirl: My scale is seriously broken or the battery is dying anyway so... this feels like torture. LOL! I've been married to the scale for so long that I'm a bit uncomfortable not getting on it. The habit is going to break itself. I know I'm losing inches and this is how I judge it: if I can pull down my pants without unbuttoning or unzipping. I can now do this with my newest pair of jeans. I also have jeans that have been in my closet for I don't know how long that I can actually wear now. I know the inches are moving. Some day when I have a working scale, I hope it will agree.

I'm going to look into the collagen. I've heard so many people say that their body pains stopped when they started keto. I keep wondering when that will happen for me. I have other issues though (locking knees, L5-S1 surgery) so it may never happen. I really wish I could afford a full body MRI. Some of the pain is not normal and it feels like something is wrong but I can't afford to pay to see a specialist.

Radiii: The eating was the hardest part for me so I started with a trainer because I needed some kind of motivation and accountability with exercising. My workout partner usually goes to the gym after 9 but I have to be in the bed by 9 so that wasn't working. I wasn't even sure what I needed to do outside of the workout videos I have. Working with a trainer is NOTHING like that, at least not with my trainer. Leslie Sansome is not going to ask me why it's taking so long to walk that mile. LOL! I didn't want to have to think about working out and now I really don't have to. I just have to show up and do what the man tells me.

Eating is another story. I don't even really care about eating. It's hard to explain because how do you separate food from eating? I like food well enough but it's the process of getting it into my my body that's the challenge. If I could have any wish in the world (after winning the lottery), it would be that I could get all of my sustenance from a pill and coffee. When I started working out with my trainer, I was barely eating two small meals a day for a total of about 1000 calories. He suggested I up it to 1800 but the calculators say I should be eating over 2000 and some over 2400. Who can eat all that? Those numbers just make me want to cry. I just don't care to eat and can go all day without food. This is the part I have to think about and work on and make myself do. Keto helps because I feel like if I don't want to eat anything, I can make a fat shake and still get in my calories, fat, and some protein. I'm actually sitting here wondering what would be the consequences of just having fat shakes all day every day for the next couple of days. I don't really have to think about food on keto and my goal was to find something sustainable where I don't really have to think about the food. Now I just have to think about eating the food. LOL!

I am doing better today than I was when I made the original post. This is week 5. I feel accomplished that I've managed to stick with it this long. I've had a couple of cheat days which have kinda saved me but I think I'm ready to start weening away from that. I just need a day or two where I don't have to eat.

Thanks for the support. It helps to know other people are going through this or have gone through it already.

DittoDan

TheTrophyWife wrote: »

Dan,

<snip>

I guess that I have been brainwashed for so long that I have to exercise three times a week for no less than 30 minutes that believing I don't need to do it seems foreign. If I could find some research (please say you have something) that backs up that I don't need to exercise, I think it would be easier for me to come to terms with it. So much of my thinking has been jacked up years and years of attempts to lose weight. I started in elementary school. I swear I could write a book!

I really would like to just enjoy moderate movement at home instead of the boot camp drills. Also, I totally forgot that I'm working out today and did not prepare well. We'll see how it goes. I'm also going to talk to my trainer about how I feel.

Trophy, Yes, you are brainwashed. You do not have to do one iota of exercise on this diet. Its common knowledge. Google it. I don't have a link. I haven't done hardly any at all. Its not because I am lazy, its because I get injured. Will I do exercise when I lose the weight? Yes. Why? Because I need to have more mobility than I do now. I want to be able to go up three flights of stairs without breathing heavily, I want to build a garage, I want to do normal things like everyone else.

Your trainer will say to NOT stop exercising. Why? One: he's brainwashed. Two: Its not in his best interest to drop a client (I assume he gets paid for training you). Just remember that.

I envy all those people's automatic posts that I see on my MFP app, "So & So, did 60 minutes of Cardio Training" blah, blah, blah.... I want to be that person. Lord willing, in a few months I will. But, until I lose the weight, its NO exercise.

You would do much better to drop the exercise and start doing intermediate fasting to get your weight off much more quickly. Then, like me, when you get to a much smaller weight, start the exercise again.

Dan the Man from No Exercise Land

baconslave

DittoDan wrote: »

TheTrophyWife wrote: »

Dan,

<snip>

I guess that I have been brainwashed for so long that I have to exercise three times a week for no less than 30 minutes that believing I don't need to do it seems foreign. If I could find some research (please say you have something) that backs up that I don't need to exercise, I think it would be easier for me to come to terms with it. So much of my thinking has been jacked up years and years of attempts to lose weight. I started in elementary school. I swear I could write a book!

I really would like to just enjoy moderate movement at home instead of the boot camp drills. Also, I totally forgot that I'm working out today and did not prepare well. We'll see how it goes. I'm also going to talk to my trainer about how I feel.

Trophy, Yes, you are brainwashed. You do not have to do one iota of exercise on this diet. Its common knowledge. Google it. I don't have a link. I haven't done hardly any at all. Its not because I am lazy, its because I get injured. Will I do exercise when I lose the weight? Yes. Why? Because I need to have more mobility than I do now. I want to be able to go up three flights of stairs without breathing heavily, I want to build a garage, I want to do normal things like everyone else.

