Why do I bother?

Pickles175

Someone tell me why I bother going on the forums and try to get people (who post about worrying about eating 1200 calories) to eat above bmr and to eat more calories when all I ever do is get lambasted? *head wall* You would think I would learn.

VeryKatie

It's funny how hard it is to get out of the mindset of eating too few calories. I'm still working on it myself. Once you've lost weight, it's scary to put yourself in a position where you think you might gain it again (even if the science shows differently). Probably equally as hard a decision as deciding to change your eating habits to lose weight in the first place. It's almost like deciding to bulk instead of cut when what you want to do is cut! At least that's my feelings.

I'm just... working on it very slowly. I know that what I was or am doing isn't working so it has to change, but I don't feel ready to be consistent enough to go full out EM2WL (consistency is my downfall. Consistency in the level I care about my calorie goal. One week I'm thinking "Eat lots, go for it with EM2WL!" and the next I'm thinking "But my wedding is coming up... and I'm so sick of eating at a deficit I just want to be at my goal weight and DONE with it!".

If you're eating at 1200 calories and ignoring the fact that you're binging you get this thought in your head of "Well, the deficit is so large as long as I stick to it 90% of the time, I'll still lose weight!". Except you don't even realize you're thinking that. Or else you've given yourself a timeline and not realized it so you're thinking "Get it off me as fast as I can!"

nineateseven

It's because you care It's hard to see other people harming themselves when you know a safer way. As someone who struggled with disordered eating and still has to fight off the thought patterns, it's heartbreaking to watch so many people put themselves in danger of developing an eating disorder. You see the negative food associations develop, the caloric restriction becoming obsessive, and then the thought patterns emerge - especially the mentality that enduring hunger is a sign of strength. How can you not reach out and try to pull someone out of that quicksand?

Jennbecca33

Best to show them by example. If they know you're eating more calories and still seeing results, they will pay attention at some point when they are tired of hitting walls.

lovtolaff

Jennbecca33 wrote: »

Best to show them by example. If they know you're eating more calories and still seeing results, they will pay attention at some point when they are tired of hitting walls.

I agree with this...I have a couple of friends that refuse to listen to eating anything over 1500 calories. So I think show them by example, is the best route.

heybales

after they've been to the rodeo a few times and thrown off the horse, then they start looking for a different way of doing it.

And no, haven't watched any rodeo, so no idea why that image.

I'm picturing a big person being thrown from a horse, how much it must hurt, but them getting right back on again.

Sometimes it's smarter to get on the mule or donkey and go slower but actually stay on.

Pickles175

Thanks guys. It's not even the people asking for help that are refusing to listen, it's all the other people commenting on the forums that tear down my views and then suggest that the OP stick with the low cals or whatever. Someone even offered up a calculator that showed calorie goal (different than scooby) and then told the OP they could take a deficit of 1000 calories off that number for a decent loss. UGH. Or when I say that eating below BMR is not healthy I get tore into a new one for the idea. *sigh*. I'll just avoid the forums.

beastmode_kitty

It's a difficult pill to swallow. It was hard for me to get out of the mindset of eating at 1400-1600 calories on heavy lifting days. Glad I don't do that anymore.

You get frustrated because you care like someone else had mentioned earlier. Much like I do. A lot of people (like myself awhile ago) are uneducated about the dangers of prolonged high calorie deficit. Just gotta keep hoping that they will see the error of their ways and make the change!

heybales

Pickles175 wrote: »

Thanks guys. It's not even the people asking for help that are refusing to listen, it's all the other people commenting on the forums that tear down my views and then suggest that the OP stick with the low cals or whatever. Someone even offered up a calculator that showed calorie goal (different than scooby) and then told the OP they could take a deficit of 1000 calories off that number for a decent loss. UGH. Or when I say that eating below BMR is not healthy I get tore into a new one for the idea. *sigh*. I'll just avoid the forums.

Some people like or think you must suffer while doing the diet, so just eating lower to start the weight loss again sounds just fine for them, and anyone else they can point that direction.

Never mind the end results, if you get there, or the difficulty adhering the whole time, or the non-enjoyment in food because you must eat 200-400 less to keep losing weight, or exercising so much more to cause the same effect.

Never mind the inability to keep up either when going back in to maintenance.

And the eating below BMR is for someone with otherwise healthy body with no weight loss attempts in prior 6-9 months, for a brief period.

Rarely is the forum complainer in that state at all, so no where near a healthy body.

luluinca

I have to just add that some of us do read and take the offered advice on the forums, and here btw, so I wouldn't give up on it. I've directed several people, both in the forums and in other groups I belong to, here to get an idea of what their life could be like if they took the chance.

I got lucky with a trainer telling me the same things you all were saying here before I found you, and now I'm eating about 1750 - 1800 calories a day for my deficit and losing the last bit of weight slowly but improving my workouts immensely. Love it!

I say keep up the good work, you never know who might be lurking!

crogerstx

I'm reading, I'm absorbing, I've been lurking (a few days) and am going for it.

Farmgirlfit85

I am struggling to get through to my sister. She told me that at 700 calories for the day at 9 pm, she wasn't hungry for anything more! I'm appalled. There's nothing that I can tell her because she's got a bit to lose before her wedding in august so she needs immediate results. I hope I can talk some sense into her after the wedding.

heybales

She planning on wearing the scale on her dress for all to see at the wedding?
Or people will see her?

Since when does scale weight have a bearing fitting in to clothes?

You should have her read some of the stories of ladies that are 10-15 lbs heavier than their lightest - but because not skinny fat, they are smaller actually.

How low does she plan to eat when 700-900 stops having an effect in June?
Or how much more exercise does she think she can eek out eating only 700-900?

Scary.

Farmgirlfit85

Trust me I know. I am scared for her too. But there is no talking sense into her at the moment, and she doesn't want to hear this from me anyway. Like I said, when the wedding is over maybe she'll listen to reason... or just fall back into her old patterns which is more likely.