lifestyle re-vamp (support, advice?)

kristiru

Hi all... just want to start by saying I'm not complaining about anything, but I hope to find some people who have either been in a similar situation and have overcome, or are currently in a similar situation and need support.
I'm 38, unmarried, no kids, great job that keeps me pretty busy, and a lifestyle that keeps me unhealthy. I have great friends, lots of acquaintances (bar friends), and I'm so tired of the way I've been living. I feel like I know what I want my life to look like... just not sure how to get there. I've declared this month "no-bars-february", if nothing else for just a break from wasting my time in bars. I am *not* alcohol-dependent... I just like to party... but so far I'm not missing it. I also broke up with my boyfriend, because he wasn't going to go along or support the kinds of changes I want to make, (It wasn't serious, no major emotional damage there).
So I guess here's the thing... everyone I know just wants to go hang out in bars all the time. I have nothing against a good Sunday Funday, but where can I meet people and make friends who want to do things OTHER than eat/drink/be lazy? My few friends who are active, are always busy taking care of their families and when I try to schedule working out with them, their availability is the middle of a weekday (when I'm at work). So I don't really count on that.
I'm just kind of at a loss, and would love to hear some advice from random strangers.

tmlandgraf

I don't know where you live, but you may want to look into Meetup.com and see if there are any groups in your area. Most groups are free, you just pay for your activities as you go. I live in Houston and there are thousands of groups for just about any type of interest. For example, I belong to a movie group and once or twice a month we meet-up to go see a movie and discussion afterwards. I belong to an all girls group and we do various things each month from volunteer work, brunch, movies, shopping, etc. I also belong to an outdoors group that go on a lot of hikes, walks, bike rides, camping, etc. I've seen workout groups, running groups, walking groups, photography groups, book groups, travel groups, cooking groups, concert groups, singles groups, etc. I didn't grow up here and have realized that making friends as an adult isn't always easy to do - I don't drink, so spending time in bars isn't my cup of tea. It helps to think outside the box and if all else fails, do a Google search for activity groups in your area and see if anything comes up.

AngeBee18

I agree about meetup if its active in your area. Also join a sports team/club - its a great way to make new friends in your area who love to be active just like you. I guarantee there will be people there of all shapes, sizes and fitness levels.

ascrit

Meetup is something I was going to suggest as well.

cpp_happy

People like to make fun of this one, but I love my book club

constellation709

I hear what your saying. My friends don't party, but they aren't real active either (most likely a good reason why I'm friends with them - I always feel self conscious hanging around athletic/outdoorsy types.)

mamarundrc

I agree with the others, meetup.com is a good way to meet others. Also, find something active you love and then find other who do it and make some new friends. That way you can hang out with your old friends for partying or just chilling and you have support for your healthier lifestyle.

For me, I love Obstacle course racing, mud runs, running and hiking. So last June I joined an obstacle course racing community. There are peoples of all different athletic abilities and all different walks of life. I have met tons of new people who support me in my journey to become healthier and stronger. I have even made a few new close friends who I can hang out with that have goals that are in line with mine and understand why I don't want to go to that Chinese buffet or just sit around a bar. I have met people who share a passion for each of my favorite activities mentioned above so now I have people who can join me for a hike or push me through a long run. It has completely altered this journey for me.

I was once told by a running coach "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable". He went on to say that if you take the time to approach people and forge new connections it can only benefit you. This was very hard for me since I am a very shy person by nature. I took his advice and it has made me more comfortable in my own skin and more comfortable when surrounded by strangers.

Good luck!

ascrit

mamarundrc wrote: »

"Get comfortable with being uncomfortable".

I love this sentiment. Easier said than done but still worth thinking about.

shelley1029

I've been in similar position... and I've learned to do more independently. I've joined a gym, I've signed up for climbing lessons. Get out there and try new things and you will meet new people who are interested in living a healthier lifestyle. Until then don't be afraid to play it solo sometimes!

rosemnesh

Pick 2 hobbies to start that have nothing to do with drinking or hanging out. A woman I work with started making clothes. She shops for good materials, buys different prints to copy and sew, goes to conventions that sell dyes, prints, materials. ... She met a lot of good people with that hobby. And she's really proud of her work and enjoys showing it off to people.

neurex

ccpowles wrote: »

People like to make fun of this one, but I love my book club

I like this suggestion

Rukikat

Something else you could consider is a community college fitness or nature class. There are several 1-credit options in my area that meet on weekends only. It gives you the opportunity to connect with people over a couple of months, you'll have something specific to do, you'll learn and the classes usually aren't terribly expensive (less than you'd spend at a bar in the same amount of time for sure). Good luck!