Low Carbers how do you / would you handle the following social events please?

RenaTX

Hey I'm thinking ahead here. In two weeks I have to attend a family birthday event and I really do not want to disclose that I'm trying to lose weight / following a new diet ( lifestyle ).

My inlaws do not make me comfortable about my weight as they all are people who seem obsessed with being thin even dangerously / unhealthy thin . Frequently, if not nearly always the conversation turns to dieting or how so and so last weight. I'm not comfortable in those conversations and honestly I feel that they *may* be for my benefit so I rather keep the fact that I'm trying to lose weight to myself.

So what would you do in my situation? Traditionally there is usually a birthday cake and probably lasagna and salad as my MIL is half Italian and supposedly everyone loves her lasagna .

My thought is I do not have many choices and I should just go and eat what is being served and get back on track the next day. Another thought is perhaps I can tell a white lie and say I'm not feeling well and just eat the salad. Another thought is perhaps offer to bring a side dish which is low carb and eat salad and my dish.

What are your thoughts?

shadesofidaho

I would go for bringing the side dish and do the salad. You might lightly comment you have been having a touch of a digestive upset, which is close to not being a white lie since most of us just starting out have this. If lasagna is on the menu politely decline as you are trying to calm things down.

Another thought is you can tell her the noodles,wheat? gluten?, is being eliminated to see if it will calm your tummy.

I can understand your position. I am keeping it pretty quiet around here too about being on a diet. Not sure why I just do not want people other than my very best friends blabbing all about it.

Dragonwolf

You could do any of those. I personally end up distancing myself from such relatives (not usually unintentionally, but such constant badgering (for lack of a better word) that makes me uncomfortable tend to turn me off to that kind of company.

That said, that's not always an option. I think the best way would be to load up on the salad and any meat or non-starchy vegetables available. Don't make a big deal over what you're eating. If anyone asks, say something like you're really wanting salad. Whether you bring your own dish is up to you. Maybe bring said meat and veggie tray or something.

If they really insist, then take a little piece of the lasagna and/or cake. Perhaps eat around the noodles (the rest is usually pretty low-carb friendly). For the cake, a few bites' worth may be doable, depending on how you react to sugar. You can also simply say that you no longer care for whatever type of cake it is they're serving, or have a bite or two and say you're not used to that amount of sugar anymore. Again, you don't have to make a big deal out of it if no one else does, and if someone tries, just say it's a preference or something. They basically can't argue preference.

icerose137

I think it depends on if this is a temporary diet or a lifestyle change for you. Me personally, it's a total lifestyle change. I cannot and will not go back to eating the old way, it's just not good for me. I take back up food to all social situations just in case there isn't anything I can eat. I'm a celiac so it's easy enough for me to let people know when they ask that I cannot eat that without getting sick. People typically feel terrible that they didn't fix/buy anything I could eat, but it doesn't bother me. I just make sure I'm prepared. Look up the 3 min low carb chocolate cake, it's one of the best chocolate cakes I've ever eaten. Go with a little cake for yourself and some zucinni lasagna if you want to stick close to what is being served. If they corner you about it or act insulted, turn it back on them that so many conversations have revolved around healthier eating you decided it was important to you to start doing that. Almost no one will argue with that. If they do, then they don't really care about your health and wellbeing and you don't need to worry about their opinion anyway.

totaloblivia

I would go with eating the lasagne, but leave the pasta bits on the side - the meat and cheese bits should be OK for low carb? Maybe some flour in the white sauce but hopefuly not too much. Then decline the cake on the basis that you are full? Or just take a piece and crumble it so it looks like you ate it....
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- My Mum is always having diet and fitness related conversations with me which are supposedly not at me, but they really are. If anything is more likely to turn someone off trying to be healthy, it's that passive aggressive technique! I feel for you. Good luck!

volfan22

I'm a bit sassy - I'd bring my own food - like a ribeye with extra butter and a salad and plop my booty down and watch them all freak out. You be you - don't sweat their small mindedness. As has been stated - if this is your life now, don't hide from it - be proud of it and the choices you are making for yourself. It's just food after all. I'd thank the MIL for her wonderful spread and jokingly tell her there is just not enough fat in there for your liking and whip out your steak. (or whatever you bring) - heck throw some extra bacon on there to really make their heads explode.

Mind you I'm not advocating you being "in their face" about it - just keep it light and engage them about how excited you are - tell them to sit back and watch - you're already amazing - and soon you'll be fabulous!

DAM5412

I try to eat before going, making sure it's high fat and very satisfying.

Then I would take a small piece of lasagna, with a side of salad. Eat the cheese and any meat in the lasagna, and the salad.

If you feel like this group won't be supportive or will pick you apart, just don't go there with them. You stay focused on you and don't let them get to you.

