Monday, April 20, 2015

Aprilfoolbride

Aprilfoolbride

I'm struggling... I posted this on my wall and wanted to re-post here because I want your opinions. Laura pointed out that I have to want to lose weight more than I want to eat crappy food. I totally agree and my values and behavior are not matching. Hence, conflict.

Since Xmas I've gained 10lbs. I haven't logged nutrition here in ages. My now-living-across-the-country trainer insists on a low carb, low fat, tons of protein diet... I have a membership to WW that I don't use. (The only time in my adult life I was at a normal weight was on WW 10 years ago)... I read Why We Get Fat (upshot: carbs-insulin-fat) that advocates a high fat low carb diet. I do great on that until 6pm or cookie/brownie time. I spoke with a respected scientist at work and he confirmed that minimizing carbs is the healthiest way to go... Two weeks ago I paid a lot of money (and you guys know what a thrifty mama I am) for a "body tutor" who reviews what I've logged daily (on a different site) and is available via text/email 24/7 and to speak with weekly, yet I didn't reach out to her last night before I consumed mass quantities of brownies. (NOTE: I don't keep tempting food in my house, I just moved and my very nice neighbors brought over warm, homemade brownies. I told my hubs I don't want to see them again.)

Still emotionally eating sometimes. Haven't really lost lbs. Not okay with just being fat. I need some tough/kind love please.

valmaebel

April - I've stopped concerning myself with a number on the scale. It is only one small part of the whole picture, and to base you're entire success or failure on that is unwise. Most studies have shown that weight is based on what you eat. But that overall health has less to do with weight (except as a byproduct of an active lifestyle) then your activity level. Skinny and inactive people have the same health problems down the road as heavy and inactive people. Blood pressure/heart problems, etc. It is your activity level that will extend your life...and make the years you live more full. Meaning you won't suffer as much from the issues of old age. So you need to decide what you are doing this for. Do you want to look good and impress others? Or are you trying to improve your overall health and quality of life? Personally, I want both...but the latter being the goal that is the most important. So I do watch what I eat, slowly changing my habits. (I usually focus on only one area. Aid you focus on too many you are far more likely to fail. But I'll focus on one area for several weeks until it becomes a habit. Like, not eating for the two hours before I go to bed.) But my excercising and maintaining an active lifestyle are far more important to me. I weigh myself, but I also measure my waist and such. I also keep track of improvements in fitness. How many push-ups I can do during strength training. I do a mile run test and a 5 mile bike test every four weeks to see how those times have improved. All of these show me how I'm improving. I also keep a success diary every night...I go to bed focusing on three things I did WELL that day. Just my thoughts.

I'm now entering week two of this nasty crud that just won't go away. Thankfully it is already my rest and recovery week so it's supposed to be lighter anyway. But I'm getting frustrated at the inactivity. But it has settled in my lungs so cardio isn't really feasible right now. I'm hoping to do some strength training at least since that doesn't really get my heart rate or breathing up.

The plan is just lots and lots of rest!

PinkNinjaLaura

I went out for coffee with my Pilates instructor a few weeks ago to talk about nutrition because I'm struggling too. She's a couple years older than me, is very active, and 11 years ago she took of 35 pounds and has kept it off so she understands the struggle but has been successful with it. She suggested to me that I stop eating starches - still get carbs from fruits and veggies, but avoid breads, pasta, etc. When I said I knew I couldn't eat that way permanently she asked how I would feel about doing it temporarily to kick start things, and I told her that for me it doesn't work to temporarily eat in a way that's not sustainable for me either. I lost 39 pounds eating low carb, and put every single last one back on again when I started eating carbs again. My compromise is that I try to eat my starch with lunch, and then just have a protein & a vegetable for dinner. It doesn't always work out that way, but when I'm eating well that's the formula I follow 19 days out of 20. And I try to make those starches whole grain or whole wheat whenever possible. After 20+ years of trying to lose weight, sometimes more successfully than other times, I have a pretty good idea of what works for me and what doesn't work for me. No diet will be a success if you can't stick with it. I almost hate the phrase "lifestyle change" because it sounds so cliche, but you really do need to find changes that you can stick with for life. That doesn't mean you have to avoid everything, but it makes it easier to have those things be the exception vs the norm. And I will get back to that place myself. Working on it. I've also found you can't get complacent. You can be "in the zone" with your eating & exercise habits and it doesn't take long to fall back into the old patterns. One day last week my trainer was asking me why I'm over-eating and I told him it's because I like food, and that food is delicious. Sometimes it's just that basic. The trick for me is to find foods that I find delicious and satisfying that aren't also sabotaging my efforts. You have to enjoy your food for this to work.

