Living guilt free

2BeHappy2

I understand her and bikrchk
It would be nice to not always have to be running to the site to get my cals logged in before the stroke of midnight.
I mean come on, Im not Cinderella!
Wouldn't it be freeing if we didn't have to jump online for every morsel but to just knowingly be thoughtful of our food choices?
I don't believe that everyone whos elected to have surgery is because they themselves caused it.
Weight gain could have come from medications, mental or medical health issues.
Take for instance someone who is mentally challenged and on meds and is sedentary.
I am 4'2, clearly I cant eat as much as Rob at his height so while I cant eat his portion, I can still eat the same just at a smaller amount.
My weight comes from not always having enough to eat growing up.
Being 1 of 6 kids and every one of them being much taller than me feeling like I had to fight for my share!
Eat it while its there because we never knew what or how much we'd have later.
Its not like I don't know what or how much to eat because I have learned that in the process of things (pre & post surgery).
I just want to get to the point where #'s are no longer the highlight but that I ate to comfort and not fullness and I was happy w/ my choices.
I never learned the feeling of contentment because we were either really hungry or really full.
Even when I moved out, my 1st priorities were my bills and then my personal needs and then myself.
So if it meant eating "bad" vs "healthy" then that was just what I had to do to get by.
Where my life is now, I can and do eat better but the damage had been there for all those previous years.
It was hard and even painful for me to exercise effectively, not that I couldn't but my energy level was so low that doing the every day normal things was enough in my day that anything else just simply exhausted me.
This surgery has given me that do-over that I needed!
Since I am consciously aware (maybe more so since doing all this) of the goods and not so good, I am better able to apply it in this part of my life than before when things looked so bleak.
This do-over is giving me the 2nd chance that I was needing and this time around I have the right attitude and a chance for a happier, healthier, stronger me with a great attitude to go with it!
At some point (not now) Id like to not have to hover around cals and logging in, to be able to slowly break away from the bonds of all this knowing that I can be detached but come back as needed.
Kind of like spreading my wings and venturing out into the world without fearing it!
Read about this little girl who was a "normal" weight and then ballooned to her highest weight.
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/texas-girl-12-hungry-gastric-bypass/story?id=22992991