Your trainer will say to NOT stop exercising. Why? One: he's brainwashed. Two: Its not in his best interest to drop a client (I assume he gets paid for training you). Just remember that.

I envy all those people's automatic posts that I see on my MFP app, "So & So, did 60 minutes of Cardio Training" blah, blah, blah.... I want to be that person. Lord willing, in a few months I will. But, until I lose the weight, its NO exercise.

You would do much better to drop the exercise and start doing intermediate fasting to get your weight off much more quickly. Then, like me, when you get to a much smaller weight, start the exercise again.

Dan the Man from No Exercise Land

I agree. Walk, sure. Stay mobile. But steer clear from the high impact hard stuff until you lose some weight. I've lost just about 70lbs and now I can finally do that hard stuff. Remembering previous efforts trying to do the 30 Day Shred while 35lbs heavier was like being tortured. Now, it's tiring but I can do it, I don't get injured, and I'm not exhausted the rest of the day. This isn't about making yourself miserable. Weightloss battles are won and lost in the kitchen. You can always pick the heavy exercise up if you want after you take more stress off your joints by losing weight. There is a HUGE difference in how it feels, trust me: obese working out vs just overweight working out, the latter is much better and more rewarding, IMO.

TheTrophyWife

I see what you're putting down but I don't think I'm ready to pick it up yet. My brain was apparently pretreated and soaked before it was washed!

Physically I have come a long way. Yesterday I did 50 flights of stairs. If you had told me in January that I would be climbing 50 flights of stairs by December, I would have laughed and told you that I'd prefer jumping out of the window. Sure there was some heavy breathing involved but I wasn't totally winded. I can carry my groceries in the house without thinking those 6 steps up the back porch are going to kill me. I'm enjoying a lot of benefits from working out and I'm actually happy once it's all over but overall, at the end of the day I just don't want to do it. I love the soreness from lifting but I abhor when my sciatic nerve throbs all the way down to my ankle. I love the feeling I get when I do something that I thought I would never be able to do like climbing 50 flights of stairs or flipping a 70lb tire or walking at 4pmh on the treadmill (the knee killer) but I hate that sharp pain that makes me feel like I'm going to hit the floor. But......

Working out with my trainer is the first thing that I did for myself that I haven't quit. I will probably always hate working out but I promised myself I wouldn't quit again. I wish I had found you guys first. I don't even know how to stop. What if I start gaining again and I lose all the beautiful muscles that I can feel through the fat? *sigh*

Now you guys have got me conflicted! LOL!

baconslave

Well tell him it's too much. You shouldn't have to feel pain while working out, other than muscle soreness. I'm not saying to give up and lay on the couch and forget it. No pain, no gain is referring to muscle soreness, not shooting pain in your joints. So have a heart-to-heart with your trainer. Let him know that you are having joint pain. You can push yourself and not hurt yourself. And if he's worth his salt, then he'll get it.

There are days I DON'T WANT TO WORKOUT. DON'T WANNA!!! But I make myself do it. I do feel better after. Like today, I got no sleep thanks to hubs and the kids, I'm a little sore from upping my reps yesterday during my dumbbell routine, and I'm just plain not feeling it. I'm still letting Jillian Michaels torture me anyway.

Don't quit, just tweak.

TheTrophyWife

ERMEHGERD! I'm so glad the boards are back up! LOL!

Thanks Baconslave. I don't want to quit but if we could just back down a bit or maybe find something else. I really don't believe there is much that I can do that won't hurt my joints and that will be effective. The treadmill is murder. The elliptical is death. I'm still recouping over the 50 flights to some degree. I have decided that I will take a break after the end of this month. I've given it some thought and if the hard workouts are preventing me from losing weight faster, I have to back off for a while. I'm in the process of losing the guilty feelings. I will talk to my trainer though because I want him to understand. Even if he doesn't understand, I still have to do this for myself. I'm just going to have to also work harder on motivating myself to workout. Heck, I have a paid in full membership to Gold's gym. They have classes like Zumba and Yoga that I have been dying to try but can't because it coincides with my trainer. So, I guess I won't be too bad off. I just have to prep my mind to get there.

DittoDan

Trophy,

You say you weighed 330 and your MFP says you lost 17 lbs. So now you weigh 313? If you are doing all those exercises at that weight, you're one strong dudette!

Dan the Man from Michigan

TheTrophyWife

Dan,

If I am to believe the scale, I'm actually at 305.1. I think when I started using MFP again, I just started from my new weight which was in the 320s but I don't remember exactly. It took me forever to find where to log my weight so I just didn't bother to update that starting weight.

My strength really has improved with my trainer. On the first day, I had to use this workout rope. You whip it to make waves is the best way I can describe it. Anyway, the first day, I could barely do 10 (he started me at 50). Now I can breeze through 100 of those and most of the time I end up doing about 300 of those. I'm bench pressing about 50lbs and there are other weight workouts that I do. I never would have even considered lifting weights before.

This is why I don't want to quit. The me of today is so much more healthier and active than the me of this time last year. She was trying but she was not doing. LOL!