I've been tired and stressed out for days. Have a few things in my house that need repairs and I'm praying for those things to hold on until I can get someone out to fix them, I'm trying to figure out where to magically come up with extra money to pay for those repairs (it's already an expensive time of year for me with Mother's Day, several family birthdays, a few upcoming weddings, etc. to buy gifts for), and while overall I do think my leg is getting better the pain is still constant so that's been draining. My run on Saturday was fairly miserable, although I think it would have been miserable even without the leg issues. Instead of the run being a good stress release I had too much time to brood, and I just never loosened up. Plus I'm slower than ever so I was out there for a very, very long time. I did 10 miles outside (walked 1 & ran 9 of them) and then 4 miles on the AMT/elliptical.

FromHereOnOut

April, I'm so glad you posted. I've been thinking alot about all this sort of thing lately, mainly because DH recently decided to "slim down for Summer" and everyday he tells me how his pants are falling off of him (yes, I do believe he is twisting the knife a little), yet I've basically been "dieting" in some form for as long as he's known me. It's so frustrating.

I can tell you that different things work for different people...buuuut, I think there are some very similar archetypes out there who can copy someone else's success and have success of their own. I think that's why low carb works for some and not other, same with vegetarian, or paleo, or any other "style of eating" that works for some and not for others. You have to find what works for you...and in some cases that means eliminating what DOESN'T work for you. For example, restricting things like chips, etc does NOT work for me. I prefer not to buy things that will tempt me, but sometimes we have these things for the kids; and sometimes I get cravings. I've found that restricting myself in the evening does NOT work for me, but LUCKILY I have no problem whatsoever restricting myself during the day. I've basically found accidentally that intermittent fasting works for me. I always was able to go all day without eating much, and when I started my aerobic/fat-burning running, I decided to do it fasted since I'd be utilizing fat for fuel anyway--thing is, I run around 3pm. So I've taken up fasting until my run and it's easy for me during the day. After my run, I have all my day's calories PLUS what I earned on my run to "spend" from about 5pm til I go to bed, and THAT's when I personally like to eat, so it works for me. Also, post-run my appetite is not so great (especially wrt emotional/boredom eating, b/c the running gives me such a psychological boost-- It's not just that I net fewer calories on days that I run because of the extra exercise cals, I actually CONSUME less on days that I run.). But I only found this by eliminating what was NOT working. Lately I've been overdoing carbs from fruit juice a bit and may address that in my next month's goals, but basically I do try to eat more towards protein, but I'm finding lately it hasn't mattered that much. But I also eat as much fat as I want, within my calorie goal, because I like fat. Really it just comes down to calories in and calories out, and for me psychologically the timing of BOTH of those things is VITAL (both exercise timing AND eating timing).

I've lost weight many different ways in my life, but I've found it's gotten harder lately and I don't know why. But, for NOW, I'm finding that I really must run daily to give myself calories because I just like to eat too much to starve myself 24/7 like I used to when I was younger and stupider. And anyway, the running is something important to me in and of itself (for my psychological well-being and for many health reasons).

I would suggest that you sit down with yourself and make a list of what you've tried, or are trying, and then eliminate what isn't working so that you can make room in your life for what WILL work. Then, at some point, you have to get outside of your head on the issue and get to it. I've found that the screen on my running watch that shows calories burned for my run is a huge motivator to stop thinking and start DOing. If all I do is live to see that number go up, I find success, because that means first that I have to start a run and second that I run as much as I can to see myself earn more calories, and lastly since I'm running most of the time in the aerobic/fat-burning HR range, I can be motivated that whatever that number is, it is predominately fat being burned.

