06.17.15- forgot to post yesterday
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carimiller7391
Posts: 1,091 Member
Good afternoon ladies and gents!!!
Hope this finds everyone well and enjoying the day.
Well day 1 of keeping track of foods and moods/energy without trying to really follow any special type of LCHF food plan was eye opening. I found that yesterday I ate because I was upset with Reggie, bored, because food was present, bored, bored and more bored....because I was having a craving, and finally because I was still awake. Thought I deserved it. I'm looking back at it right this minute and it is depressing as well as thought provoking to see how I "treat" myself. But, I also see the light at the end of the tunnel too. I know this is just a bump in the road to get me mentally to where I need to be. I also plan on going back to my paper journals, instead of just here. I find being able to reflect is helpful. I see where my poor food choices are yesterday and am working to change that up tomorrow. I also found how HUGE of a part my mood plays in what I choose to shovel in my mouth. Monday night, for instance, Reggie and I got into an arguement... Tuesday morning I was still so peeved that I ate 6 pepperidge farm toffee and chocolate chip cookies, (Over the course of 1.5 hours) out of spite. Now who the heck was I hurting eating 6 cookies but me?? I recognize this now, but yesterday.... NOPE.... I also found that if I have food sitting around me.... I feel that I have to eat. Today, I even went to the point of bringing no cash to work so I couldn't hit the vending machines. The games we play with ourselves are tremendous.
So tonight I plan on cleaning out my car..getting any food out of it. Also plan on going to the grocery store for pickles, (I hear they are a great source of sodium), I have plenty of cheese at home to make cheese crisps, and making some chicken thighs tomorrow night.
Just being accountable...
Hope this finds everyone well and enjoying the day.
Well day 1 of keeping track of foods and moods/energy without trying to really follow any special type of LCHF food plan was eye opening. I found that yesterday I ate because I was upset with Reggie, bored, because food was present, bored, bored and more bored....because I was having a craving, and finally because I was still awake. Thought I deserved it. I'm looking back at it right this minute and it is depressing as well as thought provoking to see how I "treat" myself. But, I also see the light at the end of the tunnel too. I know this is just a bump in the road to get me mentally to where I need to be. I also plan on going back to my paper journals, instead of just here. I find being able to reflect is helpful. I see where my poor food choices are yesterday and am working to change that up tomorrow. I also found how HUGE of a part my mood plays in what I choose to shovel in my mouth. Monday night, for instance, Reggie and I got into an arguement... Tuesday morning I was still so peeved that I ate 6 pepperidge farm toffee and chocolate chip cookies, (Over the course of 1.5 hours) out of spite. Now who the heck was I hurting eating 6 cookies but me?? I recognize this now, but yesterday.... NOPE.... I also found that if I have food sitting around me.... I feel that I have to eat. Today, I even went to the point of bringing no cash to work so I couldn't hit the vending machines. The games we play with ourselves are tremendous.
So tonight I plan on cleaning out my car..getting any food out of it. Also plan on going to the grocery store for pickles, (I hear they are a great source of sodium), I have plenty of cheese at home to make cheese crisps, and making some chicken thighs tomorrow night.
Just being accountable...
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Replies
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Cari, sounds like you are doing some really important work here. VERY interesting to see your emotional links to food.
Last night I found myself craving all kinds of carbs and sweets---sciatic pain was so bad, I was in bed at 7:00!--and I logged into the grocery store online order site and put all kinds of binge-sweet food into my cart. Then I deleted it instead of placing my order, thank goodness. Why do we think we need to eat junk to feel better? Maybe we get a momentary sugar high, but ultimately, it makes us feel worse.
How about a ten day "no vending" challenge, Cari? You can do this!
K.0 -
Karen, right now I am working on moods and finding out how situations affect me. When I eat and why. If I am hungry, bored, emotional, etc. What I can do in place of eating. I think the mental is the hardest part for me, so I am working on that first. I need to know how I am affected to get to the root cause and fix it. It may sound crazy that I am taking this baby steps at a time, but I know diving in full strength is setting me up for failure. I'm tired of failing, so this is the approach I am taking.0
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Have you worked with an eating disorder therapist?
That might be a good idea for you. One thing I learned from mine was that just because I have the compulsion/desire to binge or compulsively overeat, doesn't mean I have to act on it. For months, I threw a lot of drive-thru fast food out the window of my car after taking one bite. RatPat used to tease me about single-handedly causing the raccoon and skunk obesity epidemic in Maine, LOL!
This is a tough journey we're on, Cari. I know exactly what you mean when you say you're tired of failing. But as long as you keep trying, you haven't failed. There's no "right way" to conquer this beast!
Xxoo
K.0 -
Hey Karen,
I see Susan for everything. She's my therapist because of my bipolar, but deals with everything, so she helps with the eating also.0 -
I sure can scarf the food down when I am bored too! I need to just get busy and do something. Usually if I keep my hands busy for a while, the thought of eating will disappear...thus my beading hobby!! But I to can sympathize with this huge issue! and Karen...what is wrong with going to bed at 7PM...I do it almost every night! lol...it keeps me from thinking about food...and besides that I am so tired after work...I need to get into bed...read a bit and hopefully asleep by 7:30pm...but then again, I am up between 0230 am and 0315 and on the treadmill by 0400 to watch an episode of GRIMM!! LOL0
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