Misc. Chat Thread - Jan. 2015

TravelsWithHuckleberry

Sometimes you just want to chat, and it's not about anything in particular and it's not a form question and it's not a story about that dude at the gym with t-rex arms and it's just whatever. So, figured I'd start a random chat thread for these types of posts.

Thanks to all of you who were so kind to me yesterday. I'd like to say that I'm feeling better today, but that would be a bit of a lie. I think the combination of a new year with so much potential and so many hopes and expectations, getting home from Hawaii, two empty weeks ahead of me before school starts, a freezing house (which honest to god makes it hard to get out of bed), maybe some lady hormones, missing a friend who is still on vacation, and those effing measurements just have me hanging with Milo in the doldrums for the moment (A "Phantom Tollbooth" reference for anyone who has no idea who Milo is). I'll survive.

But big x's and o's to all of you for your constant support and all around awesomeness.

xoxox
C.

canadianlbs

idk why, but i never got around to the phantom tollbooth. swear i've read every kid's book from that era that anyone has ever heard of and probably a bunch that nobody has, but not that one. we even had a copy of it around the house somewhere and i knew it was there . . . and still. weird little blank spot in the middle of my field of vision.

on the subject of mark rippetoe and bumping the guy-who-took-your-arms off the cliff, i went out especially just to find this. yay national film board of canada!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PcppEOE66Q

TravelsWithHuckleberry

How wonderfully odd.

Sumiblue

I love The Phamtom Tollbooth! I can't wait to buy it for my daughter. She won't be ready for it for quite some time but I think I will buy it to read again. I often think of that book when I feel I am in the doldrums. It will get better, Crabada!

Sumiblue

And I don't mean for that to sound pithy. I suffer from depression and that doldrums/waiting-for-something-to-happen feeling is the worst. It's especially bad during TOM because apparently I have PMS a now,too. It's awful, everything just feels like it's *kitten*. I find I feel better if I do something concrete toward my goals. Shop for healthy food, make a healthy meal, go lift. Those endorphins really can help. Hugs!

TravelsWithHuckleberry

Didn't sound pithy -- not even a little.

And @Canadian -- Get ye to the library for some Tollbooth. I have a feeling you'd love it.

canadianlbs

i'm reading the robber bride by margaret atwood (again). speaking of books i have a feeling you'd love . . .

TravelsWithHuckleberry

I am ashamed to day I've never read any Margaret Atwood. She's on my shelf though.

canadianlbs

some of atwood is really dank and dispiriting - surfacing almost put me off for life when i read it in grade 11. bodily harm always struck me as really grim. some is just fluff imo, where she seems to have been just pissing around and writing a slightly more-improving-than-usual calibre of pulp fiction (i'm looking at you, alias grace and blind assassin). and some is terrific, but she's always funny and always pitiless when it comes to people watching. there's a couple that fall somewhere in between those two extremes, like cat's eye and i guess the robber bride. but i really really really do like the robber bride. i seem to read it again every year or so. it's so hugely expressive and so perfectly done in that way.

but honestly, really, now that i think about it . . . the edible woman, and lady oracle. i really do have this feeling that you would love both of them.

Sumiblue

The Handmaid's Tale is almost required reading these days. I discoved M.A. In my college years, read everything I could get my hands on. Since we are talking books, if you like good fantasy/sci fi check out China Mieville's work. Perdido Street Station is crazy. In a good way :-) I just finished reading the Southern Reach Trilogy, also great. I guess I need fantasy as an escape from the everyday.

canadianlbs

i only managed h.t. once. it was required for a lit course and think that was my re-introduction to her after being scorched by bodily harm and surfacing when i had no clue of the dynamics that she was talking about in those books. i still wasn't really ready for handmaid, but even so i remember being struck by how funny she was even in the midst of such a grim book. she's funny the way j.d. salinger's funny - she gets you from sideways, but with a needle so fine you can't even work out what nerve she just hit.

i was reading iris murdoch in college

MissHolidayGolightly

I'm pulling for you, @crabada!

