New & need advice..

Kjs_

Hi! I just found this group at the right time & I'm looking for a good support system I need a little advice...
First of all about me, I suffered from anorexia from age 13 to 19, when I got pregnant with my son. I'm 24 now. I still don't consider myself "recovered" because I still have many many tendencies... After I had him, I started binge eating.. That was my "thing" for the next 4 years. One extreme to the other, right??
Last year, January of 2014, I had a relapse back into anorexia. I ate about 600-800 calories a day. I lost 50 pounds in a few months then joined a gym & worked out till I burned off every single calorie I ate that day. Then my fiancé left me in June... I started bingeing again just really for something to do so I didn't have time to stop & think about him. I probably had 3 BIG binge days a week & every other day was "normal" but still junk...
So now with summer approaching is a big trigger for my anorexia... I started a new workout program & eating "clean" the weekend after Christmas. I WAS motivated & I'm seeing results. But last week I just hit a wall.. I got burned out on the food, fixing the food.. & Valentines weekend, I binged for the first time since Christmas... It turned into 3 days... Thursday to Saturday. Nonstop.
Now it's Wednesday & I haven't given in but it's ALL I'm thinking about. All I want to do is binge. My anxiety & depression (which are diagnosed but not medicated) are in full force. I have a 4 year old & I can't even focus on him... I don't want to do anything.. I don't want to play with him, I've pushed him away the past few days cause I just have no energy... I'm irritable & I'm taking it out on him. I've cried every single day since the binge started. At the drop of a hat. All I want to do is say screw it & go to the grocery store...... I feel like that will fix everything I'm feeling right now.
I'm looking into therapy AGAIN.. but what do yall do at times like these? Especially if you have children involved..

ryanhorn

I'm not a professional, but my biggest piece of advice is seeing either a therapist or a nutritionist or both. I've seen both and they've really helped me out quite a bit by helping examine the root cause of my behaviors as well as helping me correct them.

Like I said, this is just an opinion and I'm not an expert, but I highly suggest checking out the book "Intuitive Eating." Since reading it, I've finally felt like I've been able to break the binge cycle since I started binge eating.

Lastly, reach out for support and realize that you're not alone! Everyone in this group is going through the same thing, and everyone in this group will be more than willing to talk to you and offer you advice.

Good luck with everything!

slgraha

I agree with everything ryanhorn said. Get help. Both a therapist and a nutritionist. You want to be healthy not only for yourself but for your child. Step back, take a deep breath, count to ten, look at your beautiful child, and focus. You & your son are the two most important people in your life now. You can do this with focus and determination. Have faith in yourself, believe in yourself, and get the help you so desperately need and deserve.

My suggestions(for right now) for what I would do and have done when my kids were little:
- take a hot shower - this gave me time to cry with them knowing & brought my emotions in check
- go to the park - gives both of you time out of the house. run & play together
- find an activity that keeps both of you busy - crafts, games, etc.

Hope this helps.