Dating

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  • nikoba
    nikoba Posts: 291 Member
    No! definitely not a habit! I hate that I did it, but don't want to beat myself up over it either. It was more like a alcohol induced mistake...going forward I will make sure that I prepare myself better for evenings when I know cocktails will be flowing.
  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
    nikoba wrote: »
    No! definitely not a habit! I hate that I did it, but don't want to beat myself up over it either. It was more like a alcohol induced mistake...going forward I will make sure that I prepare myself better for evenings when I know cocktails will be flowing.

    Right, I'm just saying that once won't kill you. :smile:
  • DianaElena76
    DianaElena76 Posts: 1,241 Member
    When I went off plan in April, I didn't really gain--maybe a pound of two--but it took me a week or two to see any additional loss (as in lower than before the carby mishaps).

    On another note, WOOHOOO!!! I'm so glad your date went well!!!

    Remember, EVERYONE is fighting their own battles, has their own securities, etc. Nobody is perfect, and when we build people up like that in our minds we are doing a disservice to ourselves as well as to them. Perfection does not exist in the real world--only the illusion of perfection.
  • nikoba
    nikoba Posts: 291 Member
    I've had two incidents of binging now, but I've gotten back on track immediately thereafter both times. It's making me recognize my weaknesses and how I need to tackle them.

    @Mami1976D ...you make a great point. I don't know why I turned him into this "perfect" being that was out of my league and wasn't good enough for when I've never even met him. My self esteem is definitely an issue I struggle with. And it doesn't help that I can be a bit neurotic and over analytical when it comes to my life and my role in it. I can turn into a female Woody Allen, it's disgusting. I'd like to get into yoga so I can focus on myself in a positive way, get out of my head, and learn how to calm the F down.

    But yeah...I'm glad last night went the way that it did. It was nice to just get that first hurdle out of the way and ease into dating with a little more confidence now.
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,103 Member
    nikoba wrote: »
    I've had two incidents of binging now, but I've gotten back on track immediately thereafter both times. It's making me recognize my weaknesses and how I need to tackle them.

    @Mami1976D ...you make a great point. I don't know why I turned him into this "perfect" being that was out of my league and wasn't good enough for when I've never even met him. My self esteem is definitely an issue I struggle with. And it doesn't help that I can be a bit neurotic and over analytical when it comes to my life and my role in it. I can turn into a female Woody Allen, it's disgusting. I'd like to get into yoga so I can focus on myself in a positive way, get out of my head, and learn how to calm the F down.

    But yeah...I'm glad last night went the way that it did. It was nice to just get that first hurdle out of the way and ease into dating with a little more confidence now.

    When things are important and emotional triggers, they tend to make us neurotic. I've talked myself out of going to events I killed to get invited to attend because of illogical social anxiety. I'd crazy myself out of thinking it was okay.
  • KetoGirl83
    KetoGirl83 Posts: 546 Member
    edited June 2015
    @nikoba So... good news! I am so happy it all went great.

    When I slipped into carbage I always gained weight but maybe your body/mind is too busy processing the feel good factor of the date and will forget it this time!

    ::flowerforyou::
  • Sugarbeat
    Sugarbeat Posts: 824 Member
    edited June 2015
    nikoba wrote: »
    Drinks set for Thursday evening...we shall see. The last time I dated I was 170lbs & 28 y/o rather than 220lbs and 37 y/o...confidence wasn't an issue then, but 60 pounds and some gray hairs later, ugh, I'm nervous. I'm trying to think of it as a job interview...even if I don't get the job, it's good practice. And hopefully if this guy turns out to be just a friend (which is still a win), at least I got the first date since the break up milestone out of the way. Now to figure out what to wear :) Thanks again for all the positive perspective...I need it and will probably read through all these again on Thursday for a boost.

    It's a job interview for HIM! You should be more concerned about whether or not you will like him rather than whether or not he will be attracted to you. That's my $0.02. If something like your weight is a deal breaker for a guy, he isn't the one.