I read Phantom Tollbooth and was in a play of it in 5th grade but I can barely remember anything about it. Do remember the doldrums reference though

@Sumiblue I get depressed right before my period, too. It helps me to attribute it to that knowing I will just have a bad day or two. I also tend to have a negative outlook that dips down into depression intermittently. I feel bad about taking them but "mental health days" are necessary sometimes. I know what you mean about the waiting for something to happen feeling. Similarly, sometimes I feel like I have nothing to look forward to and I have to remind myself how fortunate I am. Feeling like this can be crippling because then I can't find the energy to make things happen (I'm currently trying to get up the energy to revamp my resume and apply for a professional certification so that I can improve my career potential and change things up a bit). I am constantly playing mind games with myself.

Sumiblue

^^^ this, exactly. I also tend to have a negative outlook. Have anxiety, too. Fun. I never really had PMS in my 20s or 30s but now that I'm in my 40s, wow. Probably stored it all up to be a really bad menopausal case. I'm definitely talking to my OBGYN when I go next. I really wish I had family close by so I could take a mental health day or two from being a SAHM, but no luck there!

MissHolidayGolightly

We're twinning! I definitely have some anxiety issues and I'm going to bring it up at my annual doctor appointment because it's been escalating. The negative attitude is rooted in anxiety for me - if something bad/unexpected happens, I assume that the worst possible consequence is definitely going to occur. Anxiety and depression are closely related and though I wouldn't say I have clinical depression, I definitely have some lows. I'm sorry you can't always take a break when you need it. Sometimes simple things seem impossible when you're in one of those ruts.

Anyway, sorry @crabada for turning your misc chat into depression chat Does your courseload look interesting this coming semester?

krokador

I am at a total loss when it comes to all those books you guys have mentioned. Never was a big reader and am from a french-canadian culture, so we used to read more french and french-canadian material when I was in school.

However, the depression thing I can definitely relate to. Which is why I'd like to share this with you guys: http://www.fiveminutejournal.com/

I've been doing the daily journaling thing every day since the 2nd I think. I didn't buy the actual journal, I just write down the lines and #s ahead of time and fill out. Doesn't take much more than 5 minutes a day either way. And so far it's really helped me 1- put things into perspective, 2- Have a good start of the day by possibly structuring it towards a positive goal rather than letting the negative pull me in, 3- finish the day off with a recap where I get to put down what I didn't like about the day so it can be put to rest and not bother me all night. And also find all the silver linings of the day so that I don't feel like I haven't been doing good things during the day.

There's an IOS app, too, for those of you with an iPad or iPhone. It,s definitely worth checking out, IMO, even if you're not too down on yourself right now.

MissHolidayGolightly

Thanks @krokador! I like that there's an app.. I might try it out.

The daily affirmations section made me think of Stuart Smalley's Daily Affirmations skit on SNL. It's funny because sometimes in the morning when I don't want to be up and I'm dreading work, I'll recite, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me!" The cheesiness makes me laugh and humor helps my spirits.

Sumiblue

Hmm, maybe I should try daily journaling, too. My brain is such a jumbled mess. If I write stuff down it helps me focus. I never really thought of journaling before. Thanks for the suggestion, Krokador! I only read at night before bed. Sometimes it's only a page or two before I pass out. I find it helps settle my overactive mind so I can sleep. Of course, if the book is really good I end up reading half the book and can't sleep at all!

TravelsWithHuckleberry

Journaling definitely helps me. I've been trying to get back into the habit of doing Morning Pages (from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron), which is basically just three pages of non-stop free writing daily. It helps so much, even if you just write "I don't know what to say" for half a page when you're stuck. I'll look into the five minute thing, too -- thanks, @Krok.

