When am I not longer "fat"?

I will be 6 months post next week and I've lost a lot of weight and I have a lot more too lose. For those who have hit goal or are close to it, when did you stop feeling as if you weren't in the "fat" category? I know it may be neurotic but I've heard things from my spouse about not seeing myself for who I am now and I find myself identifying more with my 400+lbs self rather than my 200+lbs self and I was wondering if there was a turning point for anyone where you were like, "I'm not fat anymore."


  • rpyle111
    rpyle111 Posts: 1,066 Member
    I find myself looking in the mirror and really noticing how much my side view has changed. I have straight lines where there used to be nothing but curves and bulges. Shopping in regular stores is a big signal to me that things have changed. It is a ton of things, BMI not really near the top of the list.

    I am trying to pick a weight where I will start the transition to maintenance calories and having a hard time. Part of me wants to stay at the lower calories through the 'honeymoon period" of around a year or so to see where my body wants to settle, or to see if I can get into the 'healthy' BMI range. The other part is happy with where I am now.

  • loriloftness
    loriloftness Posts: 476 Member
    I will be interested to see what people post. I am just past 3 months out and even though I know I am smaller, because I am wearing smaller clothes and because people tell me so, my own self body image has not caught up yet. When I look in the mirror, I see the me that was there before surgery. I am curious if there is a certain % of weight loss when I will see it, or if it is just a matter of time out from surgery when I get used to "seeing" the newer me. I had the "old" me too look at for a long time, maybe my brain just has to learn something new.
  • mae7365
    mae7365 Posts: 66 Member
    I'm 3.5 months post op and my first real wake up that I wasn't that fat woman anymore was when I went shopping with my skinny daughter and we could both wear the same size of sweaters. My daughter looked at me and said....Mom, you're so skinny.

    I've lost 49 lbs and have 21 lbs more to lose to get to the upper limit of the healthy weight range for my height. That's what I use as my goal. That should also be the point where my BMI is no longer overweight.
  • jrnguyen
    jrnguyen Posts: 92 Member
    I am 5 months out and 85 lbs down. When I look in the mirror I still see the 260 lb me, just with some muscle definition. It's when I look at pictures that I see the real difference. A BIG DIFFERENCE. Sometimes I will stand in front of a mirror holding a picture of myself and compare. They are two different people. I don't know if my brain will ever let me see myself how I really am.
  • DJRonnieLINY
    DJRonnieLINY Posts: 475 Member
    People stopped calling me "Big Guy" and started calling me "Slim"
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
    I have lost over 200 lbs and sometimes I catch myself looking in the mirror and seeing myself like I was before. Other times I see myself and think I look great. It's taken me a while to get used to how I look now. I still have moments of thinking I look huge, but they are fewer and farther between. jrnguyen pointed out that she sees a difference in pictures, and I think that brings up something important - take progress pictures! We see ourselves so much more objectively in pictures than in the mirror for some reason. Trying on clothes can be an eye opener too. For the longest time I was taking things off the rack that were too big, and I had to get out of that habit. It might take some time and maybe a little practice, but you will start seeing yourself how you are now!
  • Thaeda
    Thaeda Posts: 834 Member
    I am over a year out and have not been "fat" for months, but am still shocked by what I see in the mirror sometimes. I still think like a fat person in that I worry about "squeezing" between parked cars or chairs in a restaurant or whatever, even though I can easily get through smaller spaces. It is very odd. Sometimes I look down at my slender arms or legs and think "Whose arms/legs" are those?!!". Not sure what it will take for me to feel like this body belongs to me. It is odd-- when I weighed 300 pounds it didn't "feel" like me and at 175 it doesn't, either.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
    I'm not sure I ever will totally stop feeling like I'm fat. I had lost 164, I really stopped feeling fat, was shoping in "regular stores" felt like I looked amazing, then had a small regain. Since then, I've gone back to feeling fat. I've gotten some of the regain off, but not all and can't seem to get all the way down to my lowest, or get off this plateau. I just keep bouncing between 225 and 230. The scale isn't showing another gain, but I think I look bigger than I did. And it could be my imagination based on my feelings, but my clothes don't look the same to me either.
  • I am almost 8 years out and I still feel that I look like the heavier person that I once was. I lost 115 lbs (size 22/24 to size 8) and to this day, I am constantly asking my husband "do I look like her?" or I am pointing out a bigger person and telling him that is how I feel. He is always telling me "no way, you are much smaller", but I just don't see it. I know that I lost the weight and I see myself in the mirror, but I sometimes still feel that I am big.
  • candicevaughn
    candicevaughn Posts: 23 Member
    Thank you all. It makes me feel less alone to know I'm not the only one.
  • asia1967
    asia1967 Posts: 707 Member
    Candice> Good post, I liked reading the responses. For me being 4 years out, lost 222lbs and still have lots to go, I too don't know that I will ever feel not fat. I guess time will tell. Hang in there and no you are not alone!
  • lucyw70
    lucyw70 Posts: 37 Member
    I am 9 months out and 100 pounds down (still about 40 to go). I have found whenever I am having one of my "feeling fat" moments, I try to remember how I felt before starting this journey (tired, depressed, helpless). It reminds how far I have come and to focus on things about my new self that I like and appreciate. The "fat feelings" disappear, when I focus on my accomplishments thus far. Hang in there and enjoy the journey to a healthier happier you!
  • chip305
    chip305 Posts: 63 Member
    This post is great, in my head I know I'm not alone with my feelings but it is good to hear others putting what I feel into words. I am 3 months post and I am down 70 pounds with about 40 to go. There are times that I get a glimpse of the slimmer me but most of the time I still feel like the fat girl.
  • ac7nj
    ac7nj Posts: 266 Member
    I'm 7 months out down 98 pounds and most of the time I still feel like I was before surgery. Everyone else can see the difference but I still struggle with how I see myself.
  • janet0513
    janet0513 Posts: 564 Member
    edited March 2015
    jrnguyen wrote: »
    I am 5 months out and 85 lbs down. When I look in the mirror I still see the 260 lb me, just with some muscle definition. It's when I look at pictures that I see the real difference. A BIG DIFFERENCE. Sometimes I will stand in front of a mirror holding a picture of myself and compare. They are two different people. I don't know if my brain will ever let me see myself how I really am.