    Agreed! I tell my girls to learn to love themselves and find a boy (they're teens) who agrees. OP if he acts negatively towards you, that's because he has an issue, not you. It sounds like that won't be the case, though. Good luck!
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    Men are visual creatures so I'm guessing he's likes what he saw in the pictures or he wouldn't have asked you out. Go and have fun. Be confident in who you are and what you have accomplished. Confidence is attractive and sexy.
  • tru2one
    tru2one Posts: 298 Member
    nikoba wrote: »
    I love you guys! :)
    This resulted in a post date late night run to taco bell and I went binge crazy. I'm trying hard not to feel guilty (the hang over and good first date haze helps ease the guilt too), but using it more as a learning experience and see how my body reacts to the gluttony. If you've slipped up and went face first into some carbage, do you always show a gain? I weighed myself this morning and I actually lost a little...I'm afraid my body hasn't caught up to the crap I threw into it and I'm going to be looking at a 5lbs gain in a day or so.

    Nope, I don't always show a gain the next day...especially if drinking. The alcohol dehydrates you even further than just low carb/keto does. I often DO bump up a pound or two the following day as my bod rehydrates, plus some.

    One binge-fest at Taco Bell is NOT going to undo what you've accomplished unless you make it a habit. If you get right back to your plan at the next meal, all will be well. And if it makes you feel any better, my post first date go-to was...a Domino's thin crust pizza. ;-)

    I'm so happy for you that you had such a great time and you're past the "OMG...this is so SCARY!" part. If there was chemistry, I hope that date #2 is imminent.

    My POF catch and I will be celebrating date #7 (in less than 2 1/2 weeks) this evening.

    He's grilling ribeyes for me. :-)
  • slimzandra
    slimzandra Posts: 955 Member
    edited June 2015
    Hi Nikoba, I'm an "Old" pro when it comes to online dating, so I would like to share some "motherly" advice. I know, I can't help myself, having been on a few near disasters myself, so hopefully, my comments might help you or others to learn from my successes and failures while searching for love online.

    I'm glad your date went well. Hopefully, he turns out to be a great guy and you have lots of fun. So, It goes without saying that you are young and beautiful, and well, just be careful, there are predators out there. I know you've got enough to worry about, there's just one that sometimes we overlook in an effort for us to be liked. I know we all tell our kids to beware of stranger danger, but sometimes we don't use the rule ourselves. Just because you have emailed or talked on the phone a few times, doesn't "qualify" someone as trustworthy. Yes, you can weed out anyone who don't have common interests, or have the wrong color eyes, whatever your criteria is for finding a friend or mate, but here's the truth-- some people lie and the dangerous ones are good at it. Shocker, I know.
    I love a few drinks, but it is never a good idea to mix alcohol and a new situation on the first few dates. Since you are dieting, one drink is going to hit you harder than you'd expect, and two might be even worse. That effects not only your judgment and awareness about noshing afterwards, but also how you portray yourself, what you say, think and do. On first meetings, people are assessing everything about each other.

    One other word about drinking and eating with someone you don't really know. Be aware of whatever you are drinking. Leave to the restroom only when you have an empty drink. Do not leave food or a drink unattended. It is sad, to suspect the worst from someone you just met, but err on the side of caution. Although, there are some warnings posted on dating sites, The following are true: Do not get into his car on the first date. Do not go home with him on the first date. It may sound old fashioned, but meeting someone online, as a total stranger - as opposed to meeting someone you meet through mutual friends is a bit different. Stay in a populated area, know where your keys are and be able to drive yourself home, which comes under the first topic, don't drink to much on the first few dates. When you write, "It was an alcohol induced mistake", there are worst one's out there, and yea, it can cost you more than a few extra calories. Never beat yourself up over a mistake, but you can live and learn and grow wiser from them. Meanwhile, have fun, enjoy new friendships, but stay safe.
  • Fvaisey
    Fvaisey Posts: 5,506 Member
    nikoba wrote: »
    No! definitely not a habit! I hate that I did it, but don't want to beat myself up over it either. It was more like a alcohol induced mistake...going forward I will make sure that I prepare myself better for evenings when I know cocktails will be flowing.

