In need of ideas

FacetoMoi

I'm really glad I found this group today as this is a constant problem for me.

I work from home for 10-12 hours straight and have a HIGH stress job. It used to be that I'd have a smoke a few times a day to keep myself from eating all of the time. But I quit smoking, which meant I started drinking more. But man does that have a lot of calories....and I maybe make some mistakes I wouldn't have otherwise. So I'm at a loss.

I don't get a lunch break, so going out for a walk or something just can't happen. Once I finish work, I'm so high strung that it's affecting my marriage. I enjoy video games and my husband encourages me to play. But then I feel bad so I don't. If I try to read or take a bath, the puppy is all over me and it's just impossible; or I lock her up and get to hear her whine the whole time--oh yeah, that induces relaxation. I moved across the country and have made 0 friends here so going out just never happens for me either. And I'm more broke with the passing of each day so I am very limited on spending money on frivolous things.

So if any of you have ideas, I'd really be open to them!! I'm going to try reading through this group while sitting on calls today.

sueatherbest

There's definitely a lack of self care here, no breaks during the day, not eating regularly, no friendships. If your husband is supportive of the video games, you should enjoy that time...
Pick one thing and do it for a month: get your meals squared away first thing in the morning or last thing at night, attend a group type meeting ( church, OA, FA, FAA, a fun class), volunteer for something that interests you, just for a month, see where that leads you. Even though you're married ( I am too), you are the only person who can take care of you, if you don't do it, it won't get done.

FacetoMoi

Thank you Sue. I keep meaning to look into volunteering but I just never stand still it seems. I do know I need to take time for myself, but finding that kind of time seems impossible. There's always work, or housework, or petcare, or an obligation to deal with. Hell, I had a horrible migraine all day yesterday, I still had to go to the gym for an hour. I've never taken care of myself in my almost 28 years. It's basically a new concept to me, one that I'm still trying to figure out. But you really brought the issue to the forefront.

JediMaster_intraining

Feel free to add me! I know what you mean by no smoking = alcohol! It soothes me (or makes me want to dance) but it has a lot of calories and ruins my weekend progress usually unless you take straight shots with water chaser. I would suggest planning meals better during the week and either writing down your emotions or talking to your husband about how all of this makes you feel. It can be tough as a stressed woman. You can burn that frustration off working out too. Also maybe limit yourself with how much you drink (maybe cut down to once a week? DIFFICULT I know).

It is hard when you haven't made any friends in a new area. I moved to a small town with my fiance last year and only get to hang out with his co-workers (who aren't very fun or share my interests) once a month, if even that. But I don't have a car to save money. Otherwise, it is just me and my fiance most nights and weekends. Luckily, I have a dog and cat. I understand about the puppy thing...stressful!

I am a big fan of making to-do lists if you want to set some tasks/goals for the week and incorporate weight loss. To me it is fun to cross stuff off lists (ok maybe I am slightly crazy). Yes, it is a commitment but totally worth it. Don't lose yourself in your non-stop routine when the greatest rewards are yet to be found.

af_wife2004

It sounds at if your job is contributing to health issues. If you don't get breaks, don't eat regularly, and have that high of stress leading to martial issues (and possibly other health issues) is the job worth it? If it is, and you work from home, is there ways you could prioritize your work load differently to create a better flow to your day and enable you breaks? If it is an office type job, how about switching from a standard chair to a stability ball or standing desk?

Perhaps, after work, you and your husband could talk a walk w/the dog and talk before sitting down to video games or invest in workout style games together.

For food, I would recommend crockpot meals so you spend less time having to make meals and have left overs.

dburki51

No company makes their employees work 10 hours without a break. I have a feeling you're just not taking it. You need to set a time and take a break every day, like making an appointment. Then you should sit somewhere away from your desk and enjoy your lunch. The crockpot idea doesn't work for me when I'm home because the smell of the delicious food cooking makes me hungry all day. The idea that you and your husband take the dog for a walk is a really good one. You need to relieve some of the stress because if you don't you will just throw your hands up and give up. You need to build in some stress relief activities into your day - no one will do it for you. Make a to-do list, or a wish-list, or write a journal. It always helps me to write things down, "download" my stress onto paper, and my brain feels relieved. Congratulations on quitting smoking, that's great. Good for you! Don't make the mistake of replacing it with food or drinking. Taking care of yourself is the necessary, even in your busy life.

FacetoMoi

dburki, since I work for a small company and I'm the only office employee (hence me working from home) I have to do everything. I'm the only one who can do any of it. I've customers all over the US and training the east coast guys not to call me at 0900 their time has taken a while. I often get up to get some food but a call comes in when I'm 2 feet away. I can rarely use the bathroom without a call/email coming in. When I try to set a standard lunch time, that's always when my boss calls and he figures he can talk to me while I eat so lunch is a moot point since I'm working the whole time. I do NEED to take time, I just don't know how to make it happen without impacting my work.

We do go to the gym most evenings after work and take the puppy for a walk. She only just got her last shots a week and a half ago so we're still forming the habit of her being allowed to go out.

af_wife, I think the crockpot meals might be the way to go. Though I am nervous about smelling food all day--but maybe that'll remind me to eat!

I think you're all right in that I need to make a to-do list. Maybe set up rewards for every time I lose 10 or 20 pounds