My 600-lb Life

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  • KarlaYP
    KarlaYP Posts: 4,439 Member
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    In the 1980s there was a woman from where I live who died after eating Big Macs when she got home after having gastric bypass.. Her family got them for her, said they didn't know she wasn't supposed to be eating them. So sad!
  • cheekitty
    cheekitty Posts: 101 Member
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    I'm with everyone else that's boggled at their ability to eat the things they have; I've had a lot of discomfort and outright pain when I tried to push. Seeing them chowing down on a hamburger (A kiddie sized burger would be one thing, but this looks like big ones?) just boggles me. There's a British version as well on Hulu - it started automatically playing when I got through all the current episodes - Fat Doctor - that seems to offer more preop support, but yeah, I'd really like to see people later on.

    I'd also really love to see people in my weight range, how they did, etc. So I could get an idea for what I can expect for myself (assuming I work hard, etc). But it's not as sensational, so I doubt I will.
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
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    I've been watching Fat Doctor along with My 600 Pound Life. I was watching one of them and my husband piped in his disgust as to how people let themselves get that big. I just stared at him. Then he goes into a rant about how he can't believe that the family was still bringing them junk food knowing it was making things worse. I said "like how you will jump in the car and go get me ice cream and fries at 10pm? Or get pizza with extra cheese sticks because you know I like them? Or when you add extra butter to my popcorn at the movies? Or watch me drink 3 bottles of wine in 1 sitting then polish off a bag of chips that YOU bought me?!?!" It was a real eye opener for him. I don't think that enablers realize that they are enablers most of the time. He just wanted to make me happy, he sucks at the romantic stuff so when I let him known what I want he will go get it to make me happy. It's been a learning process for the both of us.
  • JamesAztec
    JamesAztec Posts: 524 Member
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    tat2cookie wrote: »
    I said "like how you will jump in the car and go get me ice cream and fries at 10pm? Or get pizza with extra cheese sticks because you know I like them? Or when you add extra butter to my popcorn at the movies? Or watch me drink 3 bottles of wine in 1 sitting then polish off a bag of chips that YOU bought me?!?!" It was a real eye opener for him. I don't think that enablers realize that they are enablers most of the time.

    tat2cookie, thank you for sharing that. Surprising he didn't even know he was enabling. You're right, I think he just loves you and wanted to please you. I guess I'm "lucky" in a way because I live alone. Sometimes it's tough doing this by myself but on the other hand I don't have to deal with the complex issues that come with the relationships of people that live in the same house.

  • aimeelynn121
    aimeelynn121 Posts: 9 Member
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    I went through some similar events. My grandma bless her, has always believed that food equals love. She was always offering me food that I should not be eating throughout my entire life. I would visit her in the summer and as a child I would gain as much as 20 pounds just in the short visit with her. After I underwent the surgery I had to sit her down and explain my life changes. I explained that I knew she loved me with all her heart and she did not need to provide me with food for me to realize that. I know that she was not intentionally sabotaging my chances for weight loss, but she was my enabler for many years.
  • pawoodhull
    pawoodhull Posts: 1,759 Member
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    That was part of the conversation I had with the husband prior to signing up for WLS. I point blank told him that if he couldn't or wouldn't stop sabotaging me, I wouldn't do the surgery because I would fail. He understood and stopped. Four years later and he's still very supportive and does not sabotage or enable. I know myself and I'm strong enough to handle temptations outside the home, but having ice cream in my freezer is not something I think I will ever be able to leave alone. So it never comes in the house. Even the grandkids know when we celebrate either of our birthdays at our house it's cake only. smile:
  • jillcwatson1
    jillcwatson1 Posts: 100 Member
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    I have seen several episodes of My 600 lb. life. I agree with some of your comments regarding the misery that these people inflict upon themselves by not being more grateful for the surgery and what it could mean in their lives. I am appalled by the "caregivers" who could benefit from surgery as well. One daughter took care of her mother for months (no other working job) and could have lost 200 lbs herself. What a gift if she could have done it alongside her mother and they could have gotten healthy together.
    I wonder if this show doesn't contribute to the reason why "normal-weight" people don't understand the true value of this surgery for us. They see the failures of these people to have the surgery but never get to goal, or maintain the goal weight. They aren't showing those of us who had to work hard to be approved and are willing to follow the rules in order to make this work for us. These targeted patients, with cameras on them so much of the time still don't have what it takes to commit to the program. And showing the world that we have been having medical tests, working on weight loss plans pre-op, journaling our food intake and increasing exercise just to be selected... I think it would eliminate the "easy way out" thinking that some have. My VSG did NOT involve liposuction, (although that might also help with weight loss :smile: ) but I will now have to work for months-years to make my body look like I want it to look. This doesn't stop with the surgery alone.
  • Dannadl
    Dannadl Posts: 120 Member
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    On the subject of family and friend saboteurs.............