    As far as alcohol induced mistakes go, eating too much at Taco Bell is no where near the worst... Those consequences are temporary. I'm happy that you had a good time.

  • nikoba
    nikoba Posts: 291 Member
    @tru2one I like your 2 cents and your tales...I hope your ribeye and 7th date are a great one. I left my phone at home on the charger on accident, so I'm dying to see if I have any texts waiting for me when I get home :)
  • tru2one
    tru2one Posts: 298 Member
    nikoba wrote: »
    @tru2one I like your 2 cents and your tales...I hope your ribeye and 7th date are a great one. I left my phone at home on the charger on accident, so I'm dying to see if I have any texts waiting for me when I get home :)

    LOL...Oh, yes...the texting anticipation!!!!

    I just got one a second ago, informing me that there will not only be ribeye but roasted brussel sprouts on the menu for this evening. I told him on the first date that I do keto, which he had never heard of. I explained and he said, "Huh. That's how I eat all the time."

    I think we should get married now, of course. ;-)
  • Twibbly
    Twibbly Posts: 1,065 Member
    Fvaisey wrote: »
    As far as alcohol induced mistakes go, eating too much at Taco Bell is no where near the worst... Those consequences are temporary. I'm happy that you had a good time.

    Temporary, yes, but have you smelled some people after they ate Taco Bell? My little girl could run a jet engine with all the gas coming out of her!
  • GiGiBeans
    GiGiBeans Posts: 1,062 Member
    So glad your first date went well! I bet he was nervous too. Who isn't really?

    If the scale is not up the next morning you're pretty much in the clear. Every so often ya get lucky like that. Do it again the next day though and it's pretty much a 5lb water weight gain. And don't be surprised if that little bit you lost comes back - I noticed I would lose a little after a few drinks but it was temporary. Maybe you'll get lucky 3 times (him, no gain & a loss).
  • Kitnthecat
    Kitnthecat Posts: 2,075 Member
    I'm so happy for you that your date went well !
  • Sunny_Bunny_
    Sunny_Bunny_ Posts: 7,140 Member
    I imagine you will bounce back from any "harm" the junkie foods did. Just get back on the saddle and learn from it.
    Next date, you will probably not forget to eat something first.
  • Sunny_Bunny_
    Sunny_Bunny_ Posts: 7,140 Member
    Oh. And I'm glad it turned out to be a fun date!
  • SlimBride2Be
    SlimBride2Be Posts: 315 Member
    So glad it went well. You will be fine with the Taco Bell, just don't make a habit of it.

    Spell out how you eat early on and he (or whoever you are dating) will see it as a part of you. Men don't generally complain about eating lots of meat!!
  • totaloblivia
    totaloblivia Posts: 1,164 Member
    tru2one wrote: »
    nikoba wrote: »
    @tru2one I like your 2 cents and your tales...I hope your ribeye and 7th date are a great one. I left my phone at home on the charger on accident, so I'm dying to see if I have any texts waiting for me when I get home :)

    LOL...Oh, yes...the texting anticipation!!!!

    I just got one a second ago, informing me that there will not only be ribeye but roasted brussel sprouts on the menu for this evening. I told him on the first date that I do keto, which he had never heard of. I explained and he said, "Huh. That's how I eat all the time."

    I think we should get married now, of course. ;-)
    Would make the boring compromises of married life easier for sure!
  • dnunny70
    dnunny70 Posts: 411 Member
    I am back in the dating game. Currently seeing someone and he is attracted to me. I am no small last...I am 258! It is fun, exciting and nerve wracking at the same time. Lol. Good luck!
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