    Me too. I hope my brain will see it some day but right now the image in the mirror doesn't change.
  • candicevaughn
    candicevaughn Posts: 23 Member
    I have only taken one body shot and one face shot since the surgery and I wasn't impressed yet. I feel emotionally different. I just want to stop worrying about fitting into certain chairs or going through a drawer full of shirts (that are actually too big) looking for one that fits. It's mind boggling.
  • PaulaKro
    PaulaKro Posts: 5,679 Member
    edited March 2015
    You certainly are not the only one! For me, it's like what bonitadonita said... And like rpyle111, it seems most obvious from the side. My shadow looks like other people's now too.

    At 2 years out, I've lost 165 pounds and weigh* 150 pounds - at 5'9" that is a "Small Tall". It's still hard to think of myself as a small or size 8 when trying on clothes. I''m not "skin & bone" so there are still visible paunches of fat. Because I don't see smooth and sleek, it doesn't feel complete.

    My logic knows I'm fine where I'm at, but the gut reaction still hesitates - "Wait, I can fit in that chair." "I don't need a stronger piece of equipment." "That size will fit me."

    *BTW my metal knee replacement put 16 pounds back on me overnight, so now I'm 165ish. But my BMI and proportions stayed the same.
  • thin2be2013
    thin2be2013 Posts: 49 Member
    I still feel fat at times....but it is a more enjoyable fat feeling. I honestly hope I don't ever feel "skinny" because I think that would be dangerous for me eating wise. I don't want to ever forget having to do a "rocking motion" just to get up off the couch or how my elastic waisted jeans would roll down my belly when I would sit down.....nope I don't wanna ever feel skinny. :wink:
  • bikrchk
    bikrchk Posts: 516 Member
    Intellectually, I know I left even the "overweight" category behind like a year ago. I see the size 4 jeans, the size 6 dresses, the small tops and leggings come out of the laundry and I "know" I am not fat, but there are days I feel like a busted can o biscuits. I bounce around between 140-145 pounds most of the time and I'm 5'6" so I know this is all in my head. I suspect it will never go away entirely. I try to not give it too much credence, but use it to stay vigilant with my good habits.
  • jrnguyen
    jrnguyen Posts: 92 Member
    bikrchk wrote: »
    there are days I feel like a busted can o biscuits

    Love this! I just laughed out loud in a meeting. Oops! Lol