    The day I came home from the hospital after having my RNY. My kids were 3 & 5 at the time and my husband's sister babysat them so he could drive to the hospital and pick me up. You know how it is when you're being released at the hospital, they tell you and then it can take hours to get the paperwork and actually get out. So hubby came without the kids. When we got home I found 2 dozen homemade chocolate cupcakes with frosting and an extra bowl of frosting on the kitchen counter. My sister in law had baked them and brought them over to my house THE DAY I GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL FROM RNY. Now here's the kicker...wait for it.....she had RNY 10 years earlier done by the same surgeon. Not even like she didn't know any better. As a side note she's regained A LOT of her weight, and I threw the cupcakes and frosting away.

  • Cronniss
    Cronniss Posts: 108 Member
    edited May 2015
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    Dannadl wrote: »
    On the subject of family and friend saboteurs.............

    The day I came home from the hospital after having my RNY. My kids were 3 & 5 at the time and my husband's sister babysat them so he could drive to the hospital and pick me up. You know how it is when you're being released at the hospital, they tell you and then it can take hours to get the paperwork and actually get out. So hubby came without the kids. When we got home I found 2 dozen homemade chocolate cupcakes with frosting and an extra bowl of frosting on the kitchen counter. My sister in law had baked them and brought them over to my house THE DAY I GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL FROM RNY. Now here's the kicker...wait for it.....she had RNY 10 years earlier done by the same surgeon. Not even like she didn't know any better. As a side note she's regained A LOT of her weight, and I threw the cupcakes and frosting away.

    Smh.

    There are people that I have met that have had either the RnY or the Sleeve that have gone back to their eating habits within months after having their surgery.

    What I don't understand is: why have the surgery in the first place if you're not going to follow through with it?

    I mean, don't these people understand that this is life-long commitment? That there is no refund or reversal? You can't just make a promise to this with your fingers crossed behind your back. The surgeons are taking pieces of your body out of you!

    I don't know about 10 years ago, but I know that now they do psychological profiles of patients before doing the procedures to help ensure that they're going to follow through with the commitment required for the surgery.

    I can understand a family that doesn't quite know what to do with someone that has gone through one of these surgeries. When I visited with my family after mine they shocked by two things:
    1. How much weight I had lost; and
    2. How little food I eat
    Everyone in my family is a "healthy eater." It's just that some are (a lot) more active than others. (Most of the men in my family are in some type of labor intensive career - welder, steam fitter, construction, etc.) So when I went to visit them and I pull out my little travel bowl that I use to measure out my meals to make sure I don't over eat, they were shocked by how much would fill me up. They kept asking "Are you sure that's enough?"

    But those that have gone through the surgery know better...or at least they should. And the ones that I've met that went back to how they eat, they say "The surgery didn't work for me. I don't know why."

    Smh.

    89019335.png
    (Quote from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams.)
  • swetienancy04
    swetienancy04 Posts: 29 Member
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    I sometimes wonder what goes on in these peoples heads. I know that when I got back to work from surgery people would always ask me to eat with them and some still do, however most of the regulars already know that I will not eat usually what they are eating and have stopped asking me. I think a lot of people are just flat out rude and don't really want you to succeed at what you are trying to do. Don't get me wrong tons of people have told me that I look great, but there are some people that just say the rudest things. I had a girl at work tell me oh you look so skinny but you looked better when you were bigger. I had another girl tell me that I should walk to work so I could lose more weight and don't even get me started on how some females treat me now. Moral of the story I have learned that I can't give a *kitten* what people are saying. If they something nice then that's great and if they don't then that's fine too. As long as you remember who you did this for then nobody else should matter. One more thing I think that's funny is people act like it's strange when you change of course we are going to change. With our weight loss a lot of us become more confident and have higher self esteem so we don't just live to please people anymore and if that makes us boring or *kitten* or whatever then so be it!
  • KarlaYP
    KarlaYP Posts: 4,439 Member
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    I had RNY on 1-20-15. The next day my mother showed up with a bag of doughnut holes and said they were for me!!! When I told her I couldn't eat them she sat and ate them right there. She is a failed RNY from the 80s. She knew better!
  • RENAEJAE
    RENAEJAE Posts: 1,136 Member
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    Such a great thread. I am scheduled for RNY June 15th (less than 2 weeks away). My family is very supportive but they have also been my eating partners for the past 15, 18 and 30 years. Although they have been eating healthy with me in preparation for my surgery, perhaps a family meeting is in order to remind them how my eating will drastically change after surgery. I most likely won't care 'what's for dinner' and I may have a tougher time preparing large meals for them. My lifestyle change will directly effect the rest of them since I've been the cook and bottle washer all these years. Any suggestions or insight?
  • nowucme
    nowucme Posts: 88 Member
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    Renaejae - Maybe you could make and freeze a casserole and some chili to start them off with. You will be tired. I gave my hubs a list of meal ideas he could do easily until I was feeling like cooking -Burgers and hot dogs on the grill, simple sides, omelets, BLT, soup and sandwiches. Easy cleanup too. And there's always takeout. We have a local grocery that does beautiful subs and complete takeout meals.
  • Cronniss
    Cronniss Posts: 108 Member
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    RENAEJAE wrote: »
    Such a great thread. I am scheduled for RNY June 15th (less than 2 weeks away). My family is very supportive but they have also been my eating partners for the past 15, 18 and 30 years. Although they have been eating healthy with me in preparation for my surgery, perhaps a family meeting is in order to remind them how my eating will drastically change after surgery. I most likely won't care 'what's for dinner' and I may have a tougher time preparing large meals for them. My lifestyle change will directly effect the rest of them since I've been the cook and bottle washer all these years. Any suggestions or insight?