Good luck!!

hkaiser350

I would have 1/2 the size of lasagna you would normally eat, the rest of the plate i would load up on veggies, and only eat 1/2 the amount of cake you normally would. Sometimes having a little carbs is ok- tomorrow is a new day and that ONE meal wont break your diet. It's ok to make choices that involve carbs occasionally- just don't make it an every day occasion!

FIT_Goat

That situation, for me, would be fairly simple. I choose not to eat any of those things. So, I would just not eat. I would talk, socialize, and otherwise have fun. But, I would not eat. I don't, usually, bother pretending to eat. I don't bother picking at food, or nibbling around stuff I don't want. I am an adult. I can decide what I do and don't want to put in my own body.

Generally, I don't get a whole lot of comments. In fact, the people most likely to comment are the ones who already know exactly how I eat. If they point out that there's nothing for me, I'll usually say I ate earlier or am not hungry anyway (usually true).

Look, no one is forcing you to eat cake or lasagna. If you allow this to be an excuse for eating foods you otherwise wouldn't (even if it's just the smallest amount), you'll continue to find excuses to keep eating those foods. The salad is probably something you'd eat otherwise. So, eat that. Turn down the rest. If forced to take it, just hand it to the person next to you or set it down.

sweetteadrinker2

If your'e so inclined, go, but make an excuse to leave early. For instance, I have an escape plan for these kinds of things. I simply say that we need to leave early because one of us has a group project for school/work/presentation to put together/have a busy day tomorrow/I have a migraine. Since it's traditional to eat salad first, eat that and socialize some. Then excuse yourself, if they put up a fight you simply walk out. In laws sminh laws, they can accept you as you are or not, it's their loss.

lollynn

RenaTX wrote: »

Hey I'm thinking ahead here. In two weeks I have to attend a family birthday event and I really do not want to disclose that I'm trying to lose weight / following a new diet ( lifestyle ).

My inlaws do not make me comfortable about my weight as they all are people who seem obsessed with being thin even dangerously / unhealthy thin . Frequently, if not nearly always the conversation turns to dieting or how so and so last weight. I'm not comfortable in those conversations and honestly I feel that they *may* be for my benefit so I rather keep the fact that I'm trying to lose weight to myself.

So what would you do in my situation? Traditionally there is usually a birthday cake and probably lasagna and salad as my MIL is half Italian and supposedly everyone loves her lasagna .

My thought is I do not have many choices and I should just go and eat what is being served and get back on track the next day. Another thought is perhaps I can tell a white lie and say I'm not feeling well and just eat the salad. Another thought is perhaps offer to bring a side dish which is low carb and eat salad and my dish.

What are your thoughts?

I like all of your ideas.....except not feeling well. I'm Italian too.....ask if you can bring the salad, and make a big anti pasta with meats, olives, cheese......and you can eat a big salad. Then take a small piece of lasagna and eat the cheese and meat out of it...and the sauce....saying geeze, I ate too much salad.....or ask to make meatballs too.......or just say your into trying new recipes and you wanted to get the professional opinions of the masters of Italian cooking. I out Parmesan cheese in mine instead of any breadcrumbs......

JenniferCarter2015

I would stick to veggies and I love asking if you can bring a dish then make a huge salad or bring meat kabobs, or a meat and cheese tray

RenaTX

Thanks everyone for the feedback. This was helpful towards looking to a solution for an otherwise uncomfortable situation for myself. Not just the fact it will be my first time in a social situation eating with this method but I have social anxiety as it is so being prepared helps!

ladygi19

I would say that I had an office party that day and am still full... and just have a salad

kkimpel

good luck, honey.. families are hard sometimes. I was afraid to eat away from home for 6 months. .. lol Good thing I live far from my families.

RenaTX

kkimpel wrote: »

good luck, honey.. families are hard sometimes. I was afraid to eat away from home for 6 months. .. lol Good thing I live far from my families.

Thank you!! We aren't close to my inlaws thankfully because of some of what they do but my husband does feel obligated to join in on the occasional birthdays and holiday events. I also don't want to discourage him from doing so.

RenaTX

ladygi19 wrote: »

I would say that I had an office party that day and am still full... and just have a salad

Great idea! Then I can also use some of the other suggestions like fill up before the event as well. You all are awesome and smart!

Thanks for putting up with socially awkward me LOL. Seriously I hate social events to the point where I've had panic attacks. And I'm married to a pretty social guy. Poor husband. He generally comes running with a glass of wine. Now that I'm LC I wonder what he will do LOL.

rachel0923

I've been in so many of these situations! There is always a birthday, a holiday, a night out with friends, a jewelry party... I just eat around the carbs, decline cake and wine. I didn't tell anybody I was changing my lifestyle for months. They may have noticed me eating the filling out of a taco and leaving the shell, but nobody bothered me about it. You are allowed to say no thank you and don't even need a reason!