1 day in the life of..............
48801
Posts: 41 Member
I went over my daily intake. By approx 250. I binged on popcorn and Greek yogurt. I add a hundred calories to my diary too compensate just in case I go over, so in realm, I'm not that far gone. I don't want to go any further....
I am venting.......Too keep from eating.
I am not sure what's going on. I think I am frustrated. I broke a gift my daughter was going to give a friend, she was extremely proud of this gift. I just feel horrendous. It's not something I can rush out and replace. She in turn is very upset, and I understand. She doesn't get a lot out of life, and this was..........
I know I am also concerned over finances. This is nothing I can correct on a given day, so.....Not much I can do about it, I accept this, however just having "things" dangle above my head is concerning.
I just WANT to eat. That's all, I just want to eat. Am I hungry? I don't think so. Not the type of hungry where one must eat anyway. I want to consume a large quantity of junk to make myself feel better. The emotions that I wrote of, are not the only emotions that are in play, I can feel emotions stirring, but I don't know what they are...............
We take care of my mom, her mood swings can be rampant. As we were driving home after church, we had no idea what we would be walking into. As soon as we hit the door, "I did the dishes" (two cups and a saucer). A big production is made when she does anything. Hmm, I can deal with this. We do have problems with her severe mood swings, where she just explodes. Mom is never at fault. The whole world is.
My daughter stays in her room most of the time. She used to love her Nana......Now.........I feel like the biggest failure on the face of the earth. My hands are tied financially. I feel horrendous.
I have a friend that attends church, Mom has never liked her. If she does anything of a humane nature my mom will say something to the affect, "She isn't much of a Christian is she." NO ONE lives up to her standards. No one is as good as she is. Constantly wanting to pick an argument. I love her, *BUT*. We are looking for other housing. Just the way it is.
I wish I could write out the nuance of my Mothers moods. I do love her, but good grief........Her husband.......Well, he cow tows, anything and I mean anything, mood, thought, etc, he will parrot.
I found an area that is low income (waves hand madly) and I can have my dog. It just doesn't feel right, however there is little out there that I can afford where we can have our dog............
I am venting.......Too keep from eating.
I am not sure what's going on. I think I am frustrated. I broke a gift my daughter was going to give a friend, she was extremely proud of this gift. I just feel horrendous. It's not something I can rush out and replace. She in turn is very upset, and I understand. She doesn't get a lot out of life, and this was..........
I know I am also concerned over finances. This is nothing I can correct on a given day, so.....Not much I can do about it, I accept this, however just having "things" dangle above my head is concerning.
I just WANT to eat. That's all, I just want to eat. Am I hungry? I don't think so. Not the type of hungry where one must eat anyway. I want to consume a large quantity of junk to make myself feel better. The emotions that I wrote of, are not the only emotions that are in play, I can feel emotions stirring, but I don't know what they are...............
We take care of my mom, her mood swings can be rampant. As we were driving home after church, we had no idea what we would be walking into. As soon as we hit the door, "I did the dishes" (two cups and a saucer). A big production is made when she does anything. Hmm, I can deal with this. We do have problems with her severe mood swings, where she just explodes. Mom is never at fault. The whole world is.
My daughter stays in her room most of the time. She used to love her Nana......Now.........I feel like the biggest failure on the face of the earth. My hands are tied financially. I feel horrendous.
I have a friend that attends church, Mom has never liked her. If she does anything of a humane nature my mom will say something to the affect, "She isn't much of a Christian is she." NO ONE lives up to her standards. No one is as good as she is. Constantly wanting to pick an argument. I love her, *BUT*. We are looking for other housing. Just the way it is.
I wish I could write out the nuance of my Mothers moods. I do love her, but good grief........Her husband.......Well, he cow tows, anything and I mean anything, mood, thought, etc, he will parrot.
I found an area that is low income (waves hand madly) and I can have my dog. It just doesn't feel right, however there is little out there that I can afford where we can have our dog............
0
Replies
-
I'm sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. Writing is a good distractions. The best thing you can do for your daughter is admit your fault and ask for forgiveness. Just deal with one thing at a time.0
-
I should have blogged this instead of open forum. I am new to the boards you live and learn.
I do want to state, that I broke my daughters frame by accident.
Better today. I still want to binge, but I have a better grip;-)))0 -
I hope that it helped just venting, I used to be an avid journal writer and found it a release to get the feelings out.
0 -
Feel free to vent if it helps. I try to call a friend when i feel it is just a *kitten* day and everything just is enough. Fnance is something that weighs heavily on me too as the main provider and my mom, pfff i am just glad that she and i life apart. You're not alone and like i said if venting helps do it!0