    I do most of the cooking in the house, but not all of it. However, after the I got the sleeve (and I recovered enough) I still did the cooking. Even though I couldn't eat the same things as everyone else for a while, I still cooked full meals. I just made what I could eat on the side.

    Eventually I got to the point to where I can eat most of what they can eat. I'm still not up to grains yet, so no rice or flour-based products. (Which means no pasta or garlic bread. :'( ) But I can deal with that. In fact, I look at my little saucer and go..."Well if this is all it take to fill me up, how in the heck am I going to add pasta/rice/bread/whatever else to this plate anyway?"

    So, I still cook the meals. I eat the main dish & the veggies, and beans (if there are any). I just don't eat what I can't eat. And I still make the same meals that I've been making....just healthier versions. o:) And everyone is happy. :)
  • blairmundy
    blairmundy Posts: 219 Member
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    After my husband had his sleeve but before I had mine, his cooking went crazy. And then he'd sit there and watch me eat and asked me all about how it tasted - lol. Vicarious eating we called it. Not eatin actually made him compensate by cooking more (and more elaborately).
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    My grandma bless her, has always believed that food equals love.

    Not to make light of anyone's situation, but this is a direct quote from my grandmother to my niece - "Why are you so fat??? No man will ever want you. Here, have a cookie." I swear that happened. We all laugh about it in my family because it was classic Grandma, but it also shows how enabling runs deep and people just do it without even thinking about it or realizing they are doing it
  • loriloftness
    loriloftness Posts: 476 Member
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    Aztec4Life wrote: »
    tat2cookie wrote: »
    I said "like how you will jump in the car and go get me ice cream and fries at 10pm? Or get pizza with extra cheese sticks because you know I like them? Or when you add extra butter to my popcorn at the movies? Or watch me drink 3 bottles of wine in 1 sitting then polish off a bag of chips that YOU bought me?!?!" It was a real eye opener for him. I don't think that enablers realize that they are enablers most of the time.

    tat2cookie, thank you for sharing that. Surprising he didn't even know he was enabling. You're right, I think he just loves you and wanted to please you. I guess I'm "lucky" in a way because I live alone. Sometimes it's tough doing this by myself but on the other hand I don't have to deal with the complex issues that come with the relationships of people that live in the same house.

    Aztec4Life, you are "lucky" in a way. My significant other & I had food as a big part of our lives. I think that is probably typical for a lot of couples when one or both are overweight. Once I had surgery and learned to eat differently, he had some difficulty trying to learn that it was not helpful of him to bring home sweets. He also had to learn that I could only eat small amounts, so bringing me home a 1/2 lb burger and fries was going to result in a large part of it getting thrown out. He is finally (6 mos later) getting it. Additionally, we have the whole deal of buying groceries for what I need to eat and for what he needs to eat, which can end up with us eating completely different meals. I would never give up my significant other, but this is one area where it would be a lot easier for me if I only had to think about my own food issues. That being said-- I would be happy if you found someone who made you happy :)
  • aimeelynn121
    aimeelynn121 Posts: 9 Member
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    garber6th wrote: »
    [quote=Not to make light of anyone's situation, but this is a direct quote from my grandmother to my niece - "Why are you so fat??? No man will ever want you. Here, have a cookie." I swear that happened. We all laugh about it in my family because it was classic Grandma, but it also shows how enabling runs deep and people just do it without even thinking about it or realizing they are doing it

    That is all too familiar to me. My grandma often commented on my weight and that I should really watch what I eat. Then she would fill the house with bad temptations. Being on my own I am able to leave the temptations at the grocery store where they belong lol :)
  • sinderstorm
    sinderstorm Posts: 225 Member
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    RENAEJAE wrote: »
    Such a great thread. I am scheduled for RNY June 15th (less than 2 weeks away). My family is very supportive but they have also been my eating partners for the past 15, 18 and 30 years. Although they have been eating healthy with me in preparation for my surgery, perhaps a family meeting is in order to remind them how my eating will drastically change after surgery. I most likely won't care 'what's for dinner' and I may have a tougher time preparing large meals for them. My lifestyle change will directly effect the rest of them since I've been the cook and bottle washer all these years. Any suggestions or insight?

    Renae- the first month my family (husband and 2 small kids) lived on crockpot meals and leftovers. Meal planning and prep before my surgery made it much easier for me to deal with feeding them while recovering. I prepped and froze several family favorites in gallon ziplock bags, and pulled them out and dumped them in the crockpot to go all day. Chili, Honey Sesame chicken, BBQ chicken, and pot roasts were what I prepped and it worked very well. Now that I'm 2 months out, I'll eat a bit of what they're having if it fits in my plan, otherwise my kids are used to me having some sauteed shrimp or cottage cheese while they eat what I cooked.