April 10
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KarenZen
Posts: 1,430 Member
Hey gang,
I'm up late so I thought I'd start a thread with tomorrow's date as a present to Nancy.
Today was a crazy emotional day, par for the course on this roller coaster ride week. I drove to Cambridge (yes, I pahked my cah in Hahvahd Yahd) to pick up a mobility scooter from a lovely woman whose husband only used it a few times and decided he didn't like it, too unstable (he has Parkinson's). Six hours of driving later, I now have a Pride Go Go Travel Scooter in the back of my car and the freedom to go almost anywhere I want without worrying about whether my joints are going to give out on me. It was a happy/sad experience... Happy for the new opportunities that having a scooter will bring; sad in that after ten years of fighting Still's Disease and "making due" with increasingly difficult mobility issues, I finally decided enough was enough and admitted that yeah, this disease has defeated me. I haven't managed to stop it and the damage it's done by sheer force of will. When I go to Virginia in a few weeks, I won't be sitting in the condo while everyone else goes to Colonial Williamsburg and Busch Gardens. I'll be right there with them. And when we go to Virginia Beach, I can scoot around the shops, but then use my crutches to boogie board again. REALLY looking forward to the fun, and packing LOTS of ice packs for the recovery, LOL!
I've also been writing out my case to our Y Aquatics director for why I should be allowed to participate in this year's Peaks to Portland race in mid July. (Swimmers take a ferry to Peak's Island in Casco Bay, then we swim the 2.4 miles to Portland's East End beach (with lots of kayak followers). I've wanted to do this race for several years, but I can't meet the qualifying time. I'm a strong swimmer and can swim for ages, but I just can't swim quickly enough any more. Before Still's, I used to swim 100 lengths/hour; now I swim 50 or 60, mostly because of shoulder and knee joint issues. Anyway, as I was swimming last night, four of the lanes were blocked off by the Peak's to Portland training, and I was once again lamenting that I wouldn't be in this race, when it occurred to me that maybe there's a disabled person's category that would include a different qualifying time. VERY EXCITING thought. Anyway, I emailed the director, explained my disability, and asked if the qualifier could be waived and I could participate. She wrote back explaining that the race was "closed" (all participant slots had been claimed for this year) but would run it by the aquatics team, and she would love to help me find a way to participate next year. Because of course I can't take no for an answer I wrote back a long letter about Carpe Diem and how when you have a progressive debilitating disease, your abilities can change at any time, Ten years ago I was climbing mountains on the weekends; two years later, I couldn't climb, but I could do simple flat terrain hikes; two years later I could only walk with a cane, then a walker; two years later, I'm on crutches full time; today I bought my first scooter. I told her I know I can swim this race this year. Next year? I don't know. I would definitely want to help set up accommodations for persons with disabilities, but I honestly don't know where my body will be and whether I'll be able to do it. While that feels a bit exaggerated, I suppose I really DON'T know. So dammit, let me swim! How hard can it be? You waive the timing, I swim, Jim follows in a kayak, if I start to drown, he ties me to the bow and drags me to shore, LOL. So... I sent two emails back and asked her to rethink her decision and to run all that I'd written by her team. Keep your fingers crossed.
Finally emotional craziness has been trying to sort out issues with Jim. On the one hand, I appreciate when he realizes he's done something stupid and is trying to make up for it. He does a TON of chores (laundry, dishes, dusting, etc.) and is super attentive. Unfortunately, it really, really breaks down my resolve to NOT just let this go. I love him, he's my best friend, he's hysterically funny and smart and kind, etc. But we have a HUGE hurdle/issue that we've had for a number of years, and it really needs to be addressed by some counseling and some long term changes. I suppose the good news is that he called his shrink and asked for a referral to someone who does couples counseling (I called someone too. We're trying to find someone local who takes our insurance), which is actually pretty awesome on his part. Normally he would say he's going to do it, then do nothing. So, progress! I'm sure you're all on pins and needles, LOL. After 18 years together, this isn't going to resolve quickly, I'm sure of that one thing.
Wow... stopped typing for a second and suddenly I'm absolutely exhausted, so let me wrap this up with another 2000 words, hahahaaaaaaa! Foodwise was pretty indulgent today. I've been wanting to go to this little Greek taverna in Cambridge for ages, and we did that today, and I went a little nuts on reliving my many, many weeks spent in northern Greece through moussaka, spanikopita, tastziki, tabouleh, and so on (sorry about butchering the spelling here). Thank god my sleeve kept me pretty much in check on portions, but I did bring home a lot of leftovers and nibble all evening. I think I'm okay though. I've been way under calories quite a bit this week because of the swimming, so one day of indulgence shouldn't be too great a setback. Tomorrow I'll do some protein shakes and lots of water for breakfast and lunch. When I got on the scale this morning and saw 407 (and thanks everyone for cheering!), I was shocked, and it made me, yet again, remember that I don't have to do this "diet" perfectly, that I can have some indulgences and still lose weight, as long as I don't make them the norm.
Oh, yawn yawn, eyes closing, I need to get to bed. Thanks for reading this far if you made it. Hope everyone has a great friday!
K.
I'm up late so I thought I'd start a thread with tomorrow's date as a present to Nancy.
Today was a crazy emotional day, par for the course on this roller coaster ride week. I drove to Cambridge (yes, I pahked my cah in Hahvahd Yahd) to pick up a mobility scooter from a lovely woman whose husband only used it a few times and decided he didn't like it, too unstable (he has Parkinson's). Six hours of driving later, I now have a Pride Go Go Travel Scooter in the back of my car and the freedom to go almost anywhere I want without worrying about whether my joints are going to give out on me. It was a happy/sad experience... Happy for the new opportunities that having a scooter will bring; sad in that after ten years of fighting Still's Disease and "making due" with increasingly difficult mobility issues, I finally decided enough was enough and admitted that yeah, this disease has defeated me. I haven't managed to stop it and the damage it's done by sheer force of will. When I go to Virginia in a few weeks, I won't be sitting in the condo while everyone else goes to Colonial Williamsburg and Busch Gardens. I'll be right there with them. And when we go to Virginia Beach, I can scoot around the shops, but then use my crutches to boogie board again. REALLY looking forward to the fun, and packing LOTS of ice packs for the recovery, LOL!
I've also been writing out my case to our Y Aquatics director for why I should be allowed to participate in this year's Peaks to Portland race in mid July. (Swimmers take a ferry to Peak's Island in Casco Bay, then we swim the 2.4 miles to Portland's East End beach (with lots of kayak followers). I've wanted to do this race for several years, but I can't meet the qualifying time. I'm a strong swimmer and can swim for ages, but I just can't swim quickly enough any more. Before Still's, I used to swim 100 lengths/hour; now I swim 50 or 60, mostly because of shoulder and knee joint issues. Anyway, as I was swimming last night, four of the lanes were blocked off by the Peak's to Portland training, and I was once again lamenting that I wouldn't be in this race, when it occurred to me that maybe there's a disabled person's category that would include a different qualifying time. VERY EXCITING thought. Anyway, I emailed the director, explained my disability, and asked if the qualifier could be waived and I could participate. She wrote back explaining that the race was "closed" (all participant slots had been claimed for this year) but would run it by the aquatics team, and she would love to help me find a way to participate next year. Because of course I can't take no for an answer I wrote back a long letter about Carpe Diem and how when you have a progressive debilitating disease, your abilities can change at any time, Ten years ago I was climbing mountains on the weekends; two years later, I couldn't climb, but I could do simple flat terrain hikes; two years later I could only walk with a cane, then a walker; two years later, I'm on crutches full time; today I bought my first scooter. I told her I know I can swim this race this year. Next year? I don't know. I would definitely want to help set up accommodations for persons with disabilities, but I honestly don't know where my body will be and whether I'll be able to do it. While that feels a bit exaggerated, I suppose I really DON'T know. So dammit, let me swim! How hard can it be? You waive the timing, I swim, Jim follows in a kayak, if I start to drown, he ties me to the bow and drags me to shore, LOL. So... I sent two emails back and asked her to rethink her decision and to run all that I'd written by her team. Keep your fingers crossed.
Finally emotional craziness has been trying to sort out issues with Jim. On the one hand, I appreciate when he realizes he's done something stupid and is trying to make up for it. He does a TON of chores (laundry, dishes, dusting, etc.) and is super attentive. Unfortunately, it really, really breaks down my resolve to NOT just let this go. I love him, he's my best friend, he's hysterically funny and smart and kind, etc. But we have a HUGE hurdle/issue that we've had for a number of years, and it really needs to be addressed by some counseling and some long term changes. I suppose the good news is that he called his shrink and asked for a referral to someone who does couples counseling (I called someone too. We're trying to find someone local who takes our insurance), which is actually pretty awesome on his part. Normally he would say he's going to do it, then do nothing. So, progress! I'm sure you're all on pins and needles, LOL. After 18 years together, this isn't going to resolve quickly, I'm sure of that one thing.
Wow... stopped typing for a second and suddenly I'm absolutely exhausted, so let me wrap this up with another 2000 words, hahahaaaaaaa! Foodwise was pretty indulgent today. I've been wanting to go to this little Greek taverna in Cambridge for ages, and we did that today, and I went a little nuts on reliving my many, many weeks spent in northern Greece through moussaka, spanikopita, tastziki, tabouleh, and so on (sorry about butchering the spelling here). Thank god my sleeve kept me pretty much in check on portions, but I did bring home a lot of leftovers and nibble all evening. I think I'm okay though. I've been way under calories quite a bit this week because of the swimming, so one day of indulgence shouldn't be too great a setback. Tomorrow I'll do some protein shakes and lots of water for breakfast and lunch. When I got on the scale this morning and saw 407 (and thanks everyone for cheering!), I was shocked, and it made me, yet again, remember that I don't have to do this "diet" perfectly, that I can have some indulgences and still lose weight, as long as I don't make them the norm.
Oh, yawn yawn, eyes closing, I need to get to bed. Thanks for reading this far if you made it. Hope everyone has a great friday!
K.
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Thanks for posting in my time zone Karen!! I am midway thru my day...did some grocery shopping for some fruits and veggies. Not sure why I bother with the veggies as I don't eat much of them anyway! lol
Karen, so happy you got your scooter....so you will be scooten' away!! Hope you get to swim in the event too!! And your weight loss is amazing!! You will be in the 300's very soon!!! Sorry you are going thru some emotional craziness with your best friend, but whether we like it or not....sometimes we have to struggle with our relationships to keep them afloat. (Oh...who am I kidding!!! I just divorce them and get on with it....so I am NOT the person to talk to about relationships!! Sorry Zac!! ) Men are great! Just hard to deal with sometimes, but Karen, if you look back on all what you have built together in your relationship, friendship, support, struggles in daily living....I am sure you will work it out in the end!!! And finding a great counselor will be a great help!!! ( I am with Zac...the cat and crafts!! Zac I do beading...what do you do?)
Seems like some of us have been in a funk mood this week! Mine had to do with work. I have spent 6 years working my bum off here....and then something happens with another staff member, and I am being held accountable as head of the department.....and I was not even here! I was on vacation! Go figure!! So I have come to a decision...a major one...I am finally leaving here at the end of my contract!! When I made that decision... it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders as it usually does when you make a major life changing decision!! I have no plans on my next move or job.......but this 'ain't it!" I am hoping I get to leave end of September....which does not give me a lot of time to pack up my life and cats and move on!! So, I need to stay focused on my weight loss goals, exercising routine, getting rid of a lifetime of collecting stuff over here and pack it up and ship it home!! I think I will put together a timeline....like a gantt chart, and get myself organized to move my life forward!! A bit scary, but also a bit exciting too!!
Well folks....this has been great getting this off my mind!!! Like Karen, thanks for reading this if you made it through to the end too!!! My Friday is going OK, bloody sandstorm is brewing....so depressing seeing the trees and bushes just covered in sand and no sun shinning!!! Just wish it would rain and clean the place off!!! But then it may be mud!!!
Have a great Friday folks when you are up and about!!!! Thanks for listening!!!
n
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Well I decided to put a pic of me instead of my cats in my profile pic! LOL This was taken in December on my trip to the Grand Canyon with two friends.0
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Karen, I truly hope that you are allowed to swim in the event and I also hope that you are able to work things out with your husband (through the help of a professional).
Nancy, sometimes the feeling you get after making a decision is one of the best indicators that we are doing the right thing for ourselves. As far as crafts go, I enjoy to do woodworking and some other things like that. My friend and I are also thinking of opening an Etsy shop for the Harry Potter wands we make.
This is a picture of some of our first ones. They are a bit rough, but we seem to be getting better. It is something we do on occasion for fun. He is much better at them, but he indulges me haha.
I am really looking forward to next week. I am sad the show is ending, but the tennis nets just went up at my complex and I also bought a new racquetball racquet for Tuesday night games. I may have also successfully tried out for an a cappella group. We had rehearsal last night and I think it is going to be a ton of fun singing with these guys.
I hope everyone has a happy and healthy weekend.0 -
Happy Friday my friends!!!! I hope everyone is having a great day. The weather is absolutely beautiful, especially considering how horrible the rain has been most of the week. Nothing too exciting going on around here. I did go to the doctor for my yearly check-up and he was quite pleased. Even though I weighed the same amount that I had weighed the last time I was in his office (October or November I think), I was down 17 pounds from my yearly physical last March. It'll be a few days before I get the results of my bloodwork because he had to send me to an outside lab. Tonight, Michael and I are going to our Friday night couples Bible study. Tomorrow I should get a lot of steps in. We're having a cleaning day in the Fellowship Hall of church. Tuesday is our first "Room at the Inn" so we need a major cleaning to ready for that. I'm on the cooking team so I'll be tackling the kitchen because right now I wouldn't cook for my worst enemy in there. What's "Room at the Inn"? I know you're wondering, lol. There is a day service for transitional homeless families that gives them help with resumes, finding jobs, finding a place to live, parenting, etc. The only problem is that the clients can't spend the night there. That's where area churches come in. Churches volunteer for a particular night every month (our night is the second Tuesday of every month). We pick up to 10 homeless individuals/families and bring them to our church. We then feed them dinner, give them socialization/entertainment/quiet time/etc. and then give them a bed to sleep in. In the morning, they eat and then we transport them back to the day facility.
Karen, I'm so glad you were able to get the scooter though I completely understand your sadness over getting it as well. I'll be praying that you are able to swim in the race. That would be such an accomplishment for you. If anyone understands, it should be the Y. I'm sorry to hear about the situation with Jim. It sounds like a very good sign to me that he actually made that phone call. Praying that everything works out for the two of you. You are almost right in your statement "and it made me, yet again, remember that I don't have to do this "diet" perfectly, that I can have some indulgences and still lose weight, as long as I don't make them the norm." The only thing I would change is that word "diet." It is really more of a lifestyle change (in my humble opinion). Diet always gives me a negative feeling and I always link that word with failure. But that's just me. You are completely right in the sentiment though. You'll be in those 300's before you know it!!!
Nancy, I absolutely love seeing the picture of you. I love cats but it's so nice actually seeing who I'm talking with. So sorry to hear about the problem that your job is causing you - blaming you for something that happened while you were in the states. The fact that you feel like a weight has been lifted tells me that you made the right decision. Hopefully you won't have to go through too many more sandstorms.
Zac, love the wands. They are beautiful. A capella group? How awesome. You're really getting out there. I love it.
Well, I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend.
Dee0 -
Dee thanks for the insight. And I do agree with you...the word 'diet' has been removed from my vocabulary as it used to set me up for failure thinking about going on one! lol I try to say 'healthier lifestyle or food plan'.
Zac....those wands are absolutely fantastic! I can envision Harry Potter et al with them!!! And a capella group!! WOW.....hummmm ever thought about 'The Voice'?? or American Idol?? Sounds like you are quite a singer!! Congrats on making the cut!!
Karen....hope you are not scooting around running into those precious blown glass objects if you went to that glass museum!! lol...Make sure that horn is working on that scooter!!
Enjoy your weekend folks!! I weighed myself and only lost one pound this past week of exercising...guess my food intake was a bit too much...but off to do some exercising now....we must keep moving forward!!!!! We can do this!!! Actually we ARE doing this!!!
Cheers,
Nancy0 -
Good day everyone!! Sorry for being a day late. My best friends b'day was yesterday so other then tracking most of my food, I didn't read anything here.
Karen- I'm glad you got the scooter and are feeling OK about it. Big hugs that everything works out for you and Jim. I hope you get to swim this year also.
Zac- Awesome wands and singing.... YOU GO BOY!!!!
Nancy- Sorry to hear you got blamed for something while you were on vacation, but the fact that you felt a "weight" lifted off your shoulders when you made your decision means you made the right one.
Dee-Congrats on the weight loss and your community outreach work with the "Room at the Inn" sounds amazing. I'd love to get involved with something to help others or animals, but haven't really been able to.
Well, back to work!!0 -
My last stop on a very busy day is at the gym for laps. Will read and post comments later. Hope you are all well!
K.0 -
The start to my workweek...did a round of Pilates...ouch!0
