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You don't need to lose any more

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KarlaYP
KarlaYP Posts: 4,439 Member
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I am 47, am 5'8" tall, and weigh 212 pounds. For reference, I was right at 240 when that picture was taken. My husband, who has never been over weight, says I don't need to lose any more. I want to get below 200, and will. But, what would he say that for? Normal weight is around 150, for me, but I feel that would be too thin. I wanted to land between 175-185. Your opinions are greatly appreciated!

Thank you in advance!

Replies

  • auntstephie321
    auntstephie321 Posts: 3,586 Member
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    My mom tells me the same thing when I get close to my goal. I think because or closest family have seen is this size for so long, when we get smaller it takes time to adjust. He thinks your beautiful just how you are and probably fears that if you get smaller you will look ill. It's kinda funny how a healthy change can scare some people.
  • baconslave
    baconslave Posts: 6,963 Member
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    It's all about what makes YOU healthy and what makes YOU happy. And since YOU are the one who is putting in the work to make it happen, tell him that his input is appreciated and then go do what you want to do. Maybe he is feeling insecure. My husband wants me to lose more, and he has been saying for awhile, "are you going to go and find something better now that you look good?" To which I reply, "No, silly-head! Why would I put in the work of staying with you and your nonsense for 15years just to leave now? I've invested too much in your silly @ss!"

    Flippancy aside. Do what makes you happy. He'll be ok.
  • kirkor
    kirkor Posts: 2,530 Member
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    He's trying to make you feel better. At 5'8 even 150 is not waifish.
  • Teneko
    Teneko Posts: 314 Member
    edited April 2015
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    Were you overweight when you met / married? It's possible he likes the extra...um... yeah.
    Has the diet / lifestyle caused you and/or him stress? Maybe he's concerned about that and wants you to be happy.
    Maybe just let him know you're trying to be healthy for x reasons (like so you can be around longer for him / your family).

    I forgot to add...
    Maybe try asking him why he said that and why he's concerned?

    -T.
  • Mistizoom
    Mistizoom Posts: 578 Member
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    Sounds like you need to ask him, there could be lots of reasons. As others have said, he might like you with a little more padding, he might be concerned you will have "better options" if you lose more weight, he might not like any changes to your lifestyle or eating habits that you made, etc. Your goal weight is definitely not low by any stretch - it seems quite reasonable.
  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
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    For vague reference, I'm 5'10 and started trying to lose at 190. I'm at around 184 now, and still have plenty of fat to lose, even without being fine-boned like most of the women in my family.

    I agree, the weight itself is not the issue.
  • GSD_Mama
    GSD_Mama Posts: 629 Member
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    I agree that you need to sit him down and ask all the "why's". Once you know the answer you can make the decision. Sometimes we have to conform to what out loved ones think, why they worry and why they don't approve, there are fears for our well being because they don't understand, but the bottom line is, it's all about you, your health, the way you feel and look, what makes you happy.

    For reference, I'm 47, 5'8 and currently at 146.6 lb. I want to go down to 140 and working on doing just that. I don't want to be 150 or over anymore, because I feel heavy at that weight. I want to feel good, work out with ease and enjoy life. You need to know where you fall in those terms, if 160 to 180 makes you happy, then this is what you have to do. :)
  • kuranda10
    kuranda10 Posts: 593 Member
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    When I was 5'6" and 138 everyone had thought I "lost too much" I had to pull the numbers out and show them that I was at the right weight, and that I hadn't lost ANY LMM, ONLY the fat had gone down.

    Maybe he's concerned that you are losing too much too quickly?
  • glossbones
    glossbones Posts: 1,064 Member
    edited April 2015
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    My husband was concerned that this WoE would take over my life. When I told him it was quite the opposite, he not only stopped voicing concerns, he joined me!

    No one here knows why your husband said that, but with enough serious dialog, he might be able to tell you! (Don't get mad at him if he can't vocalize it, he may not even know for sure.)
  • kristenlarkin
    kristenlarkin Posts: 235 Member
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    My husband jokes that he would rather a fat wife so we can go out to his favorite chinese buffet.
  • KarlaYP
    KarlaYP Posts: 4,439 Member
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    Thank you ALL!

    I am now two sizes smaller than when we married, 23 years ago. He's never made me feel bad being big, even at my highest weight (318). I will discuss this with him further. I certainly don't want him thinking that I will leave him. I want healthy and I know this weight isn't.

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