Good luck and just know that it IS possible! You CAN do it! You really can. Know this.

FromHereOnOut

Wow, some good posts popped up while I was typing (with a 4yo's foot kicking at me the whole time). I agree so much with what val has said about health goals. I want to lose fat and look good, but what really drives me is wanting to play with my grandchildren some day. I see alot of women walking by the sea when I go run and they "motivate"(?) me because it is very common in Greece to see women walking together and barely getting around and basically linking arms and holding one another up for the walk. I obviously don't know what has happened in their lives, but I don't want to end up like that, and as a "stay home mom" I was headed there until I started to turn things around. And I really agree with what she said about forming habits. This is so important! You can't just up and change everything over night. You choose something and you slowly change it and let it take root and when it has taken root, you have freed up your resources (your mental focus) for the next thing.

I also agree sooo much with what Laura said about getting complacent. It really doesn't take much to fall back to old patterns, or to habits which do not help you with your goals. Sometimes it's like we are different people depending on habits/patterns. If you let one thing slip, it's like it triggers you into the entire pattern associated with that thing (so like for me, going to Starbucks could trigger the OLD me who used to go have Starbucks and sit on her butt for two hours while kid's at tutor), but on the plus side, if you can just muster the focus/energy to do one good thing, you can trigger the good pattern (so maybe this is why on days that I run I don't have alot of emotional snacking, etc...because I trigger the NEW me who has better exercise and eating habits when I muster the self-discipline to go for a run or to the gym).

So many good points posted! I love you guys!

FromHereOnOut

Oh yeah, today I ran just shy of 6mi. I explored a different area that a Garmin Connect friend suggested, by the sea, but around the marina and the new opera house that's being built. It was nice.

PinkNinjaLaura

I see we were all typing at the same time. Love what Val & Sherry had to say.

Picking up on Val's theme, the time in my life that I was eating the best was when I was trying to eat like an athlete instead of eating like a dieter. I picked foods that were fueling my body properly for the workouts I was doing. I tracked my food but I didn't obsess over calories. One day might be 1500 and one day might be 2100 (with my general goal being 1700-1800 at that time). I didn't feel deprived of the brownies because I wasn't looking at food in the same way. I'm working hard on getting back into that mindset. Friday night I wanted pizza, but I didn't buy one because I knew if I ate it I would feel like crap during my long run on Saturday.

On Saturday night, having worked out for 3+ hours, I went and got a delite pizza from Papa Murphy's, because I had the calories to spare and that's what I had been craving. Like Sherry, I don't have much of an appetite the day of my long runs but I've learned to make myself eat enough, because otherwise I'm starving the two days after. Even with the pizza I did not eat enough on Saturday, which meant I grazed all day yesterday and today I'm fighting the urge to do the same.

Aprilfoolbride

THANK YOU Valma, Sherry, & Laura for your posts, I know you guys know how I feel. Your advice is very helpful. I'm still a little verklempt.

agingwithfitness

Hi, busy day, dont know if you will see this at almost midnight. I am wide awake! Lol

April, i have been going through emotional eating for months because of our move. I finally made myself sick a few days last week and it sort of rebooted me into eating somewhat normal.

I have found when i try to diet no matter which one, cut out this or that, eat protein, eat less, etc as soon as i do that i immediately get invited to happy hour by girl friend, parties, tastsy treats at bookclub and off i go...

So my goal now is more focused on is this a type f food that will fuel my body for work or exercise. Then since i am not saying no to treats or booze i can stop at a little bit or one glass instead of feeling like i am never going to get it again!

I noticed i had more treats this weekend and i worked all weekend. I hope someday i can relax enough on a job i dont feel the need to do that.

Its not a matter for me of wanting food more than a thin body. Its more filling a emotional hole with food. I think when our lives feel out of control we reach for something comforting. My counselor told me to be gentle with myself that i am trying to comfort myself.