I certainly struggle with depression too. I've been off anti-depressants for a few years, and am glad of that, but sometimes I get smacked pretty hard with it. Does anyone else have that issue where they chalk things up to laziness, lack of motivation, just being lame, and/or not trying hard enough, even though those moments when you *just can't* are very likely influenced by depression? I almost never think of it as a factor, when obviously it is. Working on this.

@MissHoliday -- first, no need to apologize. This thread is for whatever we want. And I'm actually done with coursework. My only real job this semester is to write my thesis, though I will probably sit in on a couple of courses. Not sure exactly which ones, but looking at:
- Intro. to Islam
- Atheism & Secularity
- Gender, Body & Sexuality in Early Christianity
So, they should be interesting, and the benefit of sitting in is that you can just sit and listen, without doing any of the work. I try to do at least some of the reading when I do this, but it's not required.

I'm actually kind of worried about this coming semester. I do much, much better when I have outside deadlines, so to have all my work be self-directed will be a real challenge for me. Which is why I need to get into a really good routine early on. If any of you have suggestions for how you've conquered this type of schedule, I'd love to hear them.

Love you gals to pieces.

xox,
C.

bruerin

crabada wrote: »

I'm actually kind of worried about this coming semester. I do much, much better when I have outside deadlines, so to have all my work be self-directed will be a real challenge for me. Which is why I need to get into a really good routine early on. If any of you have suggestions for how you've conquered this type of schedule, I'd love to hear them.

Love you gals to pieces.

xox,
C.

Ugh--I completely understand. I decided to pursue my J.D. and M.A. simultaneously. I had one semester where I was clerking, writing my thesis, and had law classes in the evenings. I'm a super-routine, schedule-driven person. I also happen to be an early morning person, so what worked for me may not work for you (if I'm remembering correctly and you are more of a night owl). All of my research was completed and approved by my department the previous semester; everything was organized into the order I needed it to be; all I had to do was to write the stinking thing. I woke up at 4am and wrote every morning from 4-7 for a few weeks straight. Once I had everything written, I began the editing process, using the same hours of the day.

I think if you make a schedule for yourself and block out time for specific things, it will be easier. At least that was my experience. Good Luck! Can't wait to read that you finished it!

krokador

crabada wrote: »

Journaling definitely helps me. I've been trying to get back into the habit of doing Morning Pages (from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron), which is basically just three pages of non-stop free writing daily. It helps so much, even if you just write "I don't know what to say" for half a page when you're stuck. I'll look into the five minute thing, too -- thanks, @Krok.

I certainly struggle with depression too. I've been off anti-depressants for a few years, and am glad of that, but sometimes I get smacked pretty hard with it. Does anyone else have that issue where they chalk things up to laziness, lack of motivation, just being lame, and/or not trying hard enough, even though those moments when you *just can't* are very likely influenced by depression? I almost never think of it as a factor, when obviously it is. Working on this.

My therapist actually suggested that exact book and method to get my writing mojo back. Which I have adapted to 2 pages just before bed (let's face it, I get up at 5:30 to go to the gym, I don't have time to write in the AM xD And 3 pages is by the time i seem to start hitting a stride, which is something you don't want when about to go to sleep, lol).

And I went to her with "I feel like I'm not doing anything productive" the last time around, then she asked me what my daily routine looked like and i said "I go to the gym or exercise, go to work, do some chores and make dinner and then spend the rest of the night playing games or watching tv shows" to which she replied "so you workout and make food and go to work every day?". That really put things in perspective right there. I felt lazy when I was doing more than most people ever do. It's okay to cut yourself some slack from time to time, especially when you need the "off" time. At least that is what I am trying to let myself believe. It helps a little. (Otherwise it's a downward spiral of "I'm lazy and not worth crap, I just waste all my time, so might as well waste it all anyway" which makes me feel worse which leads to doing less and oooh, yeah, trying to avoid going there.

mymodernbabylon

I'd love to suggest an app for anxious people - I'm hoping its available all over (I'm in England): mindshift. My clients really like it - it has a bunch of things that are useful for anxiety.