Help! My 13yr old son needs to lose weight
sandyyb1
Posts: 18 Member
Hi all!
I just love how supportive this group is, so I thought I would turn to you all for advice. My 13 year old needs to lose about 20 pounds, and I'm wondering what the best strategy to take? I know he doesn't (and probably wouldn't) count calories, has anyone else had their kids do low carb too?
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!!
I just love how supportive this group is, so I thought I would turn to you all for advice. My 13 year old needs to lose about 20 pounds, and I'm wondering what the best strategy to take? I know he doesn't (and probably wouldn't) count calories, has anyone else had their kids do low carb too?
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated!!
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Replies
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Sorry im no help, but just wanted to say ive been trying to lower my 3.5 yr old son's carbs just slightly, as he's a total sugar monster, and it's not going well! He goes almost psychopathic if i try to stop him eating so much carb-heavy rubbish. All he likes to eat are carbs. Crazy, isnt it, how addicted we become as humans to sugar, from such an early age. Its like trying to wean a drug addict off heroine - resistance all the way.
Anyway, your son is a lot older than mine, so hopefully you may be able to explain things to him in a way he'd understand. I wish you the best of luck.0 -
What's his diet like now? It's hard to wean kids off of sugar and grains, but that's the best approach. It needs to become a habit rather than something that makes him feel deprived.
The good news is that he can burn a bunch of calories by just playing and growing. The hard part is breaking old habits and establishing new ones.0 -
Do you have a lot of starchy/carb laden food in the house? If so, I would start by getting rid of any visible temptations and make sure that there are healthy alternatives around. Try to figure out what healthy foods he does like and encourage him to eat those.
I sympathize with you - I was overweight at that age and it's very hard to get a teenager to comply with any sort of "diet".0 -
Here are my experiences from both sides, it's wordy and may or may not help, but here it goes...
Starting when I was 12 and about 30lbs. overweight, my mom (because she loves me) put me on a diet. I had several different "diet plans" or when I was really overweight, a meal replacement shake. Over time I developed a love/hate relationship with food. I'd fluctuate between starving myself to lose weight to binging in the closet and gaining it all (and more) back. I'm still working out these issues 30 years later.
Knowing this, when my girls became overweight I had them to pick out a dance class they'd like at our community center for $30 a month. I never mentioned any kind of diet or restricted what they ate in the house, we just stopped buying junk food and eating out as much (so could pay for the classes... wink, wink). Within six months they were both at a healthy weight. One of the perks of being young!
I'm know they still ate chips, pizza and soda at school (I really hate when teachers use it as a reward!) and I know they still eat badly at their grandparents' house, but as long as they eat healthy food at home most of the time, the extra activity was all they really needed. They've done ice skating, ballet, jazz, hip hop, I'm ok with anything that will get them moving. The little one got tired of classes, but now she spends most of her afternoons riding her bike outside. It's been 4 years and they're both still at a healthy weight.
I do limit sugar intake when meal planning and cooking, but because my husband and girls don't need to lose weight, I don't really limit their carbs. Our meals usually consist of a protein, a vegetable, and a starch. Because I'm low carb, I don't eat the starch. (I say I don't really care for breads, potatoes, pasta, or rice anymore... Lies!) Our meals do skew a little fatty. Cream sauces and butter make it taste richer and they get full on less, so no one feels deprived or has a need to go searching for snacks between meals. We always have fresh fruit on hand for "dessert" (now berries with cream so I can have some too) or when a meal is going to be late. The issue resolved itself without any obvious restrictions on what they ate.0 -
This is such a touchy subject and actually one I've talked with my sons doctor about. My son is 11. Anyways. My understanding is that you really don't want them to lose weight while they are growing and going through so many hormonal changes. The plan is to maintain their current weight so their height and growth and such catches up.
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And touching on the issue bernadettemariev was talking about, my mom was opposite. I wanted so badly to lose weight and get fit. Age 15 or so I started going to the gym and walking. I'd come home and she ordered pizza. I wasn't allowed to make a separate meal because i was to est what everyone else ate. We would go get slushees from 7-11 at least 5 days a week.
It's tough. It's hard to know how much leway with choices you should give your child. You don't want to restrict them so much that they binge but you don't want to give them so much freedom that they don't care.
I'm rambling but OP I understand and wish I could help more but I'm kind of riding the same wave.0 -
It's definitely easier with boys, if you can keep things steady and they have a growth spurt it really evens out. Make all at home meals heathy and low carb and it should even out. Don't bang on about diet.0
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Is he interested in biology? I started counting calories at that age, but I'm a girl. If he's interested in science you might be able to frame it arOund that, how different foods effect the body and such. My mom also involved me in the cooking process which got me interested and made me more aware. You might also mention that he's going into high school, and that he might like to look hot for the ladies.0
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sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »You might also mention that he's going into high school, and that he might like to look hot for the ladies.
Ack! Maybe it's me but I really don't suggest this!0 -
Get him exercising!! Less time in front of the TV or computer. He is still growing; there are lots of young teens who are pudgy and are still developing. He could hit a growth spurt at 16, like many guys do and his weight will redistribute. Cook healthy foods and have dinner as a family. You're in charge and he should have to eat what you serve him.
I don't know every detail of your situation and if you do or don't do these things, but these are great places to start. Also, just encourage health; don't give him a tough time about his weight. That never goes anywhere good.0 -
This is a tough one. I am struggling with something similar for my 15 yo daughter. She's thin, but she eats a lot of crap. For the past two months she's given up meat, and she's lost about 4-6 lbs, but it's very obvious. She is cognizant of the need for protein and we went out and bought all kinds of meat replacements and are keeping more veggies that she likes in the house, however her go to is bread and peanut butter, chips and hummus and other carb heavy snacks. We talk about nutrition and I've encourage her to join MFP or another food tracking site, just to give her more insight into her eating habits, but so far she says she's too busy...
I think your son is still young enough (as is my daughter) to nip some of the less healthy habits and teach them some better options. It just takes time and patience and lots of diversity. Kids will always go back to what they know, so we just have to get the good stuff in front of them more frequently.
Good luck, your son will be fine, I'm sure.0 -
AngInCanada wrote: »sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »You might also mention that he's going into high school, and that he might like to look hot for the ladies.
Ack! Maybe it's me but I really don't suggest this!
Yeah. Please don't do this.0 -
Has he mentioned that his weight or appearance bothers him? As Bernadette said, just control the meals in your house and encourage activity. I would not try to restrict him across the board. And as others also mentioned, the boys often have growth spurts and they leave the pudge behind them.0
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Hi, I have a 13 year old son. He is tall, thin, muscular, just like his Dad. So genetics, not what I feed him is probably more in play. He is vain (like most teenage boys) and does want to look Hot. Maybe not for the girls,
but he's all about looking cool and being cool. Right clothes, right hair, right shoes. He flexes to show off his muscles, which is kind of funny, because in the big picture he's still pubescent and pretty scrawny. But I act impressed.
He eats everything, constantly! Good stuff and bad. I don't think lo-carb with him, but he does gravitate towards proteins naturally. He devours, steaks, hamburgs, haddock, eggs, whole milks, bacon AND also, cereal, chicken nuggets, buffalo chicken wings, milkshakes, hotdogs, mac and cheese, corn, salads, the only tough one is still green vegs. What keeps him lean is that he is constantly on the go! In his case you can exercise off a bad diet. I SHUT OFF the electronics, which I think is a huge factor and I keep him interested in sports, athletics, track and field. He finishes homework, then has 1 hour a day, which is still too much in my opinion to facetime, play egames, whatever they do now on the ipad. Otherwise, he is riding his bike, running, walking to the youth center, playing basketball with his friends, skateboarding, swimming, kicking a scooter, golfing, running with the dog, throwing a ball. He jumps to touch the tops of doorways. I also do a lot things with him - which keeps me active and helps my situation. My thought is to kick him outside and don't let him come in until dinner. *IF* we do fast-food, which is not often, he'll order a bacon,egg and cheese wrap and not a donut and he'll order double cheeseburgers, but no fries. There is one dinner and meals are eaten as a family. There are no "munchies" around the house. He can have ice cream for a bedtime snack. But no chips, cookies, or Hostess whatevers. I don't keep those things in the house. I do have berries and fruits. He isn't old enough to make his own money, so if I don't buy it - he can't eat it.0 -
Also it's important to be a fantastic role model. Never criticise your weight or that of others in front of him. Talk about health, not weight, when it comes to your food choices. Keep your own weight down (hah, easy to say!) and always make healthy meals, keeping soda and crap out of the house. Don't worry about pointing out his weight to him. If he is pudgy, he already knows about it. Make good food normal, prioritise moving plenty and he will be fine!0
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SlimBride2Be wrote: »Also it's important to be a fantastic role model. Never criticise your weight or that of others in front of him. Talk about health, not weight, when it comes to your food choices. Keep your own weight down (hah, easy to say!) and always make healthy meals, keeping soda and crap out of the house. Don't worry about pointing out his weight to him. If he is pudgy, he already knows about it. Make good food normal, prioritise moving plenty and he will be fine!
Perfect post! Ive heard when people want to stage an intervention for an overweight loved one. DUH, do you think they don't know they are overweight? Lol.
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AngInCanada wrote: »sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »You might also mention that he's going into high school, and that he might like to look hot for the ladies.
Ack! Maybe it's me but I really don't suggest this!
Maybe I'm one among a weird young adult group
But guys that age tend to be aware of the girls/guys going through puberty and want to look good so they feel that they "measure up" to the "most datable" girls/guys in school. At least this is what my guy friends went through at that age and through high school. Just my experience. 0 -
sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »Maybe I'm one among a weird young adult group But guys that age tend to be aware of the girls/guys going through puberty and want to look good so they feel that they "measure up" to the "most datable" girls/guys in school. At least this is what my guy friends went through at that age and through high school. Just my experience.
I think the objection is that that train of thought is one of the ones that tends to be more influential in breeding eating disorders in boys. It might be a motivating benefit once it happens, but it's a terrible goal for someone whose physiology is going through the awkward growth and hormonal shifts of puberty, things that are completely out of their control.
There's such a lot of great advice coming through on this thread. Activity and patience. Keeping more nutritionally appropriate food in the house. I remember losing 20 lbs in high school when my mother quit cooking out of boxes. Not having those extremely refined carbs around really makes a difference.
And motivation and awareness really makes a big difference. If you think he should lose weight but he doesn't care, that can really be a source of anxiety. If it's a case that HE is concerned about it, rather than just you or the doctors being concerned about it, give this article a read. You might be surprised what his answer may be: The One Question That Can Also Be an Answer
Good luck!0 -
@AreteAndWhimsy, what a great article! I agree with the gist of the advice in this thread: provide healthy food options, teach about health when you can, encourage activity. One of Dr. Robert Lustig's pieces of advice for parents is to have their kids buy their screen time with outside time. We've done that to an extent in our house, and it works great most of the time. Living by example is important, too.0
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My first thought is I wonder if he is drinking calories. If so, eliminating all beverages that have calories except for any necessary amount of skim or coconut/almond milk will help cut the calories down a lot.
My own kids have always been given no calorie drinks so they are used to it. But I am always surprised when I realize how uncommon that is. Literally everyone that I know, even if they buy themselves diet drinks, will buy the full sugar variety for their kids.
Anyway, just wondering if that's the case. That's pretty easy to fix and you can just explain that drinking such high sugar things is known to cause all kinds of health problems. Then try to keep an eye on portions and make sure snacks are low calorie. If you can even get him to just maintain his weight, the next growth spurt he goes through should help even things out a bit.0 -
sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »AngInCanada wrote: »sweetteadrinker2 wrote: »You might also mention that he's going into high school, and that he might like to look hot for the ladies.
Ack! Maybe it's me but I really don't suggest this!
Maybe I'm one among a weird young adult group But guys that age tend to be aware of the girls/guys going through puberty and want to look good so they feel that they "measure up" to the "most datable" girls/guys in school. At least this is what my guy friends went through at that age and through high school. Just my experience.
This is absolutely a real thing, and I would NOT tiptoe around it. I was a fat, lonely, geeky kid in my early teens. Once I gained a little self-awareness and realized I was chunky (and getting bullied, etc.), I was on a mission. Lost the weight, started lifting weights and running, got a real haircut and learned how to dress, got a hot girlfriend, all that. The social world of teenagers is vicious and being at the very bottom of the heap sucks.
My mom's been overweight my whole life and has always kept the house stocked with ice cream and cookies and every kind of snack cake, etc. When I was new at fitness and struggling to get started, I remember being so... freaking angry that she'd keep buying all this crap and wrecking our health. I flipped out once and grabbed handfuls of cookies and was chunking them out in the backyard (I've since, uh, calmed down (and take responsibility for my own dumbness))
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Anyways, advice:
1. Be fit: for yourself, to set an example, and so you'll have something useful to teach.
2. Don't keep junk food around. That stuff's for special occasions or very specific exercise-refeed protocols. Or adults who have their self-control dialed in. Not minors. Treat it like alcohol.
3. Make sure he understands TDEE and CICO. Don't make a fuss, just something like "Body management is easy. This is how it works...." It should take about five minutes. Point out what you're eating sometimes, the calorie counts, and how that fits in relative to your own TDEE. That way you'll demonstrate awareness of the principles and how to use them routinely.
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WOW!! I can't thank you all enough for such wonderful input and advice! To answer a few questions - he is VERY aware he is overweight, and it breaks my heart to say he has been bullied for it. I would never ever push it on him, or force a "diet". Unfortunately as diet conscious as I am for myself, his dad is the complete opposite. ALL HE eats is junk, so it is always in the house. There has been MANY an argument about this issue, and I know he won't change, all I get is eye-rolls.
My son is a self-pronounced "geek", and it doesn't help that his little brother is a natural athlete who rubs it in every chance he gets. (SIGH ...)
He is at home by himself this summer for the first time and self-discipline will be the key. I am going to make his lunches and snacks for this week and give him ideas to exercise during the day. We live in Florida though, so sending him outside is a hellish punishment!
Please, please, please keep the advice and support coming..It is TRULY APPRECIATED!!!0 -
If his brother is a natural athlete, that probably means he's got the genes he needs for exercise to be effective. I've seen lots of kids who slimmed down with exercise as they got older.
If he's a "geek," does that mean he likes science? Learning about metabolism and how we store fat is cool science.
Finally, if he's sensitive about body image, he may be motivated to start lifting weights. In high school, I recall two kids -- fraternal twins. They were overweight as freshman. They lifted weights over the summer and came back as very buff sophomores. Their popularity soared. (I only remember because I was awed and jealous.
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I would not buy things with sugar, soft drinks, sports drinks, white flour products. Everyone should eat the same foods. Low carb High fat will be fine for him, too. He should eat what you eat. I assume you are LCHF.0
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Talk to his dad and tell him that yu are concerned for your son's health. Get dad on board. too.0
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THANK YOU!!!!
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