Before I make a fool of myself . . .

RLF022012

I need to vent a little and would like to hear what others think.

When Tom went to for a check-up three months ago, the doctor said he was pre-diabetic. This is a very serious thing for us because he could lose his job if he gets diagnosed as diabetic. So, with my encouragement, he’s worked hard to eat right and get more exercise. I think he’s been doing very well. But today, when he went for his follow up with the doctor, it did not go well. Although he’s lost 12 pounds and his sugar did drop (not significantly but some), the doctor’s response was basically “you’re going to be diabetic but you don’t need medicine yet”. I am so angry I’d like to call and give him a piece of my mind.

I believe the doctor should be encouraging him to continue working to improve and not be discouraging him by making him think there’s no reason to try. In my opinion, the doctor is just looking to prescribe more meds and keep adding follow-up appointments. However, I believe that positive change can, and will, make a difference.

Does anyone have thoughts on what I should do? Even if not, thanks for giving somewhere to vent.

Rose

PrairiePride49

I agree with you. It is discouraging to have a doctor who is negative. Maybe it is time to shop for a new doctor. How does Tom feel? Get him to read some of the success stories. I'm sure that will encourage him to continue on the path of losing. Good luck.

retirehappy

Get a second opinion. Also is your husband on any prescriptions? Some can make your blood sugar levels very high, even if you are perfect in diet and exercising. It used to be drs. said your diabetic and that was that, you can never get better so just take the meds. I don't think that is the case anymore, get a dr. who is more up to date.

And get to reading every label, nothing with more than 2 grams of sugar in it should enter your house. My sister was in a similar situation, she started exercising and using a pedometer to get steps in as well and NOTHING over 2 grams per serve. Her latest report was clean bill of health.

This is something that should be vented about and actions taken. Hope it goes well for him.

bvifun

That is so frustrating Rose and the doctor's words are discouraging. Do you also know your husband's doctor? If so, you may be able to ask for his help to encourage your DH. Much as telling him off might make you feel better, I expect the doctor will just become defensive. I really hope your husband will not be discouraged by those words but will keep up his good work to better health.

CrisEBTrue

First of all; it takes more than three months for blood sugar levels to significantly change. Even with weight loss, it takes time. We're talking about reversing years of chemistry in his body; it doesn't just happen overnight.

Did your husband go for lab tests that included measuring his A1C? That is the ultimate measure of how your blood sugar levels are, and those are generally tested once every 3-4 months in a blood test. (Although, now they can instantly measure A1C in the doctor's office by pricking your finger).

I would suggest that your husband look for another doctor.
RUN.
If necessary, find a physician who specializes in diabetes.

It sounds as though you two are doing all the right things.
But it is NOT helpful if your physician is not on board with your efforts and (it seems) has just thrown up his hands. But to say that he's "doomed" to be a diabetic and then not offer medications? I don't understand that.

It is true that not all type2 diabetes can be controlled only with diet; the sad fact is that if a person's pancreas is not doing its job.... well...that kind of problem will require medication.
Having said that; I know at least 1 person who lost 50 pounds over the course of a year, and was able to completely get off her diabetes meds. But it took A YEAR.

Sometimes I think that not all physicians really understand diabetes.
And some just seem too lazy to actually "treat" their patients, or help them get the education and support they need to take care of themselves.

I understand your frustration. Tell your husband to hang in there and not give up.

It's hard diagnosis to hear; it's hard to not be in denial, and even when you think you've got it licked, it's frustrating. *voice of experience*

The ADA has free classes in diabetic nutrition that are very helpful and can empower you both to understand how to control his diet and keep him on the right track. See if you can find some in your area; usually they are held at a local hospital or clinic.

Good luck. {{hugs}}

grandmothercharlie

I can understand your frustration and I think Cris is right that so few doctors know the science behind diabetes. Also, the science has changed and is changing. Years ago, a diabetic avoided sugar. Then the shift went to all simple carbs and the whole glycemic index thing. I have been hearing and reading that fats are now being considered the bad guys when it comes to diabetes and also the wonders of bariatric surgery, not from weight loss that occurs, but from the surgery itself as the diabetes can leave within days of surgery! I assume that endocrinologists have a hard enough time. That said though, he shouldn't have discouraged him, especially with the weight loss success and healthy lifestyle changes.

The doctor probably sees people try and then fail so much that he has become jaded. Or, maybe his own inability to control his own blood sugar. Also, doctors are all about fixing a problem with meds, not alternatives. There is a genetic component that they probably look to also and get a defeatest attitude if they think genetics is the issue.

A local NPR station ran a program this week that was extremely interesting. You will have to get to that part, but here is the link if you are interested: wosu.org/2012/allsides/wellness-wednesday-fitness-trackers-cataracts-diabetes/ The Harvard doctor discussed the role of fats and fiber and complex carbs, etc. and the current science behind diet and genetics and diabetes.

Of course, moderate exercise is essential and it sounds like you have him on the right track.

Keep encouraging him. I don't think you will have much luck with the doctor's attitude no matter what you do or say. Or find a doctor with more sense and a better knowledge of diabetes. Nothing speaks as loud as hitting the pocketbook!

JoanLovell

I agree with all of you but thought I would throw in two cents about our experience.

My husband was able to control his diabetes with diet, exercise and weight loss for several years. His doc was amazed and said he had never actually seen someone succeed at changing their behaviors enough to avoid medication. I think docs are discouraged!

His doc's first step was to send Pete for 8 weeks of nutrition counseling. This is something they can prescribe. Also at the local hospital - free and very helpful - a support group for men with diabetes.

Ya know, a lot of guys see themselves in the mirror each morning, smile, and think they belong on the cover of GQ - - so they may know they need to lose weight intellectually, but they kind of don't really believe it. The support group helped Pete get real about his situation. And - it was empowering.

Eventually, however, his problem did progress and he went on a series of medications - and then this year began using insulin.

It worked liked a miracle. He still very much needs to watch what he eats and make sure to exercise every day - if not, he gets direct feedback from his meter the next morning.

I would say that Pete resisted the idea of insulin for too long - there seemed to be some "no turning back"and "throwing in the towel" and "failure of self control" aspects that were very hard for him to get past. I'm so glad he finally tried it. It's alleviated a lot of stress.

Absolutely the first step is to find a doctor who supports you and is someone you trust. But - if the time comes - the meds are really great and getting better all the time. IMHO

Best of wishes

learntolive

Doctors can be wrong. Maybe he will end up diabetic, but IF he continues to follow a diabetic diet and exercise, as Joan said, it could take years. Is your husband discouraged and want to give up his efforts, or did it just hit you wrong. Some of the females in our family have a bad gene that can cause heart attack and or stroke. My daughter was first diagnosed with it. Her doctor told her all the females in the family need to be checked. My sisters doctor did not want to do the simple blood test. Finally they did it and she had the bad gene. Then they did some sort of test to see the category she fell into for risk and could not believe she had not already had a heart attack or stroke! That was 12 years ago, and thank God, she has not yet had one. Why? I think she has an excellent diet (she lost 20 lbs on Weight Watchers about 25 years ago--and has kept it off!) and exercises everyday. Tell your husband to keep on doing what he is doing. Best of luck with that, Joni.

RLF022012

Thanks everyone for the thoughts and information.

My husband was initially discouraged and frustrated after seeing the doctor. You know the feeling, he was saying why am I trying. But, I'm pleased that he's turned back to more rational thoughts. Just last night he said, I'm going to keep working at this because I think the doctor is wrong that I can't do anything to change my health. He's continuing to exercise and log his food, which makes me very happy. I will continue to encourage him and I've reminded him it will take some time; but I also have, as some of you suggested, asked him to think about getting a doctor who is more open-minded.

JoanLovell

Another doctor experience...
My husband was diagnosed with prostate cancer 6 years ago. After a prostatectomy and radiation, he went to a highly recommended cancer doctor. I didn't like him. He seemed bored, glib and too busy. Meanwhile, just on general principle with something that serious, we went to see a prostate specialist in Boston. The doctor there spent a full hour explaining Peter's situation in much more detail and described many possible scenarios for the future and the current science in treatments. He answered a ton of questions, reassuring Peter that if his cancer should return, new treatment options are available and many new ones coming down the pipeline. We left feeling really upbeat because he projected such a positive attitude. It was worth every penny.

Peter still sees the original doctor every 6 months for a check up. He's certainly not a warm person, but seems much more caring than he did at our first meeting. Maybe he was having a bad day.

Bottom-line - I'm all in favor of talking to a doc who's enthusiastically in your corner. At least, it made a big difference for us.

grandmothercharlie

Rose, I'm glad your husband isn't discouraged. Afterall, there is more to eating right and exercising than just to combat diabetes. I think he can change the course, and even if he doesn't, the exercise and eating right will be even more essential to control the diabetes should he ever get it and to help prevent the other problems associated with diabetes.

sharondtd

Everyone has given warm, concerned advice and encouragement. High praise to each of you for helping Rose.

RLF022012

Joan, Thanks for sharing the story about your experience with your husband's doctors. It sure helps me to hear about how seeing another doctor can be a more positive experience.

JoanLovell

...and here's some happy news that showed up in my husband's email recently:

http://www.diabetes.org/research-and-practice/patient-access-to-research/ah-nuts-pistachios-may.html

RLF022012

What an interesting article. I've printed it to show Tom. Thanks, Joan!

grandmothercharlie

@JoanLovell: How about re-posting in the "Interesting read" thread? A lot of people might want to see this who look over there! Great article!

JoanLovell

OK. Will do. I imagine some other folks here might be flirting